CS－MS PS求改,谢谢大家

８１７words

多问一句，ps和sop都用这个，可以不？

The defining moment in my life came six years ago when I touched into the world of Olympiad in Informatics. I became fascinated with the art of algorithm immediately and worked hard at it. After a period of time, I won the first prize in Beijing High School Programming Contest. However, that was not enough for me cause there were so many magical algorithms waiting for me to explore and I wanted to grasp them all. So when I went to the university, I chose computer science as my major because I found this was the subject that I was really interested in. I continued to solve the problems of the Online Judge System to practice my skills. At that time, computing just become a part of my life. I mastered many interesting algorithms such as segment tree, network flow and so on. Of course, it was not a smoothness. For example, some difficult problems can puzzle me for several days. However, I didn’t give it up. I searched for the solution on the net or asked others for help. I tried my best to figure it out in the end and when it came, I felt very satisfied – maybe I was born to be a coder. During my college, I attended in ACM-ICPC Regional for six times and the last time – just a month ago – I won the gold medal in Nanjing with the team ranked 12th. When I heard the result, I was so pleased even with tears in my eyes. It's not only proving my ability but telling me one’s efforts will pay off. I hope to go further on this way.

My ambition and programming ability enabled me to get a position in Prof. Cao’s laboratory of Intelligent Information Processing, which belonged to Institute of Computing Technology Chinese Academy of Science. My research was mainly focused on intelligent medical. I finished two papers here named “A Preliminary Data Analysis of Stroke Prescriptions” and “Intelligent Online Clinic Alert System and its Application in TCM”. The former one’s main idea is using methods of data mining to investigate the relationship between compatibilities of prescriptions for treating stroke and their attributions such as dynasties and resources, which used to provide a decision support for clinical applications. The latter one proposes an Intelligent Online Clinic Alert System which is applied on Traditional Chinese Clinical Medicine. By collecting the data of herbs, prescriptions, symptoms and diagnoses, the system builds a strong dictionary and achieves intelligent online analysis by scales and rules. Here, I have to say I have never thought the process of research is so arduous. For instance, I had to do numerous of experiments to verify my surmises and I need to change my plan if I found something is wrong. During the period I became realized that research not only requires brilliant ideas but also the attitudes of patience and persistence. Moreover, these studies are meaningful cause they help to solve the practical problems. I feel happy when my works can contribute to the development of science and thus make the society better. Now I am working on Automatic Acquisition of Clinical Terms, another challenging issue involved natural language processing. It seems I will enjoy it for a period of time.

As for my graduate study, I would like to work in Artificial Intelligence, especially in knowledge representation, data mining or machine learning. There are two reasons. The first reason is that I believe Artificial Intelligence has a broad prospect. It will make a qualitative leap in the human work efficiency and bring a revolutionary storm in informatics. For example, my research will make doctors’ work easily and hence an improving of efficiency. It’s always meaningful. However, this direction is very difficult and there are so many issues waiting for the researchers. So I hope to contribute my own power to Artificial Intelligence research. The second reason is I find myself fit the study very well. First, I am interested in this area. Second, I have a strong basic knowledge of general algorithm and I have done one year internship in this direction. Moreover, I have read many monographs in this area, from Neural Networks to Knowledge Discovery. Third, I have the qualities to be successful in this field: creativeness, collaborativeness and persistence. Due to these reasons I’m sure I will do the job well.

The Master program of your department owns high-quality courses and excellent faculty that can satisfy my need of improving specialized skills and mastering the most advanced techniques world-wide. Specifically, the Artificial Intelligence direction matches me best. Some topics I’m really interested in, such as Learning Theory and Intelligent Information Access. And I am strongly looking forward to cooperate with Prof. XXXXX and Prof. XXXXX. It is my heartfelt desire that I may continue my study within your esteemed graduate program and become an excellent researcher in Artificial Intelligence upon graduation.

The defining moment in my life came six years ago when I touched into the world of Olympiad in Informatics. I became fascinated with the art of algorithm immediately and worked hard at it. After a period of time, I won the first prize in Beijing High School Programming Contest. However, that会不会有指代不清的问题？ was not enough for me cause there were so many magical algorithms waiting for me to explore and I wanted to grasp them all. So when I went to the university, I chose computer science as my major because I found this was the subject that I was really interested in. I continued to solve the problems of the Online Judge System to practice my skills. At that time, computing just become a part of my life. I mastered many interesting algorithms such as segment tree, network flow and so on. Of course, it was not a smoothness. For example, some difficult problems can puzzle me for several days. However, I didn’t give it up. I searched for the solution on the net or asked others for help. I tried my best to figure it out in the end and when it came, I felt very satisfied – maybe I was born to be a coder. During my college, I attended in ACM-ICPC Regional for six times and the last time – just a month ago – I won the gold medal in Nanjing with the team ranked 12th. When I heard the result, I was so pleased even with tears in my eyes. It's not only proving my ability but telling me one’s efforts will pay off. I hope to go further on this way.（感觉你的intro信息量太大，有点CV的感觉，就算你得奖多，也捡重要的写，除了列出具体内容，还要写感受的）

My ambition and programming ability enabled me to get a position in Prof. Cao’s laboratory of Intelligent Information Processing, which belonged to Institute of Computing Technology Chinese Academy of Science进lab这个事情，不用费这么多文字吧. My research was mainly focused on intelligent medical. I finished two papers here named “A Preliminary Data Analysis of Stroke Prescriptions” and “Intelligent Online Clinic Alert System and its Application in TCM”. 和简历重复了，浪费了字数，不要把简历写到ps里面来，多写点感受，和你的个人特点The former one’s main idea is using methods of data mining to investigate the relationship between compatibilities of prescriptions for treating stroke and their attributions such as dynasties and resources, which used to provide a decision support for clinical applications. The latter one proposes an Intelligent Online Clinic Alert System which is applied on Traditional Chinese Clinical Medicine. By collecting the data of herbs, prescriptions, symptoms and diagnoses, the system builds a strong dictionary and achieves intelligent online analysis by scales and rules. Here, I have to say I have never thought the process of research is so arduous. For instance, I had to do numerous of experiments to verify my surmises and I need to change my plan if I found something is wrong. During the period I became realized that research not only requires brilliant ideas but also the attitudes of patience and persistenc从何体现，求具体examplee. Moreover, these studies are meaningful cause they help to solve the practical problems. I feel happy简单词别用 when my works can contribute to the development of science and thus make the society better. Now I am working on Automatic Acquisition of Clinical Terms, another challenging issue involved natural language processing. It seems I will enjoy it for a period of time.不值得浪费字数

As for my graduate study, I would like to work in Artificial Intelligence, especially in knowledge representation, data mining or machine learning. There are two reasons. The first reason is that I believe Artificial Intelligence has a broad prospect. It will make a qualitative leap in the human work efficiency and bring a revolutionary storm in informatics. For example, my research will make doctors’ work easily and hence an improving of efficiency. It’s always meaningful. However, this direction is very difficult and there are so many issues waiting for the researchers. So I hope to contribute my own power to Artificial Intelligence research. The second reason is I find myself fit the study very well. First, I am interested in this area. Second, I have a strong basic knowledge of general algorithm and I have done one year internship in this direction. Moreover, I have read many monographs in this area, from Neural Networks to Knowledge Discovery. Third, I have the qualities to be successful in this field: creativeness, collaborativeness and persistence. Due to these reasons I’m sure I will do the job well你看你围绕reason浪费了多少字，直接first，second搞定.

The Master program of your怪，学校不是ao家开的 department owns high-quality courses and excellent faculty that can satisfy my need of improving specialized skills and mastering the most advanced techniques world-wide. Specifically, the Artificial Intelligence direction matches me best. Some topics I’m really interested in, such as Learning Theory and Intelligent Information Access. And I am strongly looking forward to cooperate with Prof. XXXXX and Prof. XXXXX. It is my heartfelt desire that I may continue my study within your esteemed graduate program and become an excellent researcher in Artificial Intelligence upon graduation.

关于你的ps和sop的问题，我觉得根据学校来的，如果你的这个和学校风格很搭配，那都用这个就可以。美国写作文，偏题从来不扣分！

然后就是你文章里面列简历的东西太多，浪费字数

跟我自己的ps好像啊... 帮顶~

感觉是我最近在地里看到的写的最好的一篇，帮顶一下，写的挺简洁的，我要是能写你这么少的字数就没问题了……

感觉很有借鉴意义，特别是楼上修改的内容，感谢楼主！