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[T-经验] 回馈+为申请攒人品:T104的经验和感受(偏重写作)

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Ror 发表于 2013-12-4 16:33:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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本帖最后由 Ror 于 2013-12-9 10:14 编辑

11月9号考完的,总分104,读28,听24,说23,写29。现在在申请过程中。一方面回馈地里,一方面分享一些心得攒人品。

复习时间是8月、9月、10月(10月其实基本是在复习GRE)。一共考了3次托福。


总体上的感觉是:建议先适当准备一下GRE的阅读和写作,因为后面准备GRE的时候发现GRE的阅读和写作是能助力托福的。


关于阅读:
1. 一定要在电脑上练习,必须熟悉屏幕阅读。我第一次考托福阅读直接蒙了,因为不熟悉屏幕阅读,和平时的纸质材料阅读感觉完全不一样,速度和效率受到了极大的影响。第一次阅读只考了24分。
2. 建议练习一下杨鹏的《GRE & GMAT阅读难句教程》。托福中虽然很少有GRE那般变态的复杂长句,但是把阅读长难句的关口打通后,读起托福阅读来一定会更顺畅。强烈推荐!
3. 建议读一下《GRE阅读39+3全攻略》里面的第2章"文章结构"。毕竟托福和GRE考察的都是学术文章,所以在文章的结构上一定程度上是相通的,在阅读的时候尽快掌握一篇文章以及一个段落的结构,可以帮助你整体把握住文章。
4. 《GRE阅读39+3全攻略》里面的第4章"z做一篇完整的阅读"也建议读一下,尤其是“做标记”那个小节。说实话,考场上做笔记的话会拖慢阅读速度的(我做阅读就偏慢,考场上时间紧巴巴的,基本要用完1整个小时)。但是我认为这个里面介绍的方法是真得能在以后的阅读中帮助你快速掌握一篇文章的。另外从应试的角度来说,适当做笔记,同时整体把握文章,会比较方便做最后的主旨题。
5. 我还建议练习一下GRE的填空题,因为填空题需要非常强的逻辑思维,而这种逻辑思维即便在做托福阅读的时候也是有帮助的,可以快速明白一个段落中句子之间的关系(例如是逻辑等价还是逻辑取反),于是能更准确地理解作者的主旨和态度。
6. 总结一下:我认为#1和#2是可以较快提高应试成绩的,即便时间不很长,也非常建议做一下。#3、#4和#5是可以从根本上提高阅读能力的,但需要慢功夫,所以时间不够的话可以考虑不做(毕竟我们是要考托福而不是GRE)。


关于听力:
1. 听力考的3次都比较悲剧,第一次22,第二次17(状态不好彻底考砸),第三次24。教训只有一个:听力一定要及早并且保质保量地练习,才会有根本的提高!我在准备托福一开始也看到别人不断强调要及早练习听力,结果自己眼高手低没有好好对待,最终3次考试都是听力拉分了(口语中国人普遍不够好,所以考不了很高倒是也可以理解)。其实如果我认真对待的话,2个月的时间+我自己的底子是完全可以考出相当高的分数的,可惜啊都怪自己态度不端正……
3. 强烈建议把TPO听熟听烂!我第二次考托福的时候,有一个section就是以前听过的TPO里的一个section。
4. 具体实施的办法我就不多说了,推荐地里其它同学的做法:《听力22到30分经验:问答录》5. 再推荐一个听力成绩还不够高的同学的提高方法:《我的托福听力从16分到26分方法》


关于口语:
1. 一定要对着电脑练习!我在和真人用英语对话的时候并没有什么障碍,但是第一次对着电脑的时候瞠目结舌,一个词都说不出来,所以一定要及早熟悉对着电脑讲话的情形。
2. 我不太认为口音会导致分数降低。看Official Guide光盘上给的高分例子里面,可以听出即便是高分口语,也有很重的外国口音。当然,前提是你的口音不会影响你发音的准确性,让听者能理解。比如黄西的口语中文口音很重,但至少每个词的发音是正确的,所以美国人也都能听懂。如果你的口音已经重到影响发音了,那就必须刻苦练习。参考这姑娘的帖子:《托福113的欢乐历程之旅》,人家几乎把自己的口语推倒从零开始一点一点练习,最后口语28分,就可以看出来什么叫“一分耕耘一分收获”。
3. 我工作的前3年都是和美国客户打交道的,虽然口语机会没有那么多,但也是客户那边和公司里公认的口语口音还比较地道的,而且也很少有Chinglish。但我3次托福的口语分别是22、24、23分,始终没有突破24分大关。所以我认为即便你的口音上没有太大问题,也未必就能拿高分。
4. 所以我在思考自己为什么口语还算好但是却没有拿到更高的分数时,觉得应该和说的内容有关:是否将topic充分发展了,是否逻辑比较一致。我认为在考场上未必要把topic发展得真和一篇作文那般充分,但必须让考官不会明显感觉到内容匮乏、空洞;同样,逻辑也未必真要多么多么一致和严谨,但围绕topic说的时候一定不能过于散漫,不能让考官一听就有一种“这前后两点八竿子打不这呀”的感觉
5. 建议把口语的topic作为一篇小作文来写,以此来慢慢积累自己的资料库。我自己在准备口语的时候,task 1 & task 2看了不少topic,每个topic都写成一篇小作文。适当参考别人说的内容,但强烈建议要形成自己非常熟悉的资料库,这样说起来会更得心应“口”。
6. 推荐一个老外的口语练习教程,似乎是在地里看到的http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzE5MzA0NTA4.html  这是task 1的,后面还有其它口语task的。这个教程介绍的口语模板很不错。


关于综合写作:
1. 主要参考了《十天突破新托福Essays》这本书。比较认同里面的观点:综合写作是比较严肃的学术写作,不求文采,但求把问题写清楚,所以反而考试前练好适合自己的模板,然后考场上把听到的信息迅速套用模板写下来即可。
2. 我会把当时学习时从这本书上学习到的模板放在后面,供大家参考。


关于独立写作:
1. 建议读一下《新东方•GRE写作:从3分到6分》里面关于Analyze an Issue的分析方法。托福的独立写作感觉就是GRE的Anaylize an Issue的简单版本,而这本书里面有系统的分析topic的方法,学一下并予以练习,基本不会发愁没有思路。《十天突破新托福Essays》个人感觉更偏重文字上的功底,并没有对拿到一个topic后如何做系统而全面的分析做很多讲解。
2. 练习过GRE issue写作的人都知道,任何一个topic深入思考的话,都会有非常多的切入点可以拿来写,即便是“一边倒”的观点,也应该是建立在系统全面的分析基础上的。托福虽然是语言层面的考试,但文章的逻辑、思考的深度和全面性也是被考察的内容。所以我认为独立写作高分的方法是:掌握系统而全面分析topic的方法,将topic的讨论充分发展,并配以一定的文字功底,就足够了。我三次托福的作文成绩分别是28、29、29,相信是有一定说服力的(假如只有一次是高分,可以认为是碰运气,但连续3次都高分,必然是有实力因素的)。
3. 在topic的发展上和文章的组织结构上,我偏向于“正反观点交锋式”的分析和结构组织。具体说来,我的文章会分成好几个段落
  * 第一段:开头适当转述一下topic,引入。中间明确表达自己的观点。末尾转折引出对立观点,目的是在后面的段落中批驳。
  * 第二段:较为简单地论述一下对立观点,要讲明你认为对立观点中最重要的支持论据。这个段落不必太长但也不能太短。太长了会占用写作时间,并且喧宾夺主;太短了则显得发展太不充分了...虽然是对立观点,也要好好对待一下的呀。另外,所谓“最重要的支持”论据其实就是你批驳起来最方便最有力最有话可说的那个论据即可。另外,如果一个论据说不够的话,可以再找一个论据。但建议适当控制字数,除非你文思泉涌且键盘速度够快。
  * 第三段:对第二段中对立观点的支持论据进行批驳。并在结尾点明“我认为其实应该是这样的观点(就是把第一段自己的观点再重复一遍),理由如下。”。
  * 第四、五、六段:未必真需要这么多段落,看自己有多少可以说的东西了,哪怕一个段落把自己的论据说完都可以。总之这几段就是全面建立自己观点的段落,要不遗余力地全面发展和论证自己的观点。
  * 最后是结尾段:“总之,我的观点是...”。然后适当说一些废话,结束。
4. 上面这个段落组织不太适合“一边倒”型。但我认为:只要是全面系统地分析了topic,很难发现会是“一边倒”的情形。如果真是一边倒型,那我会回归传统的5段结构:第1段引入,2、3、4段写3个支持论据,第5段结尾。另外上面这个段落组织也不太适合那种倾向于介绍性质的topic,比如“如果你带外国友人去你们国家,你会带TA去哪个地方,解释原因”这种。但貌似托福的大部分题目都是可以正反discuss的。
5. 关于作文中是否一定要举很多例子,我个人认为所谓“例子”必须是充分为论点服务的才行,如果是为了举例而举例,只能让文章的逻辑显得脆弱和单薄。在准备GRE作文的时候我比较深得体会到了一点:如果你认为针对某个观点你找不到合适的示例佐证,那很可能是这个观点你还没有想得足够清楚。所以,一方面,我认为只要把自己观点想清楚,那么我们还是能从自己这么多年的见识中找到合适的例子的;另一方面,我认为健壮的逻辑推理和论证比“模糊的观点 + 勉强的举例”要更有力,所以如果考场上真头脑发蒙想不出合适的示例,那么就把推理论证自己观点的文字写好写足。
6. 上面说了文章的内在逻辑,然后说说纯语言方面的东西。首先就是:坚决杜绝语法和词汇搭配错误。操作办法:写完文章后一定要厚着脸皮找别人改,并且可以明确说出请至少帮忙检查语法方面的错误。我在工作中自己写邮件和review别人写的邮件的一个很深的体会就是:只要把语法错误消灭,你的英语水平立刻上一个台阶!我个人感觉常犯错的语法点主要有:
  * 主谓一致问题:主语是复数结果谓语动词用了单数。反之亦然。
  * 一个句子出现多个动词:一般这是中式思维的结果,比如汉语说“你只要把邮件写完发给我就行了”,结果英语写成“You just finish the email and then send to me is OK.”,这个句子就是错误的。
  * 多个句子并列,却没有用适当的and或者but等连词连接。
  * 被动语态中,动词没有使用正确的过去分词形式。
  * 介词短语后面的动词没有使用正确的-ing动名词形式:例如:He finished the task without use(应该是using) any tools.
  * 该倒装却没有倒装:典型的就是Only after you finish your task you can(应该是can you) go back home.
  * 虚拟语气:我只说一个具体的情形,就是原本应该用"should have done"的情形都由于受到汉语思维影响而直接写成了"should do"的情形。其实虚拟语气这个点我掌握得非常不好,所以写作时也尽量不用。
7. 纯语言方面,除了要尝试把上面常犯错的语法点纠正以外,我个人认为在句型上只要能训练练好这4个句型就足够了
  * 单独的简单句:这个很简单,基本上都会写。
  * 用连词(and/but等)连接起来的多个简单句:这个也很简单,只要注意别把连词丢掉即可。
  * 定语从句:定语从句是形成复杂句的最基本句式。我认为只要能把一层的定语从句写好就基本够用了(GRE中很多难句本质上就是N层嵌套的定语从句)。
  * 插入语:我常用的以插入语方式书写的词有4个:in my opinion, on the other hand, however, therefore。例如:正常语序下我们一般会说:"In my opinion(或者However/On the other hand), the computer games do not always cause negative results...",但我可以稍微调整一下词汇顺序,使用插入语的方式来说同样的话:"The computer games, in my opinion(或者however/on the other hand), do not always cause negative results..."。意思一点都没有什么变化,但句子结构的灵活性立刻提升。
8. 总之:我的词汇量其实比较小,不怎么会用一些高端大气上档次的词汇和短语搭配,所以我从来不认为自己托福作文的高分是依靠纯语言层面的东西提升上去的,而是依靠全面的topic分析 + 健壮的推理论证 + 很少有语法错误的语言 + 相对灵活的句型。我在#6和#7中讲述的两个关于纯语言方面的东西,我认为是可以在较短时间内有较大提升的。




========== 分割线 ==========


综合写作模板:来自《十天突破新托福Essays》:


Paragraph #1:
The reading passage explores the issue of <转述总话题>.  The professor's lecture deals with the same issue.  However, he/she thinks that <教授的总体观点>, which contradicts what the reading states.  And in the lecture, he/she uses three specific points to support his/her idea.

Paragraph #2:
First, even though(although) the reading passage suggests that <转述文章中的第一个分论点>, the professor argues in the lecture that <转述教授用于反驳的第一个分论点>.  This is because <转述教授第一个分论点后面的支持句>, which means <最好能再深入写半句教授对其第一个分论点的支持句,如果实在写不出,就把前半句再转述一下>. Obviously, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.


Paragraph #3:
Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that <转述文章中的第二个分论点>, the professor contends that <转述教授第二个反驳分论点>.  Then he/she supports this point with the fact that <转述教授第二个分论点的支持句>.  In other words, <继续转述>.


Paragraph #4:
Finally, the professor asserts that <转述教授第三个反驳分论点> whereas te author of the reading claims that <转述文章第三个分论点>.  The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that - i.e., <如果这里能再引申1~2句就非常棒了,但实在填不出那就结束>


Paragraph #5:
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses(flaws/problems) in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument(main point/main idea) in the reading, - that is, <转述文章总话题> is incorrect.


上述红色词汇可以利用如下词汇替换:


用来表示“讨论”的词:
explore, analyze, examine, discuss, investigate, deal with, concentrate on, address


用来表示“话题”的词:
issue, subject, topic


用来表示“认为”的词:
think, argue, believe, assert, claim, contend(to compete in order to win sth.), insist, state, indicate


用来表示“冲突”的词:
contradict(vt.), challenge, clash with, conflict with, oppose, is opposed to, disprove


用来表示“支持”的词:
support, confirm, back(vt.), back up, advocate, strengthen


用来表示“显示出”的词:
show, reveal


用来表示“综上所述”的词:
in conclusion, in summary, to sum up, based on the arguments/points offered above, hence, thus, therefore










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y111d 发表于 2013-12-9 14:33:28 | 显示全部楼层
哥们我的作文考了三次都是22,独立写作一直fair,看了你讲的写作方式还是深有感触的,可否发一些你平常练习写的文章借我看看?感谢!
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2013-12-9 15:57:26 | 显示全部楼层

我以前在版里发过自己的习作求改:http://www.1point3acres.com/bbs/thread-69869-1-1.html

不过上面这篇文章算是我花很多时间仔细写了的,所以肯定比30分钟写出的作文的水平要高。不过可以给参考一下。
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2013-12-9 19:59:22 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Ror 于 2013-12-9 20:06 编辑
y111d 发表于 2013-12-9 14:33
哥们我的作文考了三次都是22,独立写作一直fair,看了你讲的写作方式还是深有感触的,可否发一些你平常练习 ...

另外附一篇我以前准备GRE issue作文的时候准备的一篇提纲,可以作为我说的“重逻辑”的例子。不敢说我的提纲就一定深刻,而且里面也有很多观点可以继续深入argue,但是我想如果能体现出深刻的逻辑、辩证、全面的思考能力,再加上基本过关的语言水平,托福写作应该是可以获得高分的。提纲中红色部分是supporting example。"Moving stone"的那个例子是我在TPO#4中的Passage#5这篇lecture中听到的。"Team of Rival"这本书是以前看TED的时候看到的。

新GRE issue题库#123:
论题:The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
写作要求:Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我的提纲:

  • 首段:

    • 一般陈述:对论题的转述。
    • 基本观点:从各个领域来看,总体来说合作的重要性都要大于竞争,但适度的竞争也是必不可少的。作为leader,合作精神和竞争精神都要有,但合作精神更重要。

  • 主体部分:

    • 先让步讨论反方观点:竞争比合作重要。

      • 人和自然的竞争使得人能战胜自然。比如古代的人们的生命可能会遭受洪水、地震、干旱的威胁,在与自然的竞争过程中,我们修建了河坝,增强了房屋的抗震程度,发明了更好的灌溉(irragation)技术,使得我们的生活更有保障。
      • 人和人之间的竞争使得我们能"Faster, Higher, Stronger"。例如运动员之间的竞争使得我们的体能得到更好发展;学生之间的竞争提高了学习成绩;公司之间的竞争提高了产品和服务的质量。
      • 因此,竞争对人类更有价值。Leader应该懂得如何通过竞争来让自己的组织变得更好。

    • 对反方观点的驳斥:我并不否认竞争对于人类也是重要的,但是它不能和合作相提并论。

      • 人是无法战胜自然的。人类只能想办法和自然和谐相处。现在我们越来越重视对环境的保护,就是一种和环境的“合作”。
      • 人和人之间的竞争能让人类"Faster, Higher, Stronger"的前提,是在于竞争者之间没有利益冲突,在于他们都是向着同一个目标努力,例如运动员的例子。但在更多情形下,人和人之间是有利益冲突的,这就使得竞争有可能引起自私,从而损害整体福利。例如学生之间为了竞争有限的大学入学名额可能会变得自私。公司之间为了竞争有限的市场而采用不正当的手段,最终可能会损害到消费者。

    • 过渡段:竞争的确有一定好处,但从人类整体来看(When viewing the human society as a unity),合作更重要。下面我们会从几个不同的领域详细考察:科学领域,商业领域,政治领域。
    • 科学研究领域:合作的重要性要远远大于竞争的重要性。因为很多问题本身是很复杂的,需要来自多个不同领域的人共同献计献策才能解决。

      • For example, studying the mystery of the moving rocks in the Death Valley in California was originally believed the work of geologists.  However, as the investigation continued, they found they need the input from other subjects such as meteorology and physics to form a possible explanation.  The geologists, of course, would not study meteorology and physics by themselves.  Instead, they would  involve the experts from the related subjects so they could work together on it.  The leader of the research team must have the sense and ability to build up the environment in which the scientists from different background were willing to work with each other.  Otherwise the research team would soon be broken down and the investigation would have to be suspended. Thus a sense of cooperation is really important here.  This is also a counter-example of "competition is more important", because we certainly don't need two research teams to compete each other to see which can solve the puzzle faster.  We just need one team in which people can cooperate extensively.

    • 商业领域:又要分层次研究:

      • 在同一家公司内部,合作远远比竞争重要。因为:

        • 公司是一个整体(unity),公司的各个部门的员工,虽然职责不同,但都是为了最大化公司整体利益服务的,因此需要紧密配合。
        • 当公司内部能紧密配合时,公司的效率会非常高,对市场的反应也能足够迅速,从而提高了公司的竞争力。
        • 相反,如果公司内部不同部门因为利益分配而竞争,必然导致效率下降,内耗增强,公司的竞争力必然降低。
        • 因此,作为一个公司内部的leader,需要想办法创造cooperation的环境。

      • 在一个局部市场内,公司和公司之间则是竞争比合作重要。因为:

        • 公司要想赢得市场份额,只有通过提供比其他公司更优秀的产品和服务,这对于消费者而言是好事,因此竞争可以将消费者利益最大化。同样,赢得了市场的公司也可以赚取赢得的利润。消费者和公司实现了双赢。
        • 相反,如果市场中出现垄断公司,即卖方市场势力,那么消费者必然只能忍受低质量的产品和服务,却需要付出更高的成本,导致整体的社会福利(social welfare)下降了。正是因为人们认识到没有竞争的危害,所以人们才引入了反托拉斯法案来积极向市场中引入竞争。
        • 因此,作为一个局部市场的leader, manager or supervisor,保持市场内的竞争是非常重要的。

      • 从整个世界的角度来看,合作的重要性又要大于竞争,因为:

        • 不同的国家在生产不同的产品上有各自的相对优势,在这种相对优势下生产产品,可以获得最高的性价比(the most cost-efficient),资金得到最有效的利用,因此整个社会的福利也是最大化的。因此,不同的国家应该相互合作,只生产自己有相对优势的产品,并通过贸易获得自己不生产的产品。
        • 在当今社会,正是因为这种紧密的合作还没有完全形成,导致很多国家还要生产自己并不擅长生产的产品,导致成本增加,资金无法最有效利用,无法实现整个社会福利的最大化。WTO的出现就是为了消除这种状况的,而WTO本身的出现,也充分证明了在全球环境下合作的重要性。因此,WTO这个世界范围内的leader,她所要重视的也必然是合作。

    • 政治领域:合作的重要性也要大于竞争:

      • 因为政治的最终目的是为全体人民服务,而不同阶层的人民有不同的诉求,这就要求代表不同利益诉求的政治家之间要通过协商、合作、妥协等方式寻求一个让全体人民都满意的最优解,而不是通过彼此竞争仅仅为本阶层的人民谋取利益而损害了其他阶层人民的利益。
      • 例子:林肯的“政敌团队”

        • Team of Rivals, a book by Doris K. Goodwin, an American historian.
        • 在竞选总统成功后,林肯邀请曾经的竞争对手加入内阁为国家服务。
        • Had he not possessed the wisdom and confidence to select and work with the best people, Doris argues, he could not have led the nation through one of its darkest periods.

      • “政敌团队”说明的问题:

        • 通过竞争,可以选出最适合的领导者。
        • 通过合作,领导者带领团队谋求最大的利益。
        • 可见:竞争是有存在的必要的,但是合作才是真正的目的。(Competition is just a means to cooperation.)

  • 结尾:再次转述主题:在现代社会,合作是最重要的,因此作为要带领团队前进的leader,合作的意识是非常重要的。当然,竞争也非常有用,因为良好的竞争是保持团队活力和能力的重要手段。但是,竞争不是目的,合作才是目的。因为只有合作才能给人类带来最大的利益。





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smellycat 发表于 2013-12-11 10:32:28 | 显示全部楼层
是一个女学生wallet掉了然后去补办什么card的那个section?
那个是加试,考两次T,两次里面都有那个section,一点没变。
个人感觉托福考试中不会出现TPO中的原题,不过出题套路是和TPO一样的
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2013-12-11 11:19:39 | 显示全部楼层
smellycat 发表于 2013-12-11 10:32
是一个女学生wallet掉了然后去补办什么card的那个section?
那个是加试,考两次T,两次里面都有那个sectio ...

好像是...原来这就是所谓加试啊~ 我还以为是自己撞大运了呢...
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y111d 发表于 2014-1-12 00:30:20 | 显示全部楼层
谢谢你给转的原来的文章!我看过之后对这种交锋式的写作方式深感赞同,你还能不能多发点类似模式文章借我看看?最好是你写的,我还有5天考试了
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2014-1-14 11:22:23 | 显示全部楼层
y111d 发表于 2014-1-12 00:30
谢谢你给转的原来的文章!我看过之后对这种交锋式的写作方式深感赞同,你还能不能多发点类似模式文章借我看 ...

再给你一篇我以前的习作。挺早以前写的,我有点忘记这是第一稿还是修改过的稿子,所以语言上可能会有缺陷(但下面也基本是我最好的语言水平了,自认为没有很高。我以前写的personal statement经一个美国本地人帮忙修改,真是被改得面目全非……)。最近忙着写一些材料,没有再细细修订,发出来仅供参考吧。“交锋式”方法是以前看某个留学培训机构的免费宣传册学来的,但现在一下想不起来是哪个机构。

祝考试顺利!

题目:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Teachers should give students more group assignments because students work more efficiently in groups.

作文:

When I say that the teachers should not give more group assignments to students, I could immediately hear a lot of disagreements from some other people.(文章开头一向是我的老大难。这篇习作的开头就一句话,其实不太好,有点突兀和生硬,所以能掰扯两句还是多掰扯两句。不过我第二次托福考试的作文就是一句话作为开头段,也得到很高的分数,所以应该还好。)

These people could find their reasons to support their standpoint, and the one that says "teamwork" is the most significant skill required by the current society is referred to the most.  They believe the group assignments could train teamwork skill of the students, because when they work in group, they could leverage all the people's intelligence and divide the entire assignment into different pieces so each one could just focus on one piece.  They also need to communicate and collaborate with each other to synchronize the work.  This could not only shorten the total time spent on the assignment, but also prepare the students for the future work environment.

When we look closer, however, teamwork may not be that nice as these people imagine.  Teamwork may also result in negative affects to the efficiency.  First of all, not all the assignments could be divided into parts that could be investigated truly independently, which means these divided pieces are usually internally related.  As a result, the students who appear to work on independently still need to communicate with each other a lot.  To make things worse, in some larger group, a student might be selected as a professional "project manager" to undertake all the communication work to coordinate all the team members.  It reduces the efficiency when the students need to make efforts on the work that is irrelevant to the assignment.

Another problem that teamwork might bring in is the "free rider" problem.  When some students are assigned to one group, chances are they are not at the same academic level.  The students who do not excel academically may become the "free riders" because they cannot contribute as much as their counterparts that have a deep understanding at the school work.  As a result, the "free riders" only contribute a little but the "project manager" may still need to spend a lot of time to communicate with them.  This also significantly decline the team's efficiency.

In general, I think it's fine for the teachers to assign some group homework for the students to give them a chance to practice the teamwork skill.  However, it's better not too many of them.  Besides, the assignments should be carefully designed so they would not increase the communication burden of the students.  Otherwise, such assignments would waste too much time and energy of the students, and could not make the achievements they were originally designed for.
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2014-1-14 11:35:54 | 显示全部楼层
y111d 发表于 2014-1-12 00:30
谢谢你给转的原来的文章!我看过之后对这种交锋式的写作方式深感赞同,你还能不能多发点类似模式文章借我看 ...

再给你一篇。下面这篇是第一稿,题目是TPO10的独立写作,大概是讨论computer games are good or bad to children。当时写high了,所以写了老多...写完之后就跑去玩了会结果就没有好好修改...惭愧一下...贴出来供参考吧。


As computers have become so popular in the world in present-day society, a lot of families have bought at least one computer for a variety of purposes: work at home, surf on the internet to collect information, or play games for entertainment.  Though I personally don't think playing computer games is a waste of time and should be allowed for the children, I believe that a lot of people would disagree with me at this point.

    The people who hold the opposite opinion against me usually uses the example that playing computer games will negatively affect the children's school work to attack my stand point.  Besides, some computer games are full of violence and even killing and thus are not good for the children's healthy growth.

    To some extent, I agree that what they have stated here are all true.  However, I believe the problems are not caused by the computer games, but by the lack of proper guidance that the parents should have provided.  It's the parents' responsibility to select deliberately the proper games for their children because the they are too young to distinguish between the good and the bad.  Besides, the parents should take measures to help the children control the time they spend on games, for example, by playing the games together with them.  When properly guided, children can make use of the computer games as a tool of relaxation and entertainment after they have finished their school assignments.  Anyway, the old saying "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" quite makes sense.

    The magics of computer games are in fact far beyond that.  Some well-designed computer games could help children to learn knowledge which is seldom taught in school classes.  "Civilization" is one example of this kind.  This game requires the players to build up their own civilizations which simulate the entire process of human society development.  By playing this game the children could learn a lot about the history.

    What's more, some children who are really interested in computer games might be so inspired that they decide to become game engineers.  John Carmack, the designer and chief programmer of Doom and Quake, is one such example.  John was very interested in playing computer games and even when he was still a young boy he decided to design and write his own games.  In order to make his games perform better, he optimized a lot of long-existing computer algorithms which require a profound understanding of the computer mechanism as well as a solid grasp of mathematics.  No wonder John Carmack is one of the top engineers in the world and the hero of many other computer engineers.

    Therefore, I don't think playing computer games is a total waste of time to children.  The result depends on how the children are guided but not how the games are designed.  When poorly guided, children gain nothing; when properly guided, they gain knowledge and even a dream.
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2014-1-14 11:38:50 | 显示全部楼层
y111d 发表于 2014-1-12 00:30
谢谢你给转的原来的文章!我看过之后对这种交锋式的写作方式深感赞同,你还能不能多发点类似模式文章借我看 ...

下面的是TPO22的独立写作题目。题目原文忘记了,大概是要讨论relate well to other people是否非常重要。

Those people who disagree with me will likely take the research jobs as an example.  They say that people who work in a scientific research center do not have to handle such complicated relations but simply concentrate on their own research.  This kind of jobs require the academic capability much more rather than that of dealing with people.

I must point out, however, that these people couldn't be wrong any more.  The scientific research work usually couldn't be accomplished by a single researcher, and cooperation is necessary to get a group of people together to work on it collaboratively.  Therefore, the researchers also need to know how to get along well with other people, otherwise the work efficiency and progress could be badly affected.  By contrast, the academic capability is not the most significant factor in this situation.

Therefore, the ability to relate well to people, I believe, is a necessity to all kinds of jobs, because in the present-day society, team-spirit is becoming increasingly important which requires a group of people working harmonically with one another.  This can be best seen in jobs such as marketing and sales, in which people must not only get along well with their workmates but also with their customers.

Of course, I agree that this ability is required in a different extent in different jobs.  A scientific researcher, as has been mentioned above, usually does not have to cope with a relationship as complicated as a salesman does.  However, this doesn't mean that the researcher could totally ignore the cultivation of such an ability.  In fact, in the current times, as long as you need to go with a team, you always need to relate well to the people around you.
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2014-1-14 11:40:08 | 显示全部楼层
y111d 发表于 2014-1-12 00:30
谢谢你给转的原来的文章!我看过之后对这种交锋式的写作方式深感赞同,你还能不能多发点类似模式文章借我看 ...

Should adults make important decisions for their older teenage children

写作思路:
1、整体采用“交锋式写作法”,即通过驳斥反面观点建立正面观点。
2、A段: 描述当今(中国)社会的现象:虽然不是全部,但有很多成年人为孩子做决定。并描述反面观点。
3、B段: 描述反面观点的理由。
4、C段: 对B段的理由逐一批驳。
5、D段:描述正面观点,并解释说明。
6、E段:总结陈辞。

In today's society of China, many parents tend to make important decisions for their teenage children, behind which it is the Chinese tradition "father guides son".  Though I personally believe that adults should not make important decisions on behalf of their children, there are still a lot of people that disagree with me.

    These people could find many reasons to support their objection, and the one that says the children cannot make correct decisions due to lack of life experience is referred to the most.  They believe that no correct decisions can be made without sufficient life experiences, and once wrong decisions are made, it always costs the children's time and energy to correct them. The parents don't want such costs because they hope their children could go directly to the success without any "meanders".

    Such behaviors of these parents, however, could not be wrong anymore.  The children will grow up and finally have to stand on their own feet, because in most cases their parents would pass away earlier than they do.  If the children do not learn to make decisions by themselves when they are young, how could they be supposed to do so wisely when they have no way to rely on their parents someday?

    I believe the teenage period is the best time for children to learn decision-making.  This is reasoned as follows.  First, a person's success is judged by his/her ending, not starting, thus it should be acceptable that the person falls behind the others at the early stage of life because he/she still has a lot of time to catch up.  Second, the earlier the stage of life the person is in, the less it costs to make corrections, thus nobody should worry too much about choosing a wrong choice when a person is young.  Finally, wrong decisions can teach the children a good lesson so the next time they will consider more deeply and thoroughly before making up their minds. (这里想有一个简短一些的总结句,但不知道怎么写比较好。)

    The parents must help train their children's skill of making decisions, as a way of preparing them to face the future challenges independently.  When their children are struggling for a decision, the parents could provide suggestions, help collect information, or simply let go by themselves, but should never tell them what to do directly.
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2014-1-14 11:43:46 | 显示全部楼层
y111d 发表于 2014-1-12 00:30
谢谢你给转的原来的文章!我看过之后对这种交锋式的写作方式深感赞同,你还能不能多发点类似模式文章借我看 ...

暂时就这些了。我另外还有2、3篇习作,不过不是这种“交锋式”的,基本属于一边倒或者两边讨好类型的,所以没有贴出来。我当初并没有练习很多篇,主要是因为工作中经常用英文写邮件,所以写作功底在工作中多少慢慢夯实了。不过我也自认为我的文字水平还需要再提高一个台阶。而下面这个台阶就不好往上迈了,需要更大量的阅读和写作的积累。最后祝考好!
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y111d 发表于 2014-1-14 11:46:43 | 显示全部楼层
感谢!这么多篇我要好好研读了!
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 楼主| Ror 发表于 2014-1-14 11:52:10 | 显示全部楼层
y111d 发表于 2014-1-14 11:46
感谢!这么多篇我要好好研读了!

有错误和建议欢迎指出。共同学习和进步~
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y111d 发表于 2014-1-29 10:05:34 | 显示全部楼层
第四次考T,今天出分了91,作文25,特地来感谢下!哥们你这几篇作文帮了我大忙!
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changsidi 发表于 2014-2-15 23:55:48 | 显示全部楼层
楼主你的综合写作里面没有加文章里面的例子木?
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