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[T作文-已改] [Comprehensive Writing] TPO 15

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ECEPE 发表于 2014-4-1 17:47:18 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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Inthis reading material, three reasons are given to prove the advantage and feasibilityof the methods to vanish the cane toad. However, the lecturer raises seriouscounter arguments against the reading paragraphs by providing differentconsequences of these methods.
Firstof all, the author points out that the construction of a national fence canhelp discourage the toad from moving to places that are not colonized yet. However,the lecturer mentions that it cannot work because unlike the rabbits, toads areanimals that can move by water. Their youngsters and eggs can be carried by thestream to move anywhere. Streams and rivers cannot be limited by the fence. Asa result, their population would increase all over the Australia.
Secondsolution to this problem is that volunteers can engage in this campaign todestroy the toad, as the author considers. What’s more, the government can playa leading role to organize citizens. However, the lecturer holds an oppositeview. He contends that this action is prone to be detrimental to other animal’ssurvival, especially one kind of frogs that is endangered. Because volunteers havelittle professional knowledge, they fail to distinguish the cane toad fromother animals.
Finallythe lecturer states that the introduction of virus to eliminate the toadpopulation is inadvisable, contradicting what is presented in the third methodthat the virus which does harm on the toad only can be effective. According tothe lecturer, this virus would be transported to the America by ship where thetoad is a natural part of the ecosystem. Therefore, the virus would pose threatento the local toad in America, affecting the original habitat.
Tosum up, the contents of the reading passage are refuted by the professor. It isobvious that the professor holds totally opposite idea on the solutions in thereading, which are aimed to decrease the population of cane toads in Australia.

I hope u can help me revise this writing , thanks!

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perlin 发表于 2014-4-5 15:57:30 | 显示全部楼层
以后求批改麻烦贴出原题,方便修改的人。还有,很多地方两个单词连在一起没有空格,自己的文章crtl V过来以后请仔细检查再求批改。求批改的人有多少态度,改的人就有多少诚意。

In this reading material, three reasons are given to prove the advantages and feasibility of the methods to vanish the cane toad. However, the lecturer raises serious counter arguments against the reading paragraphs by providing different consequences of these methods.开头段简洁明了,好
First of all, the author points out that the construction of a national fence can help discourage the toad from moving to places that are not colonized yet. However,the lecturer mentions that it cannot work because unlike the rabbits, toads are animals that can move by water?by water是听力材料的原话嘛?如果不是,那这里用法好像有问题,by water是乘船的意思. Their youngsters and eggs can be carried by the stream to move anywhere. Streams and rivers cannot be limited by the fence. As a result, their population would increase all over the 去掉Australia.国家名只有USA UK这样的缩写才加the
Second, a solution to this problem is that volunteers can engage in this campaign to destroy the toad, as the author considers. What’s more, the government can play a leading role to organize citizens. However, the lecturer holds an opposite view. He contends that this action is prone to be detrimental to other animal’s animals'实际上一般这种's的从属格结构一般只用在人身上,比较少用在动物、物品上 survival, especially one kindspecies of frogs frog that is endangered(这里不必用一个定语从句). Because volunteers have little professional knowledge, they fail to distinguish the cane toad from other animals.
Finally, the lecturer states that the introduction of virus to eliminate the toad population is inadvisable, contradicting what is presented in the third method that the virus which does harm on the toad only can be effective. According to the lecturer, this virus would be transported to the America by ship where the toad is a natural part of the ecosystem. Therefore, the virus would pose threaten to the local toad in America, affecting the original habitat.
To sum up, the contents of the reading passage are refuted by the professor. It is obvious that the professor holds a totally opposite idea on the solutions in thereading, which are aimed to decrease the population of cane toads in Australia.

文章基本没有大问题,只要信息你自己确认下有没有把听力材料里的信息都写全就可以了。
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 楼主| ECEPE 发表于 2014-4-5 23:23:47 | 显示全部楼层

谢谢~ 那句by water很受用 本来是想表达通过水来迁徙的
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