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[申请文书] 改了n多遍的PS,要定稿了!请各位看看有没有啥犯傻的地方~~~~~

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                                                                                  Personal Statement.--
Being a hard Sci-Fi fan who admires the heroes searching for techniques to change the world, I always think that I should pursue my life on something that would change the life of human beings. So as long as I knew what energy crisis was, as the energy demand around the world increased rapidly while the conventional energy sources became less and harder to get, I made up my mind to devote myself to sustainable human development and that’s why I would like to apply to your esteemed PhD program in Energy and Resources Group.

However, glancing back in retrospect, my academic experience may seem quite different with others. In 2007, I was admitted to college of Environmental & Resource Science in Zhejiang University as I believed the study here would provide me a sound knowledge of environment science and thus enable me to find the solution of energy problems. During the undergraduate period, the courses of environment school did let me have a fully understanding of biology, chemistry and physics, and equipped me with the experimental skills in both theoretical study and experiment research. However, during the study, I also found out that to solve the problem, techniques in engineering were very necessary and important as it provided the physical basis for scientific research. If I wanted to solve energy problems, engineering measures would be one of the most effective ways. For this reason, I started to take side subjects in Engineering in 2008. As among all the subfields of Engineering, Electrical Engineering can be considered as most indispensable and provides the prerequisite conditions for many other fields like Computer Science, Bioengineering and even space techniques, I decided to study techniques in EE to solve environmental problems. As the courses system at Zhejiang University provides for students to take any courses so long as there was no conflict in scheduling, I registered for courses in environment resources and EE. With the schools offering these courses located on different campuses, I had to struggle with traffic conditions to show up in classes, somehow influencing my scores. But I did enjoy the satisfaction derived from the knowledge I learnt and the difficulties I went through. Eventually I finished all the courses required for a minor certification which indicates my self-study ability and received the systematical training as a researcher with an interdisciplinary background.
. Χ
Later, being a person who searched for unceasing progress and personal challenges, I took part in the Graduate Candidate Test in 2011 and was admitted by the college of Electrical Engineering in Zhejiang University. During my research in the graduate period, I choose projects related to renewable energy sources and tried to find solutions of the problems caused by them, so as to promote their application in the power grid. As the renewable energy sources (e.g. PV, wind power) in electrical grid are uncontrollable, the electrical intelligence technique for monitoring, operation and management is very important. So my first project was a national program related to new energy sources (e.g. tidal power, PV, wind power) development in Zhoushan Islands in Zhejiang. I designed a human-machine interface for PC/converter communication with LabVIEW and data acquisition hardware to control the converter and monitor the power quality in the wind generation system. The program was later developed for grid integration system which was positively evaluated by specialists in Zhejiang University and would be used for micro-grid power quality monitoring in the research center.

The project stimulated me to think about deep-seated reasons of the concerns raised by new energy sources, and I tried to find strategies to improve the performance of new energy sources to stabilize the fluctuation in the grid voltage and current caused by them. So I applied to join the PMSG based wind energy conversion system (WECS) to do research on the generation and conversion system and tried to find better strategies for abilities like Low Voltage Ride-Through (LVRT) and Reactive Power Compensation (RPC). Being the only master student in the team, I did deep research on AC/DC converters used in wind power conversion system, especially its modulation method and driving control strategy, and got two papers published on my research, in which there were detailed analysis on formation and regulation of ac-side current and dc-link voltage ripples in the converter and proposed new methods for parameter estimation.

During the research, I happened to know the Energy and Resources Group in your university, a group aiming at doing cutting edge research to solve environmental and social problems. As I have a dream to make contribution to the development of sustainable environment, especially the new energy technology, I want to get further training in your university with the most advanced academic environment, and what’s more important, I want to meet people who have the same dream as I do. There are little universities that have such interdisciplinary graduate program, which combines experts from diverse fields. The international perspective and professional expertise of your research also confirms my determination of applying to your university. Although I am not the student with the highest GPA and English scores, I must be the one with the greatest enthusiasm and motivation, and I believe with my persistence and research skills, I would bring my tremendous potential to the virtually unlimited future of environmental sustainable development.

上一篇:要等材料都寄到了才能提交申请吗
下一篇:为一个有关deadline的问题。
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yagamy 2013-11-22 14:02:02 | 只看该作者
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During my research in the graduate period, I choose projects related to renewable energy sources and tried to find solutions of the problems caused by them

lz要注意一下时态呀
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nanawang222 2013-11-22 14:09:26 | 只看该作者
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第二段连着用了两个however好像有点奇怪,是不是去掉一个?或者换成别的词?ps段首用however还挺少见的
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zkh1991 2013-11-22 17:01:17 | 只看该作者
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Although I am not the student with the highest GPA and English scores, I must be the one with the greatest enthusiasm and motivation
必删.
.--
最后一句竟然4句都是I开头 改改改
然后最后一段好像对哪个学校都适用。。。提交的时候最好针对学校加点细节 比如哪个设备好 哪个faculty很match之类的
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 楼主| 菠萝飞 2013-11-22 18:23:51 | 只看该作者
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zkh1991 发表于 2013-11-22 17:01
Although I am not the student with the highest GPA and English scores, I must be the one with the gr ...

哦!多谢提醒!犯傻了。。。。
最后一段的确写到后面就没气了,回去改~~~~~~~
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pigonline 2013-11-22 23:29:23 | 只看该作者
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1.glancing back in retrospect..你单独用glancing back或者in retrospect都行,拼在一起太别扭 ..
2.equipped me with the experimental skills in both theoretical study and experiment research 不对吧
应该是equipped me with both theoretical study and experiment research
3.For this reason -> For these reasons
4.I decided to study techniques in EE to solve environmental problems. 具体一点说说你理解EE在解决问题中多么有用嘛,这么写好虚哦
5.As the courses system at Zhejiang University provides for students to take any courses so long as there was no conflict in scheduling, I registered for courses in environment resources and EE. 废话可删
6. I had to struggle with traffic conditions to show up in classes, somehow influencing my scores.
理由很牵强,其实可以不提
7. During my research in the graduate period, I choose projects related to renewable energy sources and tried to find solutions of the problems caused by them->During my time in graduate school, I choose projects related ..... 还是觉得这句有点怪怪的,不顺特别是find solutions of the problems caused by them
8.作为一个研究生,你应该详细写你的研究program,而不是一句话带过.你都发了两篇论文了,详细写写你遇到了什么困难,怎么解决困难的不很好吗?
9.During the research -> During my research process
10.最后一段推倒重写吧,前半部分都是空话.别人不需要你吹嘘他多强,更在意你关系哪个人具体研究什么方向.
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 楼主| 菠萝飞 2013-11-23 10:50:41 | 只看该作者
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pigonline 发表于 2013-11-22 23:29
1.glancing back in retrospect..你单独用glancing back或者in retrospect都行,拼在一起太别扭
2.equippe ...

. .и非常感谢!好详细啊~~~
现在回过来看也觉得很多话有没有都一样。。。。。继续改,废话都删掉,写些实际的事情!
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 楼主| 菠萝飞 2013-11-23 16:37:10 | 只看该作者
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yagamy 发表于 2013-11-22 14:02 . Waral dи,
During my research in the graduate period, I choose projects related to renewable energy sources and ...

哎呀!最后一次改完了就松懈了,这要是交了直接被Pass掉。。。。
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 楼主| 菠萝飞 2013-11-23 16:37:48 | 只看该作者
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nanawang222 发表于 2013-11-22 14:09
第二段连着用了两个however好像有点奇怪,是不是去掉一个?或者换成别的词?ps段首用however还挺少见的

有道理,果然自己闷头看这些都是看不出来的
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