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[文书-求改] 17Fall申MIS**PS求批!

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Sarlink 发表于 2016-11-1 14:48:30 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式


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无科研,无实习,所以你们应该知道PS有多虚了吧....-google 1point3acres
本科专业比较广,所以在文中一直强调的是自己的interdisciplinary background所带来的benefits,毕竟MIS本身就是个交叉学科。
之前找过一个美国的法律系妹子改过一次,结果改的....非常之吹逼....我自己之后又修了修,但总觉得很虚,因为我们学校商科很偏向管理基本上没有做什么技术活儿,所以求大家帮忙看看给点建议之类的。. 牛人云集,一亩三分地

补充内容 (2016-11-1 14:53):. 围观我们@1point 3 acres
 楼主| Sarlink 发表于 2016-11-1 14:55:08 | 显示全部楼层
Having completed my undergraduate degree in business, I was always aware of the role technology played in the world. After all, there isn’t an industry on the globe that hasn’t been affected by or doesn’t rely on technology. The technology field began pulling at me more and more as I realized the boundless impact in the world.  As I prepared to graduate and take my next steps in life, that pull got stronger and stronger. I soon found myself focusing as much on the information aspects of my business courses as the business courses themselves. I quickly discovered that the best fit for my educational backgrounds, along with my personality, was a career in information science. I was first introduced to information science’s specialty in my undergraduate business classes. While it caught my eye, I didn’t truly see how essential it could be until I started working my way through other business classes. Each modality, be it accounting, marketing, operations, or management all had a foundational aspect based in information nowadays. It became hard to ignore how great of a fit it was for me.
. 1point 3acres 论坛
Information science, especially with a data-centric specialization, is a discipline that benefits from versatility. Possessing a number of diverse perspectives and strong proficiencies in technical skills that range from statistical modeling to basic Java coding, I realized that my unique background, once perceived as a weakness, was actually my greatest strength. I quickly immersed myself in everything IS-related. This led to one of my biggest accomplishments as an undergraduate. I had the opportunity to collaborate, code and build a database and a search engine for the Faculty Senate at the University of AAA. This project increased my confidence as it intersected where my experience was the strongest: between business services and information technologies. My versatility served our team well, and I was often looked to as a technical consultant and decision maker when faced with challenges in bringing these two worlds together. In the end I was able to help our team to successfully build the bridges we needed to create such a robust database.

I once had the misperception that those whose education is concentrated primarily in engineering field are more likely to be prepared for graduate education in information science, especially when compared to someone with a rather diversified background. I now firmly believe that a student whose experience consists of a less traditional structure but still features necessary IT foundations can contribute to the field in many ways, especially in industries that rely more and more on big data to drive effective decisions. In a world where technology is dominant and advancing at breakneck speeds, it is a great advantage to have knowledgeable people who can draw upon a variety of experiences and knowledge to solve problems multiple technology problems quickly and effectively. I am convinced that I would be an asset to University of BBB, and that the diversity and high-quality education will make me a great pioneer in the information industry.
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补充内容 (2016-11-1 15:04):
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Demostronger 发表于 2016-11-1 14:56:49 | 显示全部楼层
Mis 项目都是要求500字以下吗?楼主如果写的是general版的是不是应该稍微写多点啊?不然言之无物。。
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 楼主| Sarlink 发表于 2016-11-1 15:01:34 | 显示全部楼层
Demostronger 发表于 2016-11-1 14:56
Mis 项目都是要求500字以下吗?楼主如果写的是general版的是不是应该稍微写多点啊?不然言之无物。。

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空空道友 发表于 2016-11-1 16:16:39 | 显示全部楼层
一般SOP不都得加上why this program之类的吗。。  
看看学校是不是便于就业,周围大公司给我提供XXXX的机会;有牛逼的教授可以带我飞;学校提供XXX的机会有利于我加深对领域的理解;学校的课程很好,能让我学很多,弥补我xxxx的不足,  这样写一些就长了。。. Waral 博客有更多文章,

另外中间你那段项目经历再展开一下把。。 你这写的太流水账了。。
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 楼主| Sarlink 发表于 2016-11-1 18:08:49 | 显示全部楼层
空空道友 发表于 2016-11-1 16:16
一般SOP不都得加上why this program之类的吗。。  
看看学校是不是便于就业,周围大公司给我提供XXXX的机 ...
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pouh 发表于 2016-11-1 23:58:09 | 显示全部楼层
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 楼主| Sarlink 发表于 2016-11-2 00:00:10 | 显示全部楼层
pouh 发表于 2016-11-1 23:58
同申mis,楼主我建议你要不仔细考虑一下在学校里做过的coursework有哪些和mis相关可以来说的,说的高大上一 ...

嗯嗯,现在就准备好好扩写一下第二段的project,再打磨下跟interdisciplinary这个品质呼应起来,毕竟那玩意儿做了一个学期还算是有点儿货 2333333 同加油!
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pouh 发表于 2016-11-2 00:03:57 | 显示全部楼层
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lemonb 发表于 2016-11-3 16:19:36 | 显示全部楼层
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 楼主| Sarlink 发表于 2016-11-3 23:15:37 | 显示全部楼层
lemonb 发表于 2016-11-3 16:19
感觉主要问题在于一直在说自己对这个专业的想法和理解,但是没有写出具体的东西,比如那个business课到底是 ...
. From 1point 3acres bbs
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