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[申请文书] 心力交瘁求文书修改,求打醒!

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byabya | 只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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文书改了几次,但是仍旧觉得不好,但是也具体说不出哪里不行,时间越来越近了,希望大神们不吝赐教!. Waral dи,
是不是写的废话太多太宽泛了?每个经历对自己的影响是不是应该再详细一些?

Electronic and Communication Engineering changes our lives. As for me, enlightened by the role of Windtalker, a decipher clerk whose exclusive mission is to protect the secret code from being broke, I have strongly perceived the increasingly increased importance of information technology in the current Internet era. To be a qualified electronic engineer, I always deem that it is vital to foster the thinking of “drawing a tiger with a cat as a model”. Since the day I authentically experienced the charisma of electronic equipment in the laboratory, I have set a lifelong journey of exploration, uncovering the mysteries of electronics during my undergraduate study. Seeing these feats with my eyes, I have resolutely decided to study Electrical and Computer Engineering (Signal and Information Processing and Robotics) at Duke from an international perspective to further highlight my future prospect as an electronic engineer with cutting-edge technical progresses.

Thanks to my clinging curiosity and uncommon sensitivity to communication engineering, I bolstered my caliber in the College of Electronic Information and Optical Engineering. As an intelligent energetic student who is good at time management, I have devoted considerable energy to arrange events for other peers in a leading position in Student Union, while maintained academic excellence in professional studies with many scholarships. Courses such as Principle and Application of Digital Signal Processors and Signals and Systems, and so on presented me a new fascinating world, where I picked up the DSP’s structural design, signal processing and functional hardware, and all kinds of signal and system transform analysis modes, circuit diagram transfer. Based on Design and Experiment of Microcontrollers, I made my own STC12C5A60S2 single-chip and independently programmed for the System—Greenhouse Temperature, Humidity and Luminosity Monitoring Alarm & Auto-Controlling Air Machine & Monitoring Mobile Users’ Bluetooth Communication. It gave an access to realize a systematic understanding of the operational principle and software programing principle of microcontrollers. Owning to my efforts in the past several years, my horizons were greatly widened and my technical acumen in electronic engineering also reached new heights.

Grasping the theories, I eagerly took advantage of the practical side to temper my hands-on skills. I dedicated to researches to forge myself. While undertaking Quad-rotor Autonomous Aircraft Program, I learned the basic development of STM32F407 single-chip and application of different sensors and finished the programming of two-wheeled self-balancing vehicle and line-tracking car with overtaking procedures under concerted cooperation with the other two teammates. To keep the balance of aircraft, I programmed with PID and adjusted the parameters. Particularly, standing out in academic performance, I was selected to attend a Joint-Internship Program between NKU and SciTech Group from Jul. to Nov. this year. Throughout the process, I mastered application development of STM32 F103 development board, development of commercial electronic theodolite embodied with software programming and hardware connection testing. I combined C++ language programming with experiment design of microcontrollers, putting into practice and accumulating more experience for envisioned study field.

My internships formed another vital portion in enriching my professional experience. In the winter vacation of 2016, I interned at Hangzhou Cisco China Company, Limited for over one month. There, I mainly worked on writing parts of functional code for Cisco Webex Customer Health Portal, a program aiming at producing a web page reflecting users’ feedback on application and related bug of the Webex products. To make users achieve a clearer glance of their usage frequency and duration, I carefully cooperated with the other colleague in sorting and processing the data uploaded to Webex and made into corresponding histogram, pie graph and linear statistical diagram. In the course of code integration, I figured out the differences between global variable and local variable and promptly understood that blind definition of global variable would incur many errors such as data corruption and duplicate definition, which enabled me to know better about the principle of variable definition and strengthen my professional skills and rigorous research attitude.

While majoring in Communication Engineering, I have played an active part in a number of in-campus and off-campus activities to enrich my extracurricular life. Being one of the leaders in both Student Union and International Style of Ballroom Dancing Group, I led members to organize many challenging but interesting games and annual art performance, during which I meet many like-minded people and recognized great significance of teamwork.

To become a brain of professional technical acumen, I feel that your M.S. ECE Program will be the best choice for me, a progressive and self-motivated young learner. As a place where “electronics meets application”, Duke wins high admiration in ECE’s learning atmosphere, which will be conducive to my future career exploration and forge of practical expertise. By exploring through your ECE program homepage, I also gained a deeper understanding of your exceptional faculties and academic levels. Furthermore, I find that your flexible and in-depth curriculum is ideally tailored to my interests and vocational planning. It covers the study fields of integrated multifunctional systems, statistics and information theory, the design of unmanned aerial vehicles, intelligent vehicles, sensor networks,which perfectly caters to my zeal for exploring into the research areas of  automation and signal and information processing. I desire to penetrate deeper into the application and connectivity optimization of embedded system to make it collaboratively operate with other machines. I wish to learn more jamproof signal coding & decoding methods in a wider application scope, more effective programming method of self-adaption and more stable application of digital signal processing. Thus, on the basis of my academic foundation and professional experiences, I believe that I will have access to cultivate my global mindset and broaden my vision through interacting with the professionals in your community.

Duke’s ECE has long harbored my career plan and research interests. Upon completing my graduate study, I expect to find an internship in America, concentrating on embedded computing and digital signal processing. I will strive to accumulate abundant working experience and build my networking. Look forward to be either a communication engineer or an embedded engineer, I will devote to design and development of embedded system and foster my expertise in relevant software development and debugging. In the long run, I wish to go back to China to start my own business or engage myself in relevant industry. Taking full advantage of Hangzhou, an energetic city embracing renowned Internet firms including Alibaba Gro. and NetEase, I will commit myself to making a difference in achieving my dreams. Convinced that my academic foundation and experience have prepared me to be a qualified student of Duke, I am equally certain with your guidance I will play an effective part in electrical engineering’s contribution to human being.

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 楼主| byabya 2017-2-9 00:11:44 | 只看该作者
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秦蕾蕾 发表于 2017-1-18 11:09
无关学术的那一段在别的地方一句话带过即可。。。PS有字数限制吗 我觉得有些技术方面太详细了点 我只看得懂 ...

谢谢!没字数限制的几所学校基本上就是这么交了,有限制的删减了一下,写的时候完全没头绪就觉得写得详细一点会让老师觉得我还是有学到点什么的。。。
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秦蕾蕾 2017-1-18 11:09:34 | 只看该作者
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无关学术的那一段在别的地方一句话带过即可。。。PS有字数限制吗 我觉得有些技术方面太详细了点 我只看得懂SE的那一部分 局部变量什么的 是不是太细节了点?如果字数有限制可以简单一点的
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 楼主| byabya 2017-2-9 00:08:56 | 只看该作者
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wystefan 发表于 2017-1-17 16:32
写的挺好的。我觉得可以思路更清晰写。每个段落的中心句突出下。
-baidu 1point3acres
谢谢肯定!在你回复之前我的所有申请都提交了,所以长时间没来地里,现在默默等offer中
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HelloWorld999 2016-12-25 23:57:25 | 只看该作者
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感觉楼主可以把research无关的少写一些,自己的项目经验、实习经验那些细节多说一些。。

不过MS申请据说ps不是那么重要,主要就是你的三维。楼主不用太担心啦
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macintosh 2016-12-26 06:32:39 | 只看该作者
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being broke
should be broken.
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 楼主| byabya 2016-12-26 14:46:29 | 只看该作者
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waer34634 发表于 2016-12-25 23:57
感觉楼主可以把research无关的少写一些,自己的项目经验、实习经验那些细节多说一些。。

不过MS申请据说 ...

好的,谢谢,主要是三维也很普通,比较焦虑
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 楼主| byabya 2016-12-26 14:47:38 | 只看该作者
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nbjsdfj 发表于 2016-12-26 06:11
啪啪啪,醒了吗,快提交吧!
.google  и
你觉得文书这样没什么问题了是吗?
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 楼主| byabya 2016-12-26 14:53:01 | 只看该作者
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macintosh 发表于 2016-12-26 06:32
being broke
should be broken.
. From 1point 3acres bbs
不好意思我好像没太看懂你的意思,你是指把“being broke”改成“being broken”???
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wilsey 2016-12-26 22:50:45 | 只看该作者
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我觉得比我当年写得好。但和学术无关的活动一比带过就好。
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 楼主| byabya 2016-12-26 23:08:41 | 只看该作者
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wilsey 发表于 2016-12-26 22:50
我觉得比我当年写得好。但和学术无关的活动一比带过就好。

谢谢肯定!我自己也是感觉废话有点多了,但是又有一种哪句都舍不得删的矛盾感,哭
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