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题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Cooperative ability is more important than leadership in today’s world.
正文：Have you ever wonder how to success in contemporary society, having the ability of cooperative or having the ability of leadership? However, as far as I am concerned, I consider the collaborative ability plays a more significant role in people’s further development than leadership. I feel this in two approaches, which I will explore in the following essay.
First and foremost, the cooperative ability is conductive to expand one’s social networks. To be more specific, the people who own the capacity of collaborative usually have harmonious relationships with their colleagues. It is widely acknowledged that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, which means those kinds of people are more likely to exchanging their ideas with their colleagues and learning from each other. Obviously, they are capable of getting advice from their friend when they are facing some obstacles. Consequently, they are more likely to obtain further development in their career, since their abilities are progressively improved. For example, Chester, one of my best friends, is a man who is good at finding cooperative ways. Apparently, he is able to successfully deal with relationships with each other, and he is very popular. Of course, he always ask his friends for help when he is facing some problems, and his friends give him some excellent solutions. Clearly, he is able to finish some intricate questions even if he has no knowledge of it. As a result, he gets recommendations from his boss, his coworkers and his clients. Thus, from the angle of how to success, the more cooperative they are, the easily they will acquire success in their profession.
Furthermore, the collaborative ability is beneficial to our work efficiency. With the job markets are becoming gloomy and competitions are increasingly fierce, it is more and more hard for people to find a decent and suitable job. However, if you are a person who owns the ability of cooperative, you would have a group of friends who can help you. It goes without saying that the man who having help is more likely to work at leisure, which means you are not too nervous. It widely acknowledge that nervous men is easier to make mistakes, which means you need to pay extra time to fix it. This is why the collaborative person is working in high efficiency. On the contrary, If you are a person who is inclined to work alone. There are a lot of miserable things that you will suffer from. Since you haven’t any friends who can help you, you have to work in pressure. As a result, you are more likely to make blunders, which means you have to pay time to fix those mistakes. Unfortunately, you would feel exhausted, but it is hard for you to finish your works. Finally, you are aware of the ultimate causation of your low efficiency is your reluctance of being cooperative. Consequently, the cooperative man is more likely to have highly work efficiency.
It is true that leadership may play some decisive role in something. However, if we look at this issue from a different perspective, those various opinions also contain some excellent solutions which is conductive to your success. From what has been discussed above, I can draw a conclusion that the cooperative ability is more important than leadership. This is because such ability not only can expand our social networks, but also is conductive to improve our work efficiency.

我现在写成这样，不知道development是不是还有问题........

语法错误太多了，很多时态、词性、搭配方面的问题，看得出来有努力用一些好的词汇、句式、搭配，但是小错误太多了。有的应该就是粗心没注意时态的变化，很多地方该加s没加s，该加ed没加ed，该用比较级没用比较级。有的应该是因为基础不牢没掌握好，像conductive这个词你用了很多遍，但是你想用的应该是conducive吧，而且后面跟的应该是doing sth不是to do，还有success当动词用，collaborative当名词用，more and more hard应该是harder and harder，with the job market becoming不用有are，you haven't any friends应该是you don't have any friends。。。网上有那种查语法错误的网站，写完之后先去查查也好。

544756247 发表于 2018-8-5 09:10
语法错误太多了，很多时态、词性、搭配方面的问题，看得出来有努力用一些好的词汇、句式、搭配，但是小错误 ...

嗯嗯，好啊，谢谢了