【Argue】spending too much time online求改

9月7号考G，现在才开始练作文，昨天憋了1个小时写出了500个字的ARGUE，ISSUE还没练，感觉AW还没入门，逻辑思路还没理清，求好人指点。

PS：感觉码字速度还不够啊，昨天对着范文纯码字，30分钟才码了520个字，听说AW要想过3，基本每项写满500字，是这样的吗？

下面上题：

这个是我写的：

Spending too much time online might be linked with sepression and the author argues that doing so would make people feel sad,down or blue. However, this argument depends on a number of unproven assumptions, and as such , it is not strong enough to jusify the association between the the length of time spending online and the feeling of depression.
First,the author refers that the survey chooses  250 adults to take part in it. But I  have to say  the number of people being surveyed is so small that it is not strong enough to prove that the survey has a broad representitive. The survey should survey more adults so that it can guarantee the result of the survey is convincing.Moreover, the survey doesn't account for how the 250 adults be selected in detail , what's the proportion of the men and women, and whether they are taking different jobs. What's worse, the survey simply chooses adults between the age of 30 and 45 then draws a conclusion about adults,it is obviously incorrect. As we know ,anyone who is older than 18 years old can be called adult, so the survey lacks the sample of the people that the age between 18 and 30 and who is older than 45.
Even if the result of the survey is true, it cannot make sense that spending too much time online is linked with depression. we don't know what jobs do the surveyed adults do, maybe some of them are programmers who must face with the computer or some of them take in e-commerce and the whole work has to be done on the Internet. That means maybe it is not Internet that makes them feel depressed but the job itself  makes them down. Moreover,30 hours is not a scientific data that surly make people start feeling sad,maybe some  peolple would feel blue when they spend time online more than 20 hours or 40 hours , and even some people have been feeling upset before they spend time online .The author seems to assume so, but these assumptions are obviously groundless.
The author also argues that people should strictly limitthe time they spend online if they want to improve their well-being.However,the truth of assumption still depends on a number of uproven assumptions.
Who can guarantee people would absolutly improve their well-being if they limit their time spending online?Who can guarantee people couldn't improve their well-being only if they spend time online?Maybe they are surfing on the Internet and searching the cheap tickets for a wonderful holiday,can we say they are not well-being?Maybe they are spending online and having a video chat with their friends who are abroad,can we say they are not well-being? Without knowing more about what are the people doing when they are online,it is impossible to gauge the well-being of different people.
limiting the time spent online might improve well-beingor could help some people keep far away from depression. but as we all know,every coin has two sides, we couldn't easily abnegate the good effect on the internet,and the author's arugument is not strong enough to persuade us to limit the time spent online.