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[T作文-已改] 第一次发帖, 诚意求教

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finalboss1987 发表于 2014-5-24 20:19:27 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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Do you agree or disagree with following statement? It is better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.
Some people claim that it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with humorous people. My opinion is that we should make friends with different personalities. It should not just be confined to a specific kind of people.
Making friends with intelligent people is definitely helpful to us in many aspects. First, when we meet with some difficulties, they can always come up with some good ideas and valuable advice which can help you to overcome these troubles. When you chat with your smart friends or work with them, you can learn a lot from them, the way they think, the approach they conquer the challenge, etc. More importantly, intelligent friends sometimes can change your life. For example, one of my friends, Jacky, who is stanford graduate shared some knowledge and experience which she learned from United States with me. She also encouraged me that I should go to US to get my Master degree. I adopted her suggestion, and you know what, I work for Google in California now. I can not realize my dream without her.
However, making friends with people who have a good sense of humor is also important.  My friend, Tom, is a very good example. He is so funny that I feel very happy when hanging out with him every single time.  When I feel sad, he always use his sense of humor to make me laugh and forget sadness.  
In a nutshell, we should make friends with different kinds of people, no matter they are intelligent or humorous. In addition, they are not mutually contradictory.  Social with a diversity of people will make our life more interesting and colorful.

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GoldenArcher 发表于 2014-5-26 11:15:16 | 显示全部楼层
字数才276啊,有点不够……

第一段还是有些薄弱,为了凑字数的话可以把body段落的想法总结一下然后丢到intro段落

第三段感觉可以和第二段一样,把原因写出来……和第二段比起来,第三段的字数好少……

其他的就是有些地方大小写好奇怪,估计是LZ太捉急了的原因吧。

0.0其他的都挺好的……

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perlin 发表于 2014-5-28 07:58:09 | 显示全部楼层
同学,请不要求修改了以后也不上论坛,也不来感谢,就把人家帮你修改的晾在那边好么?
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 楼主| finalboss1987 发表于 2014-5-28 20:51:55 | 显示全部楼层
perlin 发表于 2014-5-28 07:58
同学,请不要求修改了以后也不上论坛,也不来感谢,就把人家帮你修改的晾在那边好么?

不好意思,最近没上,刚看到
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GoldenArcher 发表于 2014-5-28 21:10:24 | 显示全部楼层
finalboss1987 发表于 2014-5-28 20:51
不好意思,最近没上,刚看到

开头和结尾都把body段落换个花样总结一下丢进去,两段看起来就饱满了╮(╯▽╰)╭

、、、两段式我写的不多,不过对这种论点两段式我只能说是我所能够想到的最好的方法了、、、

但是第三段的字数真的是硬伤呢0.0有例子,不过少了点原因(supporting details...?)

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