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[阅读] 【歪读名著】《战争与和平》英译版选段对比

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托尔斯泰名著War and Peace在本版块已经有大佬正经地开帖带大家读了,相信大家从中能够体会到书中深刻的人性。而楼主作为阅读界的非主流,放着北京烤鸭不吃,偏偏喜欢吃当佐料的葱,所以必定成不了美食家,不过可以努力成为一代“葱”师。

作为一本俄语+法语的名著,War and Peace有众多的英文译本。众所周知,文学作品在翻译过程中会不可避免的有偏差,每位译者必定有自己的取舍和侧重。本帖的内容,是选取3本常见的英文译本互相对比。第一是可以尝试尽量还原原著本意,第二是通过品味不同译者的表达,提高英文语感。所以称为“歪读名著”。

诚然,托尔斯泰的作品并非以语言取胜,而是有深刻的内容。所闻本帖开宗明义,咱们是来“吃葱”的。主要并不是讨论作品剧情,中心思想等等,而仅仅是当一件艺术品把玩。若是有缘人能会心一笑,足矣。

译本的选择:
市面上流传的比较广的是 Garnett版和Maude版,这次加入了地里推荐的Briggs版。Briggs版是2005年新译本,所以语言更加modern. 而Garnett和Maude都是和托尔斯泰同时代的人,所以从时代感上来讲,两位可能更接近。而Maude版本是很多人大力推崇的,因为Maude家和托尔斯泰本人有来往,并受到托本人的指点。

关于两位译者的wiki:. From 1point 3acres bbs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constance_Garnett
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aylmer_and_Louise_Maude

文本来源:
本帖的文本会以Maude版为基础,对比另两者的翻译。另外Maude版已经成为公版,可以在以下网页读到全文:
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2600/2600-h/2600-h.htm

Disclaimer: 原著显然很长,按照逐段对比的读法绝对是有生之年系列。所以楼主可能随时弃坑,感谢理解!
. check 1point3acres for more.



补充内容 (2020-6-18 11:25):
在数学家眼里,物理学家的数学水平是半瓶醋;在物理学家眼里,工程师的数学和物理水平都是半瓶醋;奇妙的是,傻傻的工程师还是做了不少事情。我就是一个喜欢喝半瓶醋的工程师。人嘛,最重要的是开森~-baidu 1point3acres

补充内容 (2020-6-22 06:07):
今天Chapter 1全部更完。会暂停一段时间,以后有机会在更了~

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选段1 (Book one 1805: Chapter 1)
Maude: (以下简称M.)
“… But I warn you, if you don’t tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist—I really believe he is Antichrist—I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my ‘faithful slave,’ as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you—sit down and tell me all the news.”


后半段差异:
Briggs: (以下简称B.)
“… I shall disown you. You’re no friend of mine – not the “faithful slave” you claim to be … But how are you? How are you keeping? I can see I’m intimidating you. Do sit down and talk to me.”

Garnett: (以下简称G.)
“… I ought to have not something more to do with you and you're no longer my pal, no longer my ‘dedicated slave,’ as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I simply have worried you—sit down down and tell me all of the statistics.”. From 1point 3acres bbs

第一是“友尽”的表达,M.的have nothing more to do with you 很直白,G.的ought to的语气更硬了一点,考虑到语境也算合理。我有点没想到是B.用的disown, 虽然感觉很简练,但是联想到说话者的一股神神叨叨,风风火火的气势,好像意思有点不太够?

第二个是“吓到你了”,M.和G.用的都是完成时,而B.用的是进行时,感觉有一点点细微的差别。当然了,没有唯一的正确说法。说话者接下来明显是想让对方坐下来冷静一下,所以这句应该有一种话锋一转的意思。



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选段2 (Book one 1805: Chapter 1)
M:

It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pávlovna Schérer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Márya Fëdorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasíli Kurágin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pávlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.”

B:
“… These words were spoken (in French) one evening in July 1805 by the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honour and confidante of the Empress Maria Fyodorovna, as she welcomed the first person to arrive at her soirée, Prince Vasily Kuragin, a man of high rank and influence. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for the last few days and she called it la grippe – grippe being a new word not yet in common currency.”

G:
It changed into in July, 1805, and the speaker have become the famous Anna Pávlovna Schérer, maid of honor and preferred of the Empress Márya Fëdorovna. With those terms she greeted Prince Vasíli Kurágin, someone of immoderate rank and importance, who modified into the primary to acquire at her reception. Anna Pávlovna had had a cough for a few days. She have grow to be, as she said, affected by la Grippe; grippe being then a today's word in St. Petersburg, used notable with the aid of the elite.”
-baidu 1point3acres
第一点是场景转换。这一段是紧接选段1的一段独白的,三种翻译的区别就很有意思了。M.的it was in July… 是一种自然的旁白风格,B.的“these words were spoken one evening” 让我个人觉得稍微有点别扭,不过B.留下了额外信息“spoken in French”, 所以可以推测原文可能是法文,这点其实对了解context有一定的作用。G.就很有意思了,“It changed into in July”, 并不是一种旁白的感觉,更像是舞台上的场景变化(当然我有可能过度解读了)。

第二是对“la grippe”的解释。我不太理解B.的翻译为什么遗漏了2个重要信息:一是地点St. Petersburg. 二是强调这是“elite”才使用的词语。地点的重要性暂时没有那么强,但是elite是一个不可忽视的重点。托尔斯泰在不同的作品中都反映过当时的风气:所谓的“上流社会”要以说法语来展示自己的高贵,而在此文中甚至不仅如此,还要说“新来的“法语词汇,才能体现自己是高贵中的VIP。这群爱慕虚荣的人们在托尔斯泰的作品中常是讽刺的对象。B.仅仅用了一个”not in common currency”带过,意思只是“it is not widely used and accepted.” 我个人认为意思是不够的。而再考察另两位,则都有表达出了更多含义。
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选段3 (Book one 1805: Chapter 1)

M.
He had just entered, wearing an embroidered court uniform, knee breeches, and shoes, and had stars on his breast and a serene expression on his flat face. He spoke in that refined French in which our grandfathers not only spoke but thought, and with the gentle, patronizing intonation natural to a man of importance who had grown old in society and at court. He went up to Anna Pávlovna, kissed her hand, presenting to her his bald, scented, and shining head, and complacently seated himself on the sofa.”

B.
Dressed in his embroidered court uniform with knee-breeches, shoes and stars across his chest, he looked at her with a flat face of undisturbed serenity. His French was the elegant tongue of our grandparents, who used it for thought as well as speech, and it carried the soft tones of condescension that come naturally to an eminent personage grown old in high society and at court. He came up to Anna Pavlovna and kissed her hand, presenting to her a perfumed and glistening bald pate, and then seated himself calmly on the sofa.”

G.
因为和M.的翻译太一致,略。

第一是关于说法语的表述。M.说 “not only spoke but thought”, 意味“不仅仅是说(法语),而且用它思考”,这是一个递进的关系,(相信大家学英语的时候也听说了能用英语思考是“更高境界”),在以说法语为荣的背景下,在这里言辞之中更体现出了贵族装逼的成分。B.的翻译似乎平淡一些,”as well as” 有一种并列的关系,the same as, in addition too.

第二点是一个我个人非常主观的评论了:关于形容词的顺序。M.的翻译让我觉得特别有既视感,有戏剧性。(当然如果原著的顺序就是如此,那就是托氏的功劳了)Bald -> Scented -> Shining有的层层推进的感觉 (注意到作者特意用逗号隔开了,目的可能就是要刻意制造停顿)。首先看到bald的时候,我头脑中已经会有一个秃子的大概影像,但是不清晰;再看到scented, 加入了嗅觉的感官,这个香喷喷的秃子开始让我觉得奇特,再看到”shining”, 哇,视觉瞬间受到冲击,仿佛一道亮光闪过眼前,更让这个人的“谐星”形象展露无遗,让我想起一些周星驰电影中的一些丑角们。 B.的翻译非常符合英文的语序,因为bald是一个更基础的属性,所以放在了最后,但是在阅读的时候首先贸然出现的“perfumed and glistening”有点无所依附的感觉。我无法说谁是对的,我希望有看过俄语原文的人能指点一下托氏自己是怎么安排这个顺序的。


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选段4(Book one 1805: Chapter 1)
M
“First of all, dear friend, tell me how you are. Set your friend’s mind at rest,” said he without altering his tone, beneath the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference and even irony could be discerned.
“Can one be well while suffering morally? Can one be calm in times like these if one has any feeling?” said Anna Pávlovna. “You are staying the whole evening, I hope?

B.
‘First things first,’ he said. ‘How are you, my dear friend? Put my mind at rest.’ His voice remained steady, and his tone, for all its courtesy and sympathy, implied indifference and even gentle mockery.
‘How can one feel well when one is … suffering in a moral sense? Can any sensitive person find peace of mind nowadays?’ said Anna Pavlovna. ‘I do hope you’re staying all evening.

G.. From 1point 3acres bbs
“First of all, highly-priced friend, inform me how you're. Set your buddy’s thoughts at rest,” stated he with out changing his tone, under the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference or maybe irony may be discerned.
“Can one be well at the equal time as suffering morally? Can one be calm in instances just like the ones if one has any feeling?” said Anna Pávlovna. “You are staying the entire midnight, I hope?

这两段社交场面话挺好玩儿的,可谓“表面朋友”的对话。

第一点是he(上文的Prince)的自称,他正在对Pavlovna说话,在M.和G.的版本中,Prince称自己为“your friend”, 这种表达就值得玩味了。我们目前还不知道Prince和Pavlovna是否熟识,但假如他们不熟,Prince未经认可强行自称“your friend”, 那就反应了他的高傲的态度,因为我叫你“friend”是抬举你,别不识好歹。这和后面所说的“irony”和“indifference”是契合的。B.直接译为 “my mind”, 跳过了这层意思。我觉得可能是B.对原文很熟,这些人称指代谁都很显然,所以内化原文,只称“my”。另外“without altering his tone” 和“voice remained steady”意思虽然一样,情感上可能还是有点差别。

第二点是Pavlovna的客套话。M.和G.都以“I hope?”结尾,给我的感觉是其实只是问问,并不是真心的。而B.的说法,如果不配上特别语气的话,表达的感觉大概是不一样的. 比如 “I dooooooo hope you’re staying…” 可能会比较有讽刺意味。否则会感觉平淡一点?


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选段5 (Book one 1805: Chapter 1)
M.
“I thought today’s fete had been canceled. I confess all these festivities and fireworks are becoming wearisome.”
“If they had known that you wished it, the entertainment would have been put off,” said the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, by force of habit said things he did not even wish to be believed.

B.
‘I thought tonight’s festivities had been cancelled. I must say all these celebrations and fireworks are becoming rather tedious.’
‘If they had known you wanted the celebration cancelled, it would have been,’ said the prince with the predictability of a wound-up clock. Sheer habit made him say things he didn’t even mean.

G.. From 1point 3acres bbs
“I concept these days’ fete were canceled. I confess maximum of those festivities and fireworks have emerge as wearisome.”
“If that that that they had identified which you favored it, the leisure might also possibly have been remove,” stated the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, via pressure of dependancy said subjects he did no longer even choose to be believed.

这第二段也是Prince的客套话的代表。第一段是Pavlovna说焰火让她感觉乏了,prince马上表示如果他们知道你乏了,肯定会取消的。当然这显然是不可能的,只不过是这种“假话”说惯了而已。最后表达prince自己都不信的时候,有意思的区别来了。我们知道大意是prince自己也不信,B.的“he didn’t even mean”强调了他根本不是这么想的,体现出了Prince的虚伪。但M.的说法也很巧妙“did not even WISH to believe”. 我自己理解说假话有两个层次,第一个是自己知道是假的,为了安慰别人而说,虽然心里知道事实,但其实希望是真的。比如某人得了绝症,朋友安慰他说一定会好起来的,虽然朋友知道并非如此,但其实希望他好起来。第二个层次是,自己知道是假的,也不希望是真的,这就是纯粹的讽刺了,或者是“怼人”,常见场景是学霸安慰**:“你稍微努力点,就能考的超过我了!” Prince心里也是这样,你区区一个接待员,谁会听你的诉求!要是真的那岂不是变了天了!而G.的翻译”choose to believe” 于B.比较相近。


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选段6 (Book one 1805: Chapter 1)
M.
“I am your faithful slave and to you alone I can confess that my children are the bane of my life. It is the cross I have to bear. That is how I explain it to myself. It can’t be helped!” He said no more, but expressed his resignation to cruel fate by a gesture.

B.
‘I’m your faithful slave. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but my children are the bane of my life. They’re the cross I have to bear. That’s how I explain it to myself. What would you …?’ He broke off with a gesture that signalled his resignation to a cruel fate.

G.
“I am your sincere slave and to you by myself I can confess that my children are the bane of my life. It is the glide I should go through. That is how I give an explanation for it to myself. It can’t be helped!” He said no greater, however expressed his resignation to cruel destiny via using a gesture.

这一段是Prince Vasili诉苦自己的儿子不成材。”the cross I have to bear” 之前是it is 还是they are我觉得都说得通,就不在纠结了。不过G.的“glide I should go through”我是真不知道这个expression是啥意思, 而且也没查到(哭)。最后对话结尾的时候,B.可能根据自己的理解转述成分比较多,在这里感觉其实还挺好的,体现了Vasili欲言又止,有苦说不出的感受。我写了前面几段,可能有人觉得我是Briggs黑,哈哈。。说明一下,其实只是我个人觉得那几段M.更对我胃口。Briggs这种加入个人语言偏好比较多的,如果对上了电波是很好的。


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bluejade 发表于 2020-6-18 10:57
lz这个帖子很有意思,不过感觉只有在精通原版语言也就是俄语/法语的同时才能更好评判译文的优劣吧,毕竟原 ...

说的很对,而且我不是差点意思的问题,可以说是盲人摸象了(笑哭)

所以第一说明了是“歪读名著”,第二这是个人笔记,完全没有权威性。po出来第一是博人一笑,第二也是希望有真正的大佬来指点一二。

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这是一个神贴啊。建议你自己弄一个小网站往上面po!
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lz这个帖子很有意思,不过感觉只有在精通原版语言也就是俄语/法语的同时才能更好评判译文的优劣吧,毕竟原文才是唯一的标准,没有标准答案光是看几份优秀答卷还是差点意思。
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看了楼主贴的2段,我感觉我个人更喜欢M的英译,语意更直接,更好读懂。
喜欢这种对比!楼主加油!
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