个人终极PS，求拍砖(本帖第二页附上了修订版的，诚邀大家继续拍砖)

In my formative years, my parents often taught me to cherish education and independent thought. With the significant value of the pursuit of excellence, as well as perseverance, I always enjoyed embracing and overcoming life’s challenges, instead of evading.

    From my early age, having a portable radio indeed intrigued my interest and thus inspired me to explore further in the territory of Electrical Engineering. As a consequence, through the Chinese National College Entrance Exam, during which I ranked 1410th among 220,000 candidates, I was selected into the Electrical Engineering program at an elite Chinese university, XX University.

    During my first semester in the university, I went into Professor L’s research group in the XX National Laboratory for XXX. With helping to do some of experiment about the laser speckle imaging, I completed high constant current LED drivers there. Besides, I attended XXXX International Meetings there and learnt some latest development of photoelectronics.

    After finishing some course designs such as a MATLAB program for speech signal sampling and spectral analysis, a 51-single-chip based traffic light model, a 51-single-chip based temperature gathering and displaying system, a variable capacitance diode frequency modulator and a quadrature detector, I participated in the Student Research Training Program (SRTP). The project, a model of Z-source grid connected inverter, acquired approval from XX University. I also took part in the Summer Vocation Social Practice to investigate the employment demands of local electronic industry

    In 2010, I went to the Laboratory for wireless technology in XX University (main part of XX Provincial Key Laboratory for Wireless Communication) and learnt from Professor Y about XXX radar. A radar responder for XXX Radar (this radar is a project of National High-Tech Research and Development Program of China or 863 Program) became my recent completed project there. I also learnt some researches on the MUSIC Algorithm and radio propagation over rough sea surface there.

    Through these projects above, I have not only learned many practical techniques but also acquired a solid theoretical background and a broad scope in scientific research in my fields of interest. Now I started my undergraduate final project. It is about the electromagnetic cavity effects from the transmitter. My work is mainly about using FEKO software to simulate the RF environment. I owe much of my achievement in these research projects to my undergraduate study in XX University.

    The Radio is a National Key Discipline in XX University. Having immersed myself in this rigorous undergraduate program, I have become well versed in my chosen Major, together with a consolidated grounding in its allied disciplines. My established interest on electrical engineering was intensified with further study and I obtained very high scores and ranks in related courses such as Methods of Mathematical Physics, Electromagnetic Wave and Field, Electromagnetic Wave Propagation, Microwave Principles, RF Circuit as well as High Frequency Electronic Circuit and Low Frequency Circuit. My low scores are mainly in Elective Courses because I selected too many and didn’t withdraw. Anyway, I didn’t fail in any exam. I have learnt how to deal with the similar situation now.

    Research in electrical engineering has achieved great progress. And electromagnetics is an epitome. For example, because the finite element mesh generation and data pre-process of Finite Element Method are very complex, scholars start new research on element-free method. The accurate modeling for RFIC is also very promising because commercial software can be helpless with the increasing of frequency.

    Finally, I made a decision that I should further my education by pursuing a PhD degree in Electrical Engineering. I believe I am competent to match my advisor’s research well for three reasons. Firstly, I have strong interest on electromagnetics. Secondly, my activities above contributed to my indispensible practical ability which is necessary to researches. Last but not least, I have a solid theoretical foundation in relative courses.

    Naturally, I am contenting to a comforting sense of security should I pursue an electrical engineer career in my home country. However, I find myself currently standing in the shallow end of the pool, and to accomplish my dreams, to draw out the person within me, and to attain the Holy Grail in the field of Electrical Engineering, I am required to venture into those deep waters. Consequently, I elect to apply to the PhD in Electrical Engineering at the D University in order to gain a new range of educational and living experiences. With a solid reputation among scholars and students, some faculty members’ research on electromagnetics there appealed to me greatly. For examples, I knew a cloaking device capable of hiding a 3D object in free space from microwaves has been created there. I also learnt Dr. A’s research on the Adaptive Integral Method and some other researchers’ work.

    If I can be accepted by D University, I can cooperate with others to make quick progress in electromagnetics. To pursue this PhD with enthusiasm and zeal, I shall mingle theories with practical applications, and bring to the table interesting problems from my experience and past education.

    Driven by my interest and capacity in electromagnetics, I would expect myself to be a senior professional in the future. Today, the great progress has been made in many areas such as radars, antennas and electromagnetic compatibility. I believe pursuing a PhD degree at your renowned Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering would be a most reasonable extension of my academic pursuit and a major step forward toward my career goal.

略长了点，段落太多了，读着乱。我想浏览的看很难在抓住重点。

没重点。看了前3段基本就没动力往下看了。

整体上看，找不到一个focus贯穿全文。

分段来看，每段第一句中心句都不够清晰。

另外，ps基本的通病。很多地方在tell而不是show。

再看看端木那些指导PS的帖子。

太长了吧， 除非有的学校要求500字， 感觉ps最好600-700字就行了，太长了教授根本没时间看， 还没到你的重点呢教授就放弃了。

回复 2# flyinglyf
这篇ps有八九百字，太长了吗？那该删哪几部分好呢？

个人觉得这个略像简历加长版，研究亮点想法木有太体现出来

回复 3# nooneknow


    这篇是按这样的架构写的：个人的某段经历给的motivation（第二段）+科研经历（第三段到第六段）+课程学习（第七段）+学科前景个人看法（第八段）+我能fit对方program的三点（第九段）+为何去他们学校及对他们学校的了解（第十段）+入学后能给他们带来什么（十一段）+未来展望（十二段）

回复 4# xn8637
这篇好像是890个字，应该没比700字长出很多吧？

lz你确定要写I ranked 1410th among 220,000 candidates么……
还不如说 top 0.7% among 220,000 candidates

回复 7# 754860166


    我觉得可以把科研经历合一下，可能是因为段落比较多吧，所以大家才觉得长吧。。。
   个人意见。。。 。
    同在为PS纠结。。。