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[PS/CV] ps求指正!转cs 申请non-thesis master

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kiwifairy 发表于 2015-1-8 01:06:03 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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各位地友好!我是一个临床医学在转cs申请master的新农!正在申请SFU non-thesis CS master,我在ps里主要描述了自己将医学与计算机结合的一步步尝试。因为是转专业,根不正苗不红,还请各位大牛多多指教!
.鏈枃鍘熷垱鑷1point3acres璁哄潧
Statement of Purpose
Shaping the Future of Health by Computer Science

Programmers and doctors share the same gene: they are the born problem-solvers. That is why I could transfer my medical practice experience into computing science smoothly. Previously in hospital, I treated patients through this process: 1) formulating diagnosis and treatment using abstraction from complex details, 2) implementing and validating the solution, and 3) applying to other patients when needed. Later, I found this “diagnostic reasoning” could be translated into computing science with the word “computational thinking”. Because of my dual interests in computing science and healthcare, I have always been trying to find common grounds of the two disciplines, and solve medical problems in computational way.

. 涓浜-涓夊垎-鍦帮紝鐙鍙戝竷
My first attempt began four years ago during the clinical internship. There I noted many physicians had to take considerable time and effort to access the latest medical advances. Consequently, I built a non-profit website, Bazhua.org, to bring up-to-date clinical research information to doctors in a concise and comprehensible way. Within half a year, my team of authors rocketed to 26 doctors. By monitoring website metrics using Google analytics, I led my team to create data-driven contents, and the website gained 5000+ unique visitors per week. Our story was reported by Wenhui Newspaper, a prominent Chinese media. And we published our first book in 2013.

I used LAMP and wrote front-end code in building Bazhua website. Soon I realized systematic CS study will be both interesting and necessary for me. So far, I have acquired thirteen online course certificates. These courses cover various fields, including Programming in Python and Java, Algorithms, Database, Machine Learning, Statistics, Data Management, etc. In the course projects, I used Python and pylab to implement agglomerative hierarchical clustering algorithm; I also  programmed and visualized stochastic simulation of patient and virus population dynamics. My mood was as excited as Christopher Columbus discovered the New World. It opened my eyes to the state-of-art technology.

Subsequently, to put my knowledge into practice, I joined Beijing Henizaiyiqi Technologies Inc., one of the leading mobile health companies in China. As Product Director, I collaborated closely with software engineers to develop mobile applications that enable more doctor-patient interactions after treatment. I also analyzed APPs’ backend database with the hope of revealing disease patterns. I used k-means algorithm to cluster the dataset of 136 Motor Neuron Disease patients based on their demography, symptoms, and progression variables. However, the sensitivity of results to initial condition stopped me from getting meaningful disease subtypes, which makes me realize that I need to receive further training in computing science.
. 鐗涗汉浜戦泦,涓浜╀笁鍒嗗湴
With my doctoral academic training, constant enthusiasm for computational technology, and unique experience in applying CS to healthcare, I am developing my career as a digital health innovator and medical informatics professional. To fulfill this, a deeper exploration on CS is indispensable. The MSc program (course option) in CS at SFU is my ideal choice. I am intrigued by the industry-oriented courses on a wide range of CS topics carried out by your top-notch faculties. My preparation and dedication in CS enable me to study at a more advanced level; Furthermore, my distinctive background and career pursuit could also help to diversify your program. Through my master study, I will enhance my CS skills, and establish a solid foundation for the goal of using computer science to achieve better healthcare for individuals, and shape the future of health.

thinkache 发表于 2015-1-8 04:14:15 | 显示全部楼层
However, the sensitivity of results to initial condition stopped me from getting meaningful disease subtypes, which makes me realize that I need to receive further training in computing science.

random restart多次或者用kmeans++就可以了。。。。不觉得这是一个好原因. visit 1point3acres.com for more.

我觉得整体思路很好 但是这一段关于CS的还可以多写一些 这一段有点草还是。。。。. 鍥磋鎴戜滑@1point 3 acres

.鐣欏璁哄潧-涓浜-涓夊垎鍦
申请加油!!!!一定能去理想的学校的~~!!
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 楼主| kiwifairy 发表于 2015-1-8 05:41:58 | 显示全部楼层
thinkache 发表于 2015-1-8 04:14
However, the sensitivity of results to initial condition stopped me from getting meaningful disease  ...

非常感谢thinkache的指正、挑错和鼓励!!!满满的正能量

我把这句话改成了:However, the limited variables stopped me from getting results of clinical importance. Therefore, I am collaborating with physicians to collect specific variables for this underfitting problem, meanwhile seeking opportunities to improve my skills.
不知是否好一些?
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thinkache 发表于 2015-1-8 07:42:44 | 显示全部楼层
哈哈不客气啊!我觉得这样不错!

我觉得这一段可以适当再写长一点。。。具体一定。。。就是遇到什么困难啊,如何解决困难之类的。。。

你的PS有两页了么已经?读起来好像没有两页。。。顺便问一句。。。。SFU是Simon Fraser University还是University of San Francisco?
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 楼主| kiwifairy 发表于 2015-1-8 07:56:21 | 显示全部楼层
thinkache 发表于 2015-1-8 07:42
哈哈不客气啊!我觉得这样不错!
.1point3acres缃
我觉得这一段可以适当再写长一点。。。具体一定。。。就是遇到什么困难 ...

我申请的是Simon Fraser University,他们家ps要求一页~不过我已经把之前删的话加到其他版本的ps里了:)
再次叩谢大牛指点!
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liusicong999 发表于 2015-1-8 08:12:24 | 显示全部楼层
LZ已经来加拿大了吗
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 楼主| kiwifairy 发表于 2015-1-8 08:50:06 | 显示全部楼层
liusicong999 发表于 2015-1-8 08:12
LZ已经来加拿大了吗

嗯是啊~~~~~~
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liusicong999 发表于 2015-1-8 11:30:08 | 显示全部楼层
kiwifairy 发表于 2015-1-8 08:50. more info on 1point3acres.com
嗯是啊~~~~~~

你之前有相关的CS 基础吗?不知道不是CA 背景的人容不容易被SFU录取
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liusicong999 发表于 2015-1-8 11:34:15 | 显示全部楼层
kiwifairy 发表于 2015-1-8 08:50
嗯是啊~~~~~~

你之前有相关的CS 基础吗?不知道不是CA 背景的人容不容易被SFU录取
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thinkache 发表于 2015-1-8 16:31:14 | 显示全部楼层
不客气不客气 楼主背景很强一定没问题的啦!如果还有什么能帮上忙的就请留言给我吧~~ 这种转专业不成问题的 已经做了那么多精心准备~
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redsilence 发表于 2015-1-8 16:51:20 | 显示全部楼层
楼主是本科毕业还是已经读到了博士?doctoral training一般指博士水平的研究生学习,如果想说医学训练,要用medical training
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