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[T作文-求改] 求狠批!哪个对工作成功更重要?适应力or知识

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619899442 发表于 2014-11-3 21:24:22 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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When it comes to how to succeed in doing a new job, some people think that the ability of adapting to the new environment is more important compared with the knowledge of the job. However, others hold a different point of view, they believe the knowledge is more important. As far as I am concerned, the adapting ability is much more important, and this claim is attributable to several aspects, which will be stated as follows.

In the first place, the person who have enough knowledge but is lack of adapting ability cannot be succeed, because if that person cannot successfully adapt to the new environment, he or she will lose the opportunity to collaborate with colleagues. In fact, teamwork is so important in modern society that nobody can achieve the real success without it. Take the case of my friend Mark, who is such a clever person that can work out most complex academic problem in a short time. However, after graduation, he joined a company and could not adapt to the company’s environment, then he found nobody to cooperate with. Finally, all of his colleagues considered him as a weird person, and he got fired in spite of his great intelligence. Thus, with the consideration of Mark’s example, the person who cannot get used of new environment may never succeed. Therefore, the adaptive capacity is more important.

In the second place, the person who have the ability to adapt new environment but is short of enough knowledge can also succeed, because those knowledge could be gained from working experience. For instance, another friend of mine called Mary is really good at adapting new environment. She has took an accounting job but she majored engineering in the university. However, after quickly adapted to the new environment, she soon found someone to work with, and with the help of that warmhearted person, she is now an expert in accounting. Thanks for her ability to get used to new career, she succeeded in the field that was once she unfamiliar with. Therefore, knowledge is not so important as adaptability.

Admittedly, knowledge does have an important mean to the success of one’s career, because nobody can succeed in something that is totally unknown to him or her. However, compared with those knowledge, the adapting ability is much more important because what the company want is that the new employee quickly get used to the working environment and increase their working ability including those knowledge step by step.

To sum up, with the combination of those reasons stated above, I believe the adapting is more important than the knowledge for the success of a job.
perclecy 发表于 2014-11-3 21:53:37 | 显示全部楼层
第一段However, others hold a different point of view, they believe the knowledge is more important. 句子分局有误,要不就是断句用句号再另起一句。
第二段最后一句两个因此有问题: Thus, with the consideration of Mark’s example, the person who cannot get used of new environment may never succeed. Therefore, the adaptive capacity is more important.
倒数第二段显得很空洞,一般admittedly开头都是作为让步的,都是放到第二段说,先让步后转折。放在这里不太好,而且没有举例,这是大忌。倒数第二段仍然用third开头,再想出一个例子来,照之前的套路写下来,感觉good是没问题,但是你现在这个写的估计就fair了

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uiucbigfan 发表于 2014-11-29 18:52:39 | 显示全部楼层
楼主是个二笔
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achilleson 发表于 2014-11-29 19:40:20 | 显示全部楼层
典型的Chinglish
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