请教这种情况要不要给娃换班

我家男娃儿今年五年级，成绩还行吧，从二年级开始一直有读年级上的PA(project arrow)班的(每班2-3个学生每天多上一些课)。最近发生了几件事，让我心里觉得很不舒服，想过来问问各位人父人母的建议：

第一件事是，几周前他们带班的老师给我发了一封邮件说我家娃带了Pokemon card去班上在上课的时候拿出来玩，影响了课堂的秩序。对于这种情况我是坚决不允许的，所以当时就狠狠的训了娃一通，他可能看我在气头上，就也没太反驳。事后，我给老师回复了一封表达歉意和愿意共同促进娃的邮件。这个老师没有回复我。
但是事情没完，过了两周，另一封这个老师的邮件又过来了，这次说她看到我家娃在她让用Chromebook做word analysis的时候在搜索Pokemon card的storage， 并且还注意到他打开了很多的页面都是关于这个的。 我当时的气愤可想而知，当天晚上就勒令娃把所有关于Pokemon的一切东西上缴，待事后改正了再发回给他。这次他激烈的反驳，说他就是在按照老师的要求在搜索因为老师在说要他们写一个description about storage。 我当时也是太生气，根本没听他辩解，直接把所有的卡片还有各种storage以及他的pokemon go 账号统统删除了。然后依旧发信给老师道歉，表明我们很重视，也表达了老师严格要求的谢意，这个老师依旧不回复。现在想想我当时的做法确实有欠考虑，冲动真的是魔鬼啊，但是当时我并没有觉得，而已主管觉得孩子在学校调皮捣蛋老师跟家长反映是天经地义的，我小时候就没少被老爹揍。

真正让我觉得有点奇怪的是最近的发生的另一件事，某天中午突然接到学校的电话问我孩子是不是生病了，为什么absent了。脑子一下子就嗡的一下，这事真是可大可小，因为我早上看着他上校车走的，并且最近学区这边有几件匿名威胁学校的事情发生，虽然都没有下文，但是也说明最近这边环境可能不好。我马上就直接大老远的要赶去学校看看发生了什么事，就在刚回到半路，学校又来电话了，说老师早上签到的时候因为我家娃在食堂领早饭耽误了就没有签上，娃现在学校好好的上课呢。 虚惊一场，之余，我不禁想了一下，他们班上也就20来个人，这么大一个活人，作为老师难道都不知道去补签一下这个学生么？从这时起我开始觉得是不是这个老师有点不负责任或者就是根本针对我家娃，事后我倒是没跟孩子提我的猜测。但是所有的这些猜测在后来孩子和他妈妈的聊天里面都得到了证实。

就在昨天，我家ld找到对我说，娃跟她说了一些事情让她很不舒服，让我想想办法看看怎么办：他们的老师有几个特别喜欢的学生（大部分是高加索），即使这些学生做了非常出格的事情，老师也就只口头嬉笑的说“Don't do that sily things"。就没下文了。但是他们班上有我家娃和另一个亚裔孩子（印裔的，也在PA），就特别的被针对，我家娃有一次是因为老师那帮宠儿们拿了一个足球上课的时候踢到他身上了，他跟他们争论，结果单单我家娃被老师一通训。那个烙印的孩子有次上课在桌子上用marker画东西，被老师看到了，这老师马上变脸停下来课，对着全班同学大声喊说要给拿孩子的parent发信让他们知道他在学校干这么shame（据说是原话，我没找娃落实，怕让他加深对老师不好的印象）的事情。最后我家娃跟ld说他是觉得这个老师very unfair。

听完我心里也挺不舒服，首先，娃这刚上5年级，以后还有一年，并且这5年级也是挺重要的。 如果因为这个老师这样的做法让他厌学了，实在是影响太大。并且，我还做了一件事，我检查了娃的Chromebook的历史记录，找到老师当天说他搜Pokemon card的记录，确实正如我家娃所说，他就只打开了两个Google的页面，没有任何其他的记录。 根本不存在像这个老师所说很多页面的情况。再加上几次三番我给她发的邮件，她一封都没有回复过，这也进一步印证了我对这个老师的判断，我觉得她估计就是有点这种racism的倾向。

不管怎样吧，我自己并没有跟娃提这个事情，毕竟不想让他从小就种下这种想法。但是我觉得我还是得采取点动作，不知道各位版上有经验的娃爸娃妈们有什么建议，有没有哪位之前也有这个问题，换班级或者学校？提前拜谢，🙏

附上之前她发给我的一封告状的邮件截图

我觉得你要做的第一件事是向你的孩子道歉。你有没有注意到他跟妈妈说了却不跟你说。
我小时候也遇到过很糟糕的老师，但是发生了不愉快的事，我父母一直都选择相信我支持我。学校里的事情并没有对我造成很大影响，并且我上小学就知道学到知识最重要，老师的态度和打分是主观的。
但是为数不多的几次我妈让我失望的时刻，我一直都记得。
我觉得你的娃很聪明，他从老师身上找毛病而不是从自己身上。如果你的娃真的“厌学”，我觉得八成不是因为老师毕竟老师的形象在他眼里已经坍塌了。倒更可能是因为一个不分青红皂白怒吼，并且站在他鄙夷的老师一边的那个家长。

看了楼主的描述之后非常气愤，这是很明显的racism，专门针对你的孩子穿小鞋。楼主一定要站在孩子的一方，对抗这种恶劣的歧视行为，不要下次轻易和这种心机这么重的“老师”邮件道歉，不然她更把你和你孩子当软柿子捏。

这些邮件都要escalate给校领导，说明原委。有些“老师”根本不配当老师。并且从孩子口中多问一些发生过的事例，一一列举出来发送给校领导，曝光这个“老师”的恶劣歧视行径。

并且一定要考虑转校或者转班，不然对孩子的身心影响太大了。


Subject: Urgent Concerns Regarding Teacher Conduct and Racism in the Classroom

Dear [School Principal's Name],

I hope this email finds you in good health. I am writing to express my deep concerns about recent incidents involving my child, [Child's Name], who is currently in [Grade Level], under the supervision of [Teacher's Name]. It has come to my attention that there are serious issues regarding my child's treatment in the classroom, which I believe require immediate attention and investigation.

Over the past few weeks, my child has been subjected to unjust and prejudiced treatment by [Teacher's Name]. The incidents I will describe are deeply troubling and have raised concerns about the teacher's professionalism and behavior.

False Accusations: Several weeks ago, [Teacher's Name] contacted me via email, alleging that my child had brought Pokémon cards to class and disrupted the learning environment. I addressed this issue with my child, and he admitted to the mistake. However, it is crucial to note that my child had already been reprimanded for this incident, and we apologized promptly to [Teacher's Name]. Despite our efforts to resolve the matter amicably, she never responded to our apology or acknowledged our commitment to ensuring a better classroom environment.

Unsubstantiated Claims: More recently, another concerning incident occurred when [Teacher's Name] accused my child of searching for Pokémon cards during a class assignment involving Chromebooks. She alleged that he had opened numerous tabs related to Pokémon cards, jeopardizing his schoolwork. However, upon investigating his Chromebook history, I found that there were only two open Google pages, all relevant to the tasks during  class, directly contradicting [Teacher's Name]'s claims.

Unequal Treatment: [Child's Name] has informed us that [Teacher's Name] seems to favor certain students, most of whom are of Caucasian descent, regardless of their behavior. Even when these students engage in inappropriate actions, she responds with leniency and humor. In contrast, my child and another Asian student have been disproportionately targeted for minor infractions, receiving harsh reprimands and public humiliation.

What raised further concerns was a recent incident in which I received a call from the school, inquiring about my child's absence due to illness during lunchtime. This alarmed me since I had personally seen my child board the school bus earlier that day. Upon receiving the call, I was on my way to the school, but before I could arrive, the school called again, stating that my child was indeed present and accounted for in class. This incident left me puzzled and raised questions about the teacher’s communication and record-keeping.

What deeply troubles me is that all these incidents seem to be interconnected, and my child has confided in me about something that has made him uncomfortable. According to [Child's Name], [Teacher's Name] seems to show favoritism towards certain students, predominantly those of Caucasian descent. Even when these favored students engage in disruptive behavior, [Teacher's Name] tends to downplay it with casual remarks like "Don't do that silly thing," without any consequences.

In stark contrast, [Child's Name] and another student of Asian descent have faced unjust treatment from [Teacher's Name]. For instance, when my child was accidentally hit by a football kicked by one of these favored students, he was the only one reprimanded. Similarly, when the other student was caught drawing on the desk with a marker, [Teacher's Name] publicly berated them in front of the entire class, threatening to inform their parents about the "shameful" act.

These incidents have left my child feeling marginalized, unfairly treated, and discouraged about their educational experience. [Teacher's Name] have deeply distressed my child and created an unwelcome and hostile learning environment. I strongly believe that these actions by [Teacher's Name] are indicative of racial bias, and it is essential that this matter is investigated thoroughly to ensure that every student is treated fairly and equally.

Given the gravity of these allegations and the evidence pointing towards discriminatory behavior, I kindly request a thorough and impartial investigation into [Teacher's Name]'s conduct. It is crucial to ensure that every student, regardless of their background, is treated fairly and with the respect they deserve. Additionally, I urge you to take appropriate actions based on the findings of this investigation to prevent any further harm to students and to maintain a nurturing educational environment.

I believe it is essential for us, as educators and parents, to foster an environment where all students are treated fairly and equally. It is my hope that you will investigate these incidents thoroughly and take appropriate action to ensure that such incidents do not recur. Our children deserve to learn in a safe, respectful, and unbiased environment.

I believe that a swift and comprehensive response is necessary to rectify this situation and ensure that my child, along with all students at [School Name], can learn in a safe, inclusive, and nurturing environment. I look forward to hearing from you and working together to address these concerns promptly. My primary goal is to ensure that [School Name] remains a place where every student can thrive and learn without fear of discrimination or unfair treatment.

I trust that you will address these concerns seriously and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation promptly.

Thank you for your immediate attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]
[Your Contact Information]

补充内容 (2023-12-27 15:17 +08:00):

欢迎加米～

看到我ptsd犯了...你应该好好跟你孩子沟通，动不动就教训和删除账号，你是什么年代的家长啊。而且上课时间搜别的东西能怎样的，我开太无聊的会都有时候随便打开新闻看看，一个小孩子为什么要承受这么多。
你真的太可怕了。你和你们老师都有挺可怕的。希望你好好反思下

确实现在很内疚，你说的对，楼主就是打算正式的跟娃道个歉。多谢支持

hi there....

这什么老师，一共才几个学生，就there

我看了下这个老师写邮件的措辞，很明显TA也不怎么尊重楼主，语气很随便，也没有任何真的关心您孩子的感觉。这种情况下如果是我，我会这么做：先不回老师邮件，先和孩子沟通，弄清楚孩子对事情原委的描述。如果真的孩子有错再教育不迟。如果事情和老师反应的情况有任何出入（比如孩子提到的不公平，打开的页面数量和老师说的也不一样），回复老师要求老师、您、孩子三方当面沟通了解情况。语气可以礼貌，但在弄清楚之前不要道歉，也不要感谢，最多说句“Thanks for reaching out and letting me know” 楼主之前这么不分青红皂白的反应，没有师德的老师一看您就很好拿捏，哪会尊重您的孩子呢？

感谢各位的批评 楼主确实要好好反省 同时也想听一下各位有没有建议 比如换班或者怎么跟学校沟通？

就算查pokemon也没啥吧，it was my favorite video game franchise growing up and I turned out okay. My parents confiscated my gameboy at some point for playing too much pokemon and I hated them for it for a long time. I'm older now and understand why they did what they did, but I do believe they could have handled things (a lot) better.

这老师过分了，他管不了小孩子吗？啥事都要找家长

一遇到可能有点问题的老师就想换班或者是转校还是不可取的，这不就是逃避嘛。看看能不能想办法解决，如果我是你的话，第一，老师不回邮件我肯定会多发几次邮件去追一追这个事情，告诉老师你跟孩子已经聊过了，孩子也表示同意，问问老师孩子现在课堂表现怎么样。如果还是不回，尝试约1on1当面跟老师聊一聊如何保证沟通顺畅的问题。如果都不行，保存好相关邮件之类的证据，直接给学校校长、副校长发邮件，约三方会议，告诉他们你现在非常有concern，孩子在学校也feel bad，说出你的怀疑，让学校去调查，老师自己自证清白。第二，关于是不是fair这个问题，孩子也大了，可以跟他聊聊，世界上本来就没有绝对fair的事情，就像老师就是有可能更喜欢别的孩子而不是不喜欢你家孩子。他肯定也有更喜欢的老师，这是没问题的。我个人觉得，在孩子的教育上，没必要老师一发邮件告诉你孩子有个什么不适当的行为你就说sorry，先问问孩子是不是这么回事，搞清楚到底发生了什么，另外也没什么好sorry的，又不是屡教不改你们不配合，老师如果觉得孩子在学校有什么不合适的行为他的责任就是帮助他改正，家长配合教育就行了。