[MS申请]本人的修改版PS，烦请大家狠拍～充做负面教材了～

谢谢大家的帮助，根据提出来的问题，经过和有经验的学长讨论或者自己的思考逐条的改过了～

V7:

As an applicant for the master degree in Electrical Engineering, I hope to strengthen my knowledge and achieve research experience in the electromagnetics or microwave related fields, which indubitably would be an exciting period of time and the start point of my research career. In particular, if having the opportunity, I am eager to join in the extraordinarily remarkable research group named “xxxxx” with great interest.

My initial motivation towards science and technology is gained during my childhood. When I was 7, my father taught me to build up a simple circuit to light the bulb and rotate the motor with the materials by hand. After the motor was broken, my father also encouraged me disassemble the device to see the mechanism inside. This electrical “magical trick” really attracted me and made me wonder about the unknown electrical world. Additionally one of our neighbors was a physics professor who liked to demonstrate interesting experiments to the kids, such as the magnetic iron is flowing while passing through a copper tube. All these life fragments I underwent indeed enlighten me and offer me an intuition about science and electrics.

After enrolled in one of the top 10 engineering schools in China, xxxxx University, with the major of Information Engineering, I attended in a course named “xxxxx”, which entirely change the trace of my college life. I performed pretty well on the final presentation and was selected to participate the meeting of xxxxx with our professors in University of Michigan. In that meeting, I made a poster to demonstrate my research and attended several lectures from the masters of physics. Honestly I was totally impressed by the leading-edge science, and especially the serious and attractive academic atmosphere. From that moment, I came about a faith to pursue graduate education in such a reputable institution.

During my college life, I participated in different kinds of academic competitions, projects and internships with great desire for putting scientific knowledge in practice. Once during the period of that project called “xxxxx”, I am in charge of programming the automatic sampling and transmitting commands based on the operating system of TI CC2430 and building the mechanical structures of the sensors and the support facilities. Although being tired out after spending all the daytimes in the laboratory for days, I felt extremely fulfilled because of the meaningful process of combining both daily mechanism knowledge and courses learned programming and microchip knowledge into reality. On the other hand, I really did a good job in the courses I am interested in, especially those in the junior year, for which I achieved scholarships on several courses and got a major average grade of 86.2/100 in return.

In the last semester of my junior year, I got a position in in the xxxxx Group led by Prof. xxxxx in the State Key Laboratory of xxxxx and began my learning and research in metamaterial and its applications. Specifically, I spent the entire summer holiday and the one-month short semester on paper reading or computer simulations in the laboratory. Sometimes, I even slept in my friend’s apartment or just in the lab to save time on traffic. Frankly speaking, various sorts of problems appeared at the beginning of research, which deeply frustrated me. For example, it was hard to find a convenient and automatic way to design the quasi-periodic capacitor-loaded transmission lines or square loops; or it is unrealizable to achieve a broadband metamaterial-inspired FSS with both steep transition bands and flat passbands. As reading more papers about metamaterial written by Prof. Pendry, Eleftheriades or DR Smith and having a deeper understanding in this field, I found alternative methods to solve the problem I faced or modify the design I fabricated. Still leaving some difficult problems unsolved, nevertheless, I undoubtedly made step-by-step progress and eventually got on the “track” in research by placing multilayer SRR metamaterial structures in the waveguide and implementing impedance matching layer to improve the characteristics of the filter. What really excited me is that due to the research above, I published my first primary-author paper, “xxxxx” in an IEEE conference as the proof of my hard work and mighty motivation in this field.

However, beyond academics, I also participated in so many extracurricular activities and joined in several students associations, from which I learned so many techniques and achieved such unique experience in art design and photography. I even won several prizes in photography competitions with bonus and became well-known in the photography circle of our university.

Besides, my GPA in the first two year may seem not as competitive as other applicants because I studied in perhaps one of China’s most rigorous honor school: xxxxx Honors College, the students of which are selected from top 5% when entering Southeast University majoring in EE and would have unique intensive courses that are different from those of other students.

I know that xxxxx Laboratory is doing research on wideband antennas, FFSs and microwave scope metamaterials, which is also part of my research interests. Moreover, I have met Prof. xxxxx, the director of ECL, in person on xxxxx Workshop. From the contacts, I realized that Prof. xxxxx is an erudite and creative person with warm heart and passion and I believe he is the kind of persons I am desirous to study and work with.

For my future career, I have already got a plan. Due to my interest and background in research, I’m eager to continue my R&D career in college or institution of China after finishing the master and PhD degree in United States. I believe I have the intelligence, ability, and determination to achieve success in the research field of EE. For now, my research experience combined with my academic background and various internships have prepared me well to accept upcoming challenges in this field.

楼主唯一的亮点在于ieee的某个会议的一座，要多做做文章。会议名称要写出来，ieee下也有许多渣渣会议。

其他地方多是比较普通的，人人都可以这么说，再看看有没自己独一无二的东西。

comestime 发表于 2012-11-9 17:16
楼主唯一的亮点在于ieee的某个会议的一座，要多做做文章。会议名称要写出来，ieee下也有许多渣渣会议。

...

谢谢！作为一个水人确实没啥硬实力，而且死的东西在CV里面都有，所以想多多谈谈感受，不知道这个理解是不是正确。。？说实话，不求能通过PS起死回生，只要别拖后腿就好～

加油，楼主！！！！！！！！！！！！

感谢LZ分享自己的PS~
算不上建议了，就是说说自己的一些看法吧~
首先，字数还是有点多。。。我的个人看法是，仅仅是个人观点啊。。。：如果经历不是特别特别丰富的话，字数太多容易让人Lose interest
特别是小时候那一段，有点太多了。这个话题比较老套了，好多人写；如果真想写，稍微写一下就可以了。毕竟，你对这个area的兴趣还是源自你对它的了解，如果重点通过小时候的经历来描述自己对这个area的兴趣，不是特别的有说服力。我觉得LZ可以把自己对这个area的兴趣放在自己的其他经历后面。
另外，LZ说有过很多实习经历。我建议可以写一些这方面的。毕竟CV里面很难写出你的收获和感受。
还有就是，整篇文章在组织上还有一些可以提升的空间。
很喜欢LZ关于发论文的经历的描写~
说了好多。。。只是自己的看法，不一定是对的。。。求LZ别拍。。。

整体不错，没有什么大问题，需要涵盖的部分基本都说到了。
lz是申请phd的吗？似乎没怎么提到自己感兴趣的研究领域

fate7612 发表于 2012-11-10 13:16
感谢LZ分享自己的PS~
算不上建议了，就是说说自己的一些看法吧~
首先，字数还是有点多。。。我的个人看法 ...

谢谢！字数一直是我头疼的问题，因为这个版本还没有加针对各个学校的段落。我会把小时候那段删减下的，之前的版本有project经历，我把那段删了。我现在知道应该把重点放在大学之后的经历上了～

liero 发表于 2012-11-10 13:20
谢谢！字数一直是我头疼的问题，因为这个版本还没有加针对各个学校的段落。我会把小时候那段删减下的，之 ...

嗯嗯~个人观点，适当参考就好~
加油！

你能把PS贴上来给大家看就特别特别好了~我也觉得既然申phd，整篇应更集中在自己的专业兴趣上。第二段需要删减，第四段写的太宽泛了，不如从和专业最相关的一点深入说。

auvpinkie 发表于 2012-11-10 16:21
你能把PS贴上来给大家看就特别特别好了~我也觉得既然申phd，整篇应更集中在自己的专业兴趣上。第二段需要删 ...

谢谢～
不是phd啦～是MS，在地里的同学们和直系师兄的帮助下，又改了一遍，现在编辑过了～刚刚更新，可能没看着
我再继续改～谢谢～