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[文书-求改] ** 申金工 中介写的文书 求修改

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mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 12:50:21 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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Personal Statement.鐣欏璁哄潧-涓浜-涓夊垎鍦
-google 1point3acres
If I am asked who has influenced me significantly, the answer would be my class advisor when I first entered Zhejiang University of Science and Technology. Specialized in Financial Mathematics, he has enlightened me on SOPhisticated study in this area, sharing his insights by discussions and books about risk management and financial institutions. With his encouragement and support, I decided on Financial Mathematics as my undergraduate major in my first year of university, and made up my mind to continue study on graduate level and take it as the focus of my future career in sophomore year.

Whether for upgrading my academic cognition or excelling in my future profession as a quant, an M.S. in Mathematical Finance from Rutgers University will equip me with invaluable knowledge and skills that I'll be able to leverage in my professional endeavors.

While studying in specialization of Information and Computing Sciences, with the stream of Financial Mathematics, I have worked diligently to strengthen my quantitative thought pattern by learning courses such as Mathematical Analysis, Ordinary Differential Equations, Mathematic Statistics, Mathematical Modeling, Data Analysis and Numerical Method, etc. My perspective was extended further into the financial realm with guidance from courses such as Financial Investment Analysis, Insurance Actuarial Science and Financial Mathematics, which allow me to apply financial calculations to case studies.

Despite learning theoretically, I have also facilitated myself with practical skills of financial mathematics. In my project for the Curriculum Design of Financial Mathematics, I collected certain amount of data of General Electric Company’s stock from YAHOO FINACE, and by building several different stock models and writing programs with Hull-White, C, Binomial model and black-scholes, made predictions of the future developing trend of the stock. This helped me obtain stronger ability to apply mathematical tools for financial analysis, and intensified my interest in the concept of big data analysis. 鏉ユ簮涓浜.涓夊垎鍦拌鍧.

I was also able to use these skills in another project for the course Actuarial Science, to design an insurance product with the service varying by ages. It helped me form a better understanding of the financial derivative products of the industry, understand more about the group work incorporating data processing, programming and computing, and also challenged me to make strategic decisions based on the results of my analysis.

Decision making in the financial area is very intriguing to me. Working as a quant to support a company’s executives to make decisions is my short-term goal, yet my long-term goal is to lead a financial organization that designs financial products.

To realize my personal and professional goals, I've also made it a priority to actively participate in campus activities, take on leadership roles, and hone my talents. As the class monitor and assistant advisor for freshmen, I represent my fellow students and discuss ways to diversify their experience on and off campus. Furthermore, I have regularly worked as the director of our School’s Department of Publicity and organized artistic and environmental-oriented activities that not only enriched campus life but also promoted awareness of environmental protection. Taking on these additional responsibilities helped me to clearly understand my strengths as an organizer and coordinator.. 鐗涗汉浜戦泦,涓浜╀笁鍒嗗湴

However, leading a class or a student organization is much different from being at the helm of a business. Students are drawn together by a shared interest in and passion for an organization. A corporate entity favors efficiency and profit, and conscientious management and an inviting corporate culture creates value for the company.

Understanding these key differences, I have also taken every opportunity to familiarize myself with the industry by taking part in summer social practice. I participated in the financial researches carried out in Zhejiang Yuzhang Printing and Dyeing Co.,Ltd., Zhejiang Xinxin Printing and Dyeing Co.,Ltd., and Shaoxing Textile Trade Center. These visits and researches boost my analytical skills through practice and cognition of how a company can be lead and managed to maximize efficiency and profits.

These explorations initiated my decision to pursue Rutgers University's Mathematical Finance program, as it corresponds well with my academic and professional goals. The curriculum is designed to systematize students' theoretical knowledge and refine their decision-making skills. Courses on numerical analysis and financial modeling will equip me with more sophisticated analytical skills, while the introduction of concepts such as risk management and software engineering will fine-tune my thought patterns. Further, I'll be well-prepared to enter the professional world after taking advantage of rich resources on campus such as the Quant Careers system for summer internship opportunities to consolidate what I learn in the classroom through practical experience. This will better enable me to serve as a leader capable of making difficult decisions in professional, real-world settings.

I am excited by the vast career opportunities that a degree in Mathematical Finance can provide. An M.S. in Mathematical Finance from Rutgers University will equip me with a keen ability to address the challenges I'll face. I am motivated, organized and committed, and believe my previous academic, extracurricular and professional experiences make me an asset to the program.
 楼主| mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 21:47:57 | 显示全部楼层
victorsterling 发表于 2014-12-31 21:44
是这样的,很多学校的essay不是让你随便发挥自己写的,而是会有专门的问题让你自己回答,可能对于某一个 ...
. 1point 3acres 璁哄潧
嗯嗯好的谢谢 我看到过有学校给定题目写essay 那我这篇ps 有什么大问题不,我现在自己感觉有点啰嗦但是不知道怎么修改. more info on 1point3acres.com

ps:给大米在哪里给 我是新手嘿嘿
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 楼主| mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 12:51:22 | 显示全部楼层
没research, 没project,没高GPA
哭死了
求各位大神帮忙看看
我自己感觉是有点啰嗦 不知道怎么改了
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happyxujin 发表于 2014-12-31 13:37:21 | 显示全部楼层
中介不给改?
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 楼主| mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 13:41:55 | 显示全部楼层

改地,我就是不知道哪里需要他们再修改
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terryt 发表于 2014-12-31 14:23:48 | 显示全部楼层
求问中介哪家强啊。。。
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victorsterling 发表于 2014-12-31 20:51:48 | 显示全部楼层
申学校的时候再具体看吧,每家要求都是不一样的,都要再重新改。不是每家都用同一个PS,然后随便改几句话就行的。
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 楼主| mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 21:36:49 | 显示全部楼层
victorsterling 发表于 2014-12-31 20:51
申学校的时候再具体看吧,每家要求都是不一样的,都要再重新改。不是每家都用同一个PS,然后随便改几句话就 ...

能否具体给我讲讲?主要看每个学校哪方面来改?
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victorsterling 发表于 2014-12-31 21:44:03 | 显示全部楼层
mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 21:36
能否具体给我讲讲?主要看每个学校哪方面来改?

是这样的,很多学校的essay不是让你随便发挥自己写的,而是会有专门的问题让你自己回答,可能对于某一个学校,你这篇文章就完全用不上了。所以还是先去要申请的学校官网上看看他们是具体怎么要求的吧。或者先注册进入他们的申请系统里面,那里你就能看到PS的具体要求了。.鏈枃鍘熷垱鑷1point3acres璁哄潧
PS:楼主觉得有用就赏点大米吧,不扣你自己的积分的。

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victorsterling 发表于 2014-12-31 21:52:49 | 显示全部楼层
mimitongxue 发表于 2014-12-31 21:47
嗯嗯好的谢谢 我看到过有学校给定题目写essay 那我这篇ps 有什么大问题不,我现在自己感觉有点啰嗦但是不 ...
. From 1point 3acres bbs
右下角的评分就是啊!祝楼主拿到好offer,我之前申了不少MSF,也在陆家嘴的券商呆过一段时间,有什么问题欢迎咨询我。
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