1. 你使用的Editor名字或者链接 neharika87
2. 你使用了哪项服务?I will proofread and edit your statement of purpose and motivation letter
3. 你支付了多少美元?50刀+平台费
4. 你对TA的服务评价如何?满分10分,你打几分?
10分。
真的有点惊喜到!因为之前准备的文书和另一个梦校专业只有百分之五十沾边,然后我又有点憨,全文逻辑乱七八糟,自己看了都焦虑。想找人改改,但是之前找过的Adam感觉比较适合润色,专业性可能不够。
特别是再找Neharika之前还踩雷了,浪费了44刀呜呜呜。
首先在大概看完我的PS初稿以后,跟我说确实存在一些balbala的问题,然后问我申请动机,以及可否看看CV。
然后她给了我两个版本,一个是在原稿的基础上提出了很多很多意见+改动了UK不会用的单词和表达方式+语法+时态问题。另一个是根据她觉得比较适合的叙述顺序,重新对PS的内容进行了调整(在改了以上提到毛病的基础上)。我觉得有些意见真的不错,对思路会很有帮助。比如希望xxx句用词更convincing或者rewrite in a clearer way
复制了部分她的反馈~
Language -
I have corrected grammar and rephrased quite a few sentences to make them clearer and effective. I also left the spellings in the UK format and replaced a few words to suit their language better.
Structure and Flow of the essay -
I found that around 2-3 sentences/ideas were repetitive, so I merged them together and deleted some parts to avoid making the essay concise. I hope that is ok! :)
I also felt the flow of the essay could be improved by moving some sentences around - so that similar points are clubbed together in paragraphs. I agree with you that the initial logical flow that you had wasn't very convincing. I changed the intro slightly and added some sentences to bridge the gap between your past (科目) and your future aspirations (科目) to make the essay better.
补充内容 (2021-10-13 14:05 +8:00):
贴贴昨天二稿以后找她帮忙解惑了一下 关于是应该在第一段平铺直叙 还是进行一两句背景铺垫再开始叙述 她给我的解答(她认为1更好)
Also, it is a pretty honest version where we are not hiding the fact that your future aspirations and past experiences are not a perfect match but are kind of related. People change from one field to another all the time and the university understands that we might have changing preferences over the years. They don't make a decision based ONLY on that! :)