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[文书-求改] 物理凝聚态 PS求狠批求意见

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qldx 发表于 2014-11-1 18:00:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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完全不知道怎么写,折腾了这么长时间,写了一下主体结构,不知道怎么构造开头,结尾根据申请学校而定,但是PS太长了,废话很多,反正就是各种严重问题,pdf排版似乎有问题,凑合看吧。先行谢过。

As a top student from theUniversity of Science and Technology of China(USTC), which is one of the mostprestigious universities in China, I am proud of my very strong foundation inmath and physics and great potential for study and research, which are keyfactors to a successful further study as well as a successful research career.
The best proof of my potentialfor study is the fast rise of my study rank in the department. My freshman lifein the School of Earth and Space Sciences was a depression period for me and I feltno much interest in my major, and did poorly in most subjects. However, afteradjusting my major to physics and finding out the problems in my study methods,I spent the next year on diligent and highly effective study, and my rank inthe class soared from the second half of my former class to No.4 out of 78students. Since then, I have always kept being one of the top students. I haveearned the excellent academic records of overall GPA 3.85 and most majorcourses A or A+. I even acted as the teaching assistant in my senior year and awardedoutstanding graduate when I graduated.
In addition to regular study, Ihave been involved in research projects during the undergraduate study. Theseresearch projects spanned such diverse subjects as energy conversion, fuelcell, and strongly correlated systems.
My early research began from the“Research-oriented Physics Experiment Project”. I worked with my friends on theproject about the photoelectric conversion of metallofullerene. During theshort two months, we divided the work into preparation of materials,characterization of products, theoretical simulation and calculations. We arrangedour job according to interests and strengths, and discussed our progress andthe next plan every week. I was responsible for the physical part and thedesign of experimental device. Cooperation helped our work stand out and win thefirst prize.
Later, I wanted to do sometheoretical work to practice being creative. So I joined in Professor ZijinLin’s group, whose research focused on the theory of modeling and simulation ofthe solid oxide fuel cells (SOFC). My job is to design models to calculate theconductivity of SOFC composite electrodes in different circumstances moreaccurately. After reading the introductory books during the National Days, I attendedthe group meetings actively, and offered my ideas towards many problems. Later,I was assigned the task to assist a doctoral in modeling the conductivity of a specificternary system. Unlike the general random system, I notice that the electronicconductor is surrounded by a great many ionic conductors, and thus, theyformalize a new bigger ball. Then the bigger balls make up of the cathode andthe anodes randomly. To start with, I developed the existing coordinationnumber theory and used it as basis for the further calculation. After that, Icalculate the conductivity of each composite electrode ball as a whole. Later,I introduced the body-centered cubic lattice into the calculation of theporosity of a large number of ionic balls. At last, our theoretical modelmatches pretty well with the experiment. The article, of which I am the secondauthor, has been included in the proceedings of the 19thInternational Conference on Solid State Ionics and accepted by Solid StateIonics.
Experiences in Professor Lin’sgroup enhanced my ability of thinking. To design a model fit for the specificsystem, I have to be more creative. To take more restricted condition intoconsideration, I have to be stricter. What’s more, I got adapted to theacademic life and got to like it. Gradually I found I am lost in themicrocosmic wonderful phenomenon. The fascinating phenomenon the microcosmicworld shows attracts me to develop my ability on it.
In addition, I was selected toattend Umich-REU program in 2013 summer and worked in Lu Li’s lab, whichconcentrated on experiments about strongly correlated electrons. During thesummer, I assisted in the operation of the device in the lab and improved my experimentalskills. Besides, since there were a variety of activities in REU program, suchas weekly seminar, visiting nanofabrication laboratory, Fermilab and localmuseum and so on, I had the opportunity to experience the American life, andenhanced my ability to adapt to western culture quickly.
My interest shifted to stronglycorrelated systems due to experience in Umich. Then after returning to USTC, Ijoined Prof. Xianhui Chen’s group to learn more about topological insulators.My bachelor thesis was about the transport properties of doped SmB6. Thistopic, which won outstanding thesis, gave me a thorough process to studysomething new, from sample preparation, measurements to data analysis. After I decidedto wait for another year to apply for graduation school, I continued to furthermy research and took some graduate course like superconductivity physics aswell, and now I am looking forward to my new exploration in my graduationperiod.

Statement of Purpose of mine_1.pdf

186.84 KB, 下载次数: 4, 下载积分: 大米 -1 升

PS

Michael23He 发表于 2014-11-1 20:41:34 | 显示全部楼层
太专业了。。。。。。帮顶
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RafaelPrince 发表于 2014-11-1 21:08:21 | 显示全部楼层
非限制性定语从句太多了
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 楼主| qldx 发表于 2014-11-5 12:53:08 | 显示全部楼层
RafaelPrince 发表于 2014-11-1 21:08
非限制性定语从句太多了

发现了,多谢提醒~
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