ladder爬到什么时候才是尽头？怎样才可以幸福？ 最近半年迷茫期的一些感悟

同意评论里说的 找些不功利的目标 比如学习新的语言/加入一些community 在新的领域探索未知或许可以带来一些不一样的角度 我觉得国内应试教育培养出来的孩子更容易有这些疑惑（不是说美国人没有 相对好一些）都说人要follow your heart 但像我老公的美国同事放弃tech firm稳定高薪去英国读一直想读的地缘政治博士 这种典型的“follow your heart”的事情却在中国世俗观念看来就是不make sense的  当好学生/好员工/好伴侣/好人真的很累 不如多看点有意思的书/电影/探索下不熟悉的世界吧

建议看看心灵奇旅/soul，有探讨部分这个问题。

有目标有理想当然要去追逐，但这与留心身边的美好并不矛盾。只有这样，当你达到你的目标之后，才不会觉得怅然所失，因为在这个过程中你已经经历了生活中的种种美好和幸福。

发现身边的美好和感受生活的幸福，确实是我们都需要努力学习的东西呀，共勉！

买买买提不动 发表于 2021-6-1 06:54
推荐电影《soul 心灵奇旅》
人生是一场旅行，不要执着于追求的是什么；想一想，当下 ...

good movie

remix 发表于 2021-6-1 01:20
我目前还没这感觉，书，动漫，游戏都太有意思了，根本停不下来，而且工资都够我买这些东西，偶尔去下e3，pa ...

莫名羡慕

看了这个贴突然觉得太优秀也是种负担
楼主太谦虚了，绝对不是自己说的普普通通人
祝福楼主能遇到让自己觉得真正有挑战并有幸福感的事情吧

羡慕lz已经快爬到顶了，我还在努力往上爬。。但是我已经早早想好了如果我可以到顶躺平了就去做慈善，帮助那些没有我们这么幸运的人，比如大山里的孩子，被遗弃的孤儿，被抛弃的小动物啥的，希望有生之年能实现躺平以后的目标！lz也可以想想马斯洛需求理论最高等级里你有啥想实现的不呀

推荐看看马男波杰克这部剧

生活状态是有惯性的，要变道得先找到一条新轨道。我被生活推进不同的轨道过有这个感觉。先得过且过吃喝玩乐，后来打鸡血，但是改变要一个契机，还需要找不同的事情来填满你的时间，不然还是就回到老路上。

我以前是适度努力一下差不多就行了，能上好学校就不会想着努力点上最好的学校。上班了做点毫无技术含量的工作，精力主要集中在玩乐上面，就算经常被说大材小用（因为专业听起来高科技）也无所谓，工作压力小，我好一门心思安排下班去哪里玩啊。找玩的地方和约人都很花时间的。

后来碰到我老公，然后发现在美国组建家庭最好。去了美国要做什么样的工作是个巨大的焦虑源，然后我就开始打鸡血想法子点技能树，学这学那。玩的心思就少了。到美国的最初两年我在全职工作，怀孕生娃的情况下还念了一个在线硕士。真的是很伤身体也很伤幸福感。简直是我一生最暴躁的两年。但是我停不下来。看到地里晒的包裹又想着转行跳槽。我本来都不是勇攀高峰的人。努力让我疲惫。但是已经进入了这个猛蹬自行车的状态，平时除了上班学习什么人都不认识也不知道去哪里玩。社交圈都是老公的亲戚。擅长吃喝玩乐也是一种本事，需要参加很多社交活动发现更多有意思的活动。变个轨，其实也累。

感觉叔描述过楼主这样的想法，他滴整体描述有点过分悲观了。。但是bold部分感觉符合楼主现在的疑问：

“To our amazement we suddenly exist, after having for countless millennia not existed; in a short while we will again not exist, also for countless millennia. That cannot be right, says the heart:and even upon the crudest intelligence there must, when it considers such an idea, dawn a presentiment of the ideality of time. This however, together with that of space, is the key to all true metaphysics, because it makes room for a quite different order of things than that of nature.That is why Kant is so great.Every moment of our life belongs to the present only for a moment; then it belongs for ever to the past. Every evening we are poorer by a day. We would perhaps grow frantic at the sight of this ebbing away of our short span of time were we not secretly conscious in the profoundest depths of our being that we share in the inexhaustible well of eternity, out of which we tan forever draw new life and renewed time.You could, to be sure, base on considerations of this kind a theory that the greatest wisdom consists in enjoying the present and making this enjoyment the goal of life, because the present is all that is real and everything else merely imaginary.But you could just as well call this mode of life the greatest folly: for that which in a moment ceases to exist, which vanishes as completely as a dream, cannot be worth any serious effort. Our existence has no foundation on which to rest except the transient present. Thus its form is essentially unceasing motion, without any possibility of that repose which we continually strive after. It resembles the course of a man running down a mountain who would fall over if he tried to stop and can stay on his feet only by running on; or a pole balanced on the tip of the finger; or a planet which would fall into its sun if it ever teased to plunge irresistibly forward. Thus existence is typified by unrest.

In such a world, where no stability of any kind, no enduring state is possible, where everything is involved in restless change and confusion and keeps itself on its tightrope only by continually striding forward - in such a world, happiness is not so much as to be thought of. It cannot dwell where nothing occurs but Plato's 'continual becoming and never being. In the first place, no man is happy but strives his whole life long after a supposed happiness which he seldom attains, and even if he does it is only to be disappointed with it; as a rule, however, he finally enters harbour shipwrecked and dismasted. In the second place, however, it is all one whether he has been happy or not in a life which has consisted merely of a succession of transient present moments and is now at an end The scenes of our life resemble pictures in rough mosaic; they are ineffective from close up, and have to be viewed from a distance if they are to run beautiful. That is why to attain something desired is to discover how vain it is; and why, though we live all our lives in expectation of better things, we often at the same time long regretfully for what is past. The present, on the other hand,is regarded as something quite temporary and serving only as the road to our goal. That is why most men...are surprised to see that which they let go by so unregarded and unenjoyed was precisely their life, was precisely that in expectation of which they lived.Life presents itself first and foremost as a task: the task of maintaining itself... If this task is accomplished, what has been gained is a burden, and there then appears a second task: that of doing something with it so as to ward off boredom, which hovers over every secure life like a bird of prey. Thus the first task is to gain something and the second to become unconscious of what has been gained, which is otherwise a burden.That human life must be some kind of mistake is sufficiently proved by the simple observation that man is a compound of needs which are hard to satisfy; that their satisfaction achieves nothing but a painless condition in which he is only given over to boredom; and that boredom is a direct proof that existence is in itself valueless, for boredom is nothing other than the sensation of the emptiness of existence. For if life, in the desire for which our essence and existence consists, possessed in itself a positive value and real content, there would be no such thing as boredom: mere existence would fulfill and satisfy us. As things are, we take no pleasure in existence except when we are striving after something - in which case distance and difficulties make our goal look as if it would satisfy us (an illusion which fades when we reach it)- or when engaged ill purely intellectual activity, in which case we are really stepping out of life so as to regard it from outside, like spectators at a play. Even sensual pleasure itself consists in a continual striving and ceases as soon as its goal is reached. Whenever we are not involved in one or other of these things but directed back to existence itself we are overtaken by its worthlessness anti vanity and this is the sensation called boredom."

. From 1point 3acres bbs楼主可以读点哲啥的，可能最后可以达到一种即使弄不清生活的终极意义，也能不被这种问题paralyzed by hesitation and uncertainty。可以该咋生活咋生活：

”Philosophy, as I shall understand the word, is something intermediate between theology and science. Like theology, it consists of speculations on matters as to which definite knowledge has,so far, been unascertainable; but like science, it appeals to human reason rather than to authority,whether that of tradition or that of revelation. All definite knowledge--so I should contend--belongs to science; all dogma as to what surpasses definite knowledge belongs to theology. But between theology and science there is a No Man's Land, exposed to attack from both sides; this No Man's Land is philosophy. Almost all the questions of most interest to speculative minds are such as science cannot answer, and the confident answers of theologians no longer seem so convincing as they did in former centuries. Is the world divided into mind and matter, and, if so,what is mind and what is matter? Is mind subject to matter, or is it possessed of independent powers? Has the universe any unity or purpose? Is it evolving towards some goal? Are there really laws of nature, or do we believe in them only because of our innate love of order? Is man what he seems to the astronomer, a tiny lump of impure carbon and water impotently crawling on a small and unimportant planet? Or is he what he appears to Hamlet? Is he perhaps both at once? Is there a way of living that is noble and another that is base, or are all ways of living merely futile? If there is a way of living that is noble, in what does it consist, and how shall we achieve it? Must the good be eternal in order to deserve to be valued, or is it worth seeking even if the uni
verse is inexorably moving towards death? Is there such a thing as wisdom, or is what seems such merely the ultimate refinement of folly? To such questions no answer can be found in the laboratory. Theologies have professed to give answers, all too definite; but their very definiteness causes modern minds to view them with suspicion. The studying of these questions, if not the answering of them, is the business of philosophy. Why, then, you may ask, waste time on such insoluble problems? To this one may answer as a historian, or as an individual facing the terror of cosmic loneliness.

。。。

There is also, however, a more personal answer. Science tells us what we can know, but what we can know is little, and if we forget how much we cannot know we become insensitive to many things of very great importance. Theology, on the other hand, induces a dogmatic belief that we have knowledge where in fact we have ignorance, and by doing so generates a kind of impertinent insolence towards the universe. Uncertainty, in the presence of vivid hopes and fears, is painful,but must be endured if we wish to live without the support of comforting fairy tales. It is not good either to forget the questions that philosophy asks, or to persuade ourselves that we have found indubitable answers to them. To teach how to live without certainty, and yet without being paralyzed by hesitation, is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can still do for those who study it. ”

做到自己满意的水平就好了，不要过分在乎title，level，和TC