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[T作文-求改] 马上要考试了独立作文才开始求修改TPO1 跪送大米TAT

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敬哥哥哦哈哟 发表于 2016-8-6 17:08:42 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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尝试的是IT DEPENDS式的论述结构,列举了主要的影响因素,心里很虚不知道这个算不算REASON。
其次是逻辑自己也分不出来好坏,跪求指点TAT。
哭着去自己一个个改句式和单词了……
跪求地里大神修改,作为交换我私信给你GRE327我的备考资料和玉米TAT求求大家。

Do U agree or disagree with the following statement?
At university and colleges,sports and social activities are just as important as classes and should receive equal financial support.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
  Recently,a debate among an increasing number of people is whether educational institution should give equal financial support to sports and social activities as what they have done to classes.Of course,the importance of academic program such as classes cannot be stressed more.Meanwhile,on no account can we ignore the significance and advantage of sports and social activities.More financial budget on classes can improve academic level of both students and pedagogues through bettering classroom basic instruction or recruiting SOPhisticated professors,however,relatively added input in sport and social activities can not only build students body but also prepare their essential sociability in future career.
  When it comes to the question whether we should put those two side in an even financial budget,as far as I concerned,it depends on the actual situation in educational institution,in other words,input-output ratio.In fact,I would assert more specifically that the reason to  choose of two sides is due to the nature of institution or it's financial condition,or both.
  Consider the nature of institution first.The philosophy of schooling varies form college to college,university to university.Take two different university for example,Beijing Sports University and Beijing University, while the former focuses on physical fitness of students more,the latter puts more attention in academic affairs than in the former.Can you reach a decision that BU is much more prosperity in reaching its goal of schooling than BSU?Hardly.The schooling aims of both university are providing enough professionals to society,due to the different professionals they provide,Beijing Sports University ought to inject a large part of funds to sports and activities by developing more gymnasium,social platform or something else,but Beijing University is supposed to invest money in classes for its own benefits.The huge disparities between them could be clarified clearly.What percentage in which sports and social activities should occupy are partly determined by the formulation of the school's mission,that is to say,unite theory with practice.
  Turn from institution nature to financial status.Although many people tend to live under the tradition illusion that improving classes quality is the main stream when it is around the corner of education financial target,whereas what much more significant is the return on asset.Take a microcosmic perspective for instance,also in Beijing University,students there are always buried in heavy pressure from study,in such cases,take effectiveness into consideration,just a little more budget in sports and social activities is bound to ameliorate young people's potential mental uneasiness,which is far below the equal position,that is 50% to 50% proportion,the argument in question indicates.Or analysis the balance of input and output in macroscopic view,on the one hand,a well-developed classes input like introducing talents into colleges or universities,without doubt,will enhance their hard strength by increasing comprehensive research competence,additionally,students therefore can obtain greater high-level academic resource beyond question.On the other hand,student's health and interpersonal connection is critical to  their academic success,continuing cost for sports or social activities,in some degree,are less,requiring only a few par-time staff and maintenance routines for sports and occasionally networking events for social activities.For the most part,student are eager to organize their own sports and social events quite independently of the school,which inevitably takes up no money supply from the school account.From discussion above,in concern over the financial status,lower input in sport and social activities and higher input in classes can meet the needs of both efficiency of money allocation and balance of input and output.
  In sum,how to distribute fund between sports and social activities as well as classes depends on the both two standard,intrinsic requirement of schooling and extrinsic constraint of assets.Whenever education institution make up their mind to put funding decision into practice,practical realities should be taken into consideration and based on.

Jerry19960912 发表于 2016-9-24 16:22:55 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Jerry19960912 于 2016-9-24 16:35 编辑

Do U agree or disagree with the following statement?
At university and colleges,sports and social activities are just as important as classes and should receive equal financial support.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Recently, thers is a debate among an increasing number of people about whether educational institution should give equal financial support to sports and social activities as what they have done to classes. Of course,the importance of academic program such as classes cannot be stressed more. Meanwhile,on no account can we ignore the significance and advantage of sports and social activities. More financial budget on classes can improve academic level on both students and pedagogues through bettering classroom basic instruction or recruiting SOPhisticated professors, however, relatively added input in sport and social activities can not only build students' bodies but also prepare their essential sociabilities in future career.

When it comes to whether we should put those two side in an even financial budget, as far as I concerned, it depends on the actual situation in educational institution, in other words, input-output ratio. In fact, I would assert more specifically that the reason to  choose of two sides is due to the nature of institution or it's financial condition,or both.

Consider the nature of institution first. The philosophy of schooling varies form college to college. Take two different universities for example,Beijing Sports University and Beijing University, while the former focuses on physical fitness more,the latter puts more attention on academic affairs than the former.Can you reach a decision that BU is much more prosperity in reaching its goal of schooling than BSU?Hardly.The schooling aims of both university are providing enough professionals to society,due to the different professionals they provide,Beijing Sports University ought to inject a large part of funds to sports and activities by developing more gymnasium,social platform or something else,but Beijing University is supposed to invest money in classes for its own benefits.The huge disparities between them could be clarified clearly.What percentage in which sports and social activities should occupy are partly determined by the formulation of the school's mission,that is to say,unite theory with practice.

Turn from institution nature to financial status. Although many people tend to live under the tradition illusion that improving classes quality is the main stream when it is around the corner of education financial target,whereas what much more significant is the return on asset.Take a microcosmic perspective for instance,also in Beijing University,students there are always buried in heavy pressure from study,in such cases,take effectiveness into consideration,just a little more budget in sports and social activities is bound to ameliorate young people's potential mental uneasiness,which is far below the equal position,that is 50% to 50% proportion,the argument in question indicates.Or analysis the balance of input and output in macroscopic view,on the one hand,a well-developed classes input like introducing talents into colleges or universities,without doubt,will enhance their hard strength by increasing comprehensive research competence,additionally,students therefore can obtain greater high-level academic resource beyond question.On the other hand,student's health and interpersonal connection is critical to  their academic success,continuing cost for sports or social activities,in some degree,are less,requiring only a few par-time staff and maintenance routines for sports and occasionally networking events for social activities.For the most part,student are eager to organize their own sports and social events quite independently of the school,which inevitably takes up no money supply from the school account.From discussion above,in concern over the financial status,lower input in sport and social activities and higher input in classes can meet the needs of both efficiency of money allocation and balance of input and output.

To sum up ,how to distribute fund between sports and social activities as well as classes depends on the both two standard,intrinsic requirement of schooling and extrinsic constraint of assets.Whenever education institution make up their mind to put funding decision into practice,practical realities should be taken into consideration and based on.
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