|关注一亩三分地微博：题目：Getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends of your own age.
Everyone needs advice at times, and most people seek their peers for help(seek后面好像应该加sth., 改成seek help from their peers或者turn to their peers for help). However, I think it is far better to receive advice from older friends than from peers, for the mistakes that older friends have made and the more experience they own.peer只是表示同类人，不一定能表示是同龄人，所以要把第一段里面第一个peer改成peers of our own age.注意TOEFL作文rater是看不到我们写的独立写作题目的，阅卷的时候是很多不同题目的作文混在一起批的，如果在topic sentence里不指明是“同龄人”，后面考官读起来会感到confused
To begin with, older friends have made mistakes, so they are capable of helping their younger friends avoid the similar ones. Thus it is usually wise to consult older friends for their opinions before making an important decision. For instance, before my last school year senior year of college, I had to make an important decision about the plan of my summer vacation my summer vacation plan尽量不用of表示修饰成分，会显得略生硬. I asked my older friend Li Lei 不是Hanmeimei 嘛哈哈 who had attended a college. Then he said that working experience is indispensable for me and hence persuaded me to find an internship on summer vacation. Once in the past, he had traveled with his girl friendgirlfriend on the last summer vacation of college. Then in his last year of college, he had a hard time to find a full-time job because of the lack of hands-on 好词，学到了experience. Therefore, his mistake reminded me to avoid making one myself. 非常好的结尾句，这句很有必要:)
Besides, older people often possess more real-world experience好词, so their advice is more valuable. If you have a friend who is older than you, there is a good chance that they have solved the problem which is similar to yours. For instance, when deciding which university to apply for, my brother asked his older friend in a university where he should study. His older friend advised him to take into consideration the total expense and hence recommended several inexpensive colleges. Thanks to his older friends’s advice, my brother finally attended a college that he could afford by doing some part-time jobs. Thus, he didn’t have to worry about having a heavy student debt “债台高筑”有很多有趣的说法，比如plunge deep into debts, run up one's loans, debt-infested life等等，可以尝试一下in the future.
Admittedly, sometimes older friends may not totally realize your situation before giving offering you advice. OneOn the one hand, they may analysisanalyze your problems based on previous socialsociety background which could lead to biased advise. On the other hand, they may neglect the specific details of your dilemmas, and thus they could not focus on the key points of your problems. Therefore, 改成In this case getting advice from older friends doesn’t work. Nevertheless, by communicating with your older friends and explaining your circumstances thoroughly, such negative situations can be avoided.非常好的结尾句，这句也非常有必要:)
All in all, I think older friends end up giving better advice because they are veterans in solving problems 好词and have more experience in makingcorrecting mistakes than you. Therefore, if you ever want some advice, just ask ask your older friends what to do.
文章里面有注意paraphrase，但是这两个词older, attend出现了多次，有点重复，可以分别替换：senior/aged/elderly，get matriculated/get enrolled/be admitted等等。总之选词还可以再精妙一点。
好像表示“所以”的词(Thus Therefore hence)用得有点多，仔细感受一下可以发现有几处其实上下句之间并没有因果逻辑，你可能只是想对段落做一个总结而已。