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[文书-求改] 2016fallPS初稿求修改!!!!!

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皇子 发表于 2015-8-24 16:07:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式


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Thisstatement is being submitted in support of my application for acceptance intoyour master program.
“Aslong as there is a day, I will never give up!” I said to myself with cervicaltraction apparatus in the hospital. I met most horrible traffic accident in mylife one month before the entrance examination for college-----the mostimportant examination for every Chinese high school student. I continued preparingfor the test with the help of numerous painkiller. It was the first time that Irealized death is not so far away as I used to believe. The horrible experiencestruck me that I should spare all my limited life time on the people I love andthe things that worth.
Thoughdifficult, I finally passed the raining days and enrolled by HuazhongUniversity of Science and Technology ——a prestigious university in China whichis famous for its extraordinary engineering ability.
Atthe time I entered into the university, I did not know much about informationtechnology. My parents had chosen communication engineering as my major which Iam now so glad that they did so. So I embarked on my journey of electronicengineering study.
Withthe strong desire to cherish and fulfill my lifetime, my performance in all thespecialty-related coursework not only enabled me to secure the highest GPAranking in my class but also made me the top 1% students in our department. Iwon National motivational scholarships and was awarded the "triple-astudent" honor. To broaden my vision and knowledge, in the third year inuniversity, I went to National Chiao Tung University as an exchange student forone semester. What I have harvested is not only the kind and harmony atmospherein Taiwan but the independent and relative substantive study spirits. Here Imet my first tutor jfc who guided me to the field of wireless communication.As soon as I expressed my interest in wireless communication, he beganto guide me to prepare for my future research. He told me that the best way toinstill an appreciation for the field was through active research andmeaningful laboratory work. I had a regular meeting with him every week toshare what I have learned and thought. At the same time, under his guidance, Igot hang of the ability of literature search and paper writing and began to gettouch with academic-related research. What’s more, with the improvedunderstanding of the field, I am more determined to go on the road of wirelesscommunication than ever before.
Motivatedby strong desire to begin my research career, I entered the Internet TechnologyEngineering Center in our university. As an undergraduate, I began as a laymanand learned little by little. I took part in a project mainly focus on the privacyleakage problem based on the LBS application. Together with my tutor andpartners, we proposed algorithms in two dimension which was tested to beaccurately determine the object location. The whole process was not as fluentas I have expected. I met many problems and bugs theoretically and practically.In order to reduce the detecting error, I consulted a huge amount of technicalliterature, solicited professional guidance from specialists in the field,conducted again and again.  We did realtests by which proves to be available. We also propose defensive measures toprotect the users’ privacy. Based on the foundation of all the test results, Iwrote my first research paper----“*****” which was published on ***.
Asmuch as I had loved wireless communication before, my experience at thelaboratory convinced me that I had found the right vocation that is worthspending my time on.
Myacademic standing was so strong that I had the opportunity to attend thegraduate school of our university without the normally mandatory admissionexams. That was a privilege available to only the very best graduatingstudents. But I chose to give up the chance. Because I want to undertakegraduate studies in a quality program in the United States in order to improveself-cultivation.
I want to spend my life on the things I love and wirelesscommunication is the one.
Aimingto gain insightful angle of view, I need more training in a broader theoreticalframework which is necessary for me to pursue further development in the fieldof wireless communication.
Iwould like to enter into a Master's program that would lead me into deeperstudies later on. This, Ibelieve, can only be accomplished in a quality graduate program like yours.With the training that goes into such an advanced degree, I think I will be ableto take great strides towards fulfilling my professional objective. When I do,I think I will be standing on the cutting-edge of the information technology.Iam sure that, with *** seasoned guidance, I will be able to significantlyenrich my knowledge, enhance my expertise, and sharpen my research skills.
If Iam accepted, I will spare no effort to chase my dream of becoming a leadingscientist in China's efforts to develop its IT industries.
. Waral 鍗氬鏈夋洿澶氭枃绔,
 楼主| 皇子 发表于 2015-8-24 16:08:31 | 显示全部楼层
不知道怎么发上来格式好奇怪 这里面下划线的都是暂时写着的 之后要改
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q8099086 发表于 2015-8-24 16:24:47 | 显示全部楼层
皇子 发表于 2015-8-24 16:08
不知道怎么发上来格式好奇怪 这里面下划线的都是暂时写着的 之后要改

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Meetyourmaster 发表于 2015-8-24 17:08:19 | 显示全部楼层
上来父母帮你选专业,,这个绝对忌讳啊 !    总体感觉是,lz文笔不错,但干货(做的项目,paper,对所学领域的deep understanding)却没有多少,所以我建议lz就是要具体 具体 具体 ,把自己做的学的东西展示出来,而评价的事(Is my academic standing that strong?)交给学校、教授。  举个例子,“with the improved understanding of the field”----what understanding??    " I consulted a huge amount of technicalliterature, solicited professional guidance from specialists in the field,conducted again and again"----so what did you learn?? 我觉得这才是学校想看到的

补充内容 (2015-8-24 17:11):
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Susan627 发表于 2015-11-23 21:49:23 | 显示全部楼层
感觉中间对学业成绩和honor提及的有点多了,既然有成绩单和CV, 个人感觉不需要再在PS中过多提及,一句话带过就好吧。


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fuyanjie123 发表于 2016-1-6 13:13:07 | 显示全部楼层
可以更加仔细地描述一下自己做的research 以及自己是怎么想的啦 之类的
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