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[G作文-求改] 第一篇作文,求批评求指导

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潇潇雪儿 发表于 2014-3-7 15:06:57 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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虽说准备GRE已经快两年了!(当然,前期很长一段时间都是背背单词,偶尔做一两道题。)但是今天还是第一次动笔写作文!憋了两个小时凑出这几个字,才知道看理论看范文是多么的轻松,自己写出来是多么的困难。起初觉得自己论点不够,写起来觉得思维一直在跳,最后写不下去了把完全否定改成了部分赞成部分否定,才得以完成。感觉前路漫漫啊,任重道远。
希望有经验的小伙伴们给我的初作提提建议,看看逻辑、语言等方面有没有什么问题,需要往哪个方向改进,小菜在此感激不尽!!!
(这是Pool of Issue Topics中的第一篇作文,论述随着人们越来越依靠技术,解决问题的能力会不会逐步丧失。)
The topic implies that as technology hasbeen developing for centuries and we have come to a world where technology canhelp us do almost anything now, we will undoubtedly rely on it more and moreuntil we lost the ability to solve problems. I agree with it partly becausethere are two aspects we can't ignore: technology is the production of humanthinking and there must be something can't be substituted by technology.

When talking about technology referring toordinary people in daily life, I agree that we may lose our ability to solveproblems. It's not abnormal to imagine a life, where you spray something onyour body as the clothes, have pills to keep away from hungry and get enoughnutrition, insert a slug in the brain to obtain knowledge. With these technologes,why do we have to learn to put on clothes, farm, cook and reading? There alwaysbe a technology to solve the very problem. Ordinary people can just wait tillthe technology appears and the ability to solve problems is just needless.

However, it is human who developedtechnology. Although some animals can use tools to get food, technology amonghuman is far from assuring enough food and clothes. We use technology to makeour dreams come true. We can control the garage door in the bedroom, tell someoneon the opposite of the earth what is happening around you, and even fly toanother planet. All of these are because we have need, curiosity and craving, sowe must figure out a method to reach this goal. The process we researching,exploring and proving itself is a process of solving problems. That is to say,we must learn how to solve problems ceaselessly to develop technology andsatisfy our enlarging appetite.

Though we now can do almost anything withso developed technology, there must be something we can't turn to it. Emotions,ethics, values, ingenuity and those things which need complicated amalgamationof culture, relationships, environment and thinking, they can't be replaced bya cold machine. We live in a world with humanity, and we grow up companying theshape of all those complicated things. Human will not allow robots to capturethis world, nor will they develop technology that will deprive them of thosewonderful experiences in life, even if they can develop such technology. Therefore,we can't totally rely on technology to solve problems in these fields.

In conclusion, although technology makemajority of us lazy to think about how to solve problems, it will not do allfor us. What's more, it creates new problems and drives some people to learnmore and strengthen their ability to solve problems.

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