824就考了，求各位再改改我的作文，求狠批！谢谢~

8.24就考了。。在此一举啊。。
.1point3acres
我的作文，小毛病很多，时态问题，单复数这种。。。也请求大大们帮助指出。

再次感谢！

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题目：

Governments should focus its budgets more on environmentalprotection than on economic development.

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思路：不同意

1，经济发展保证生存，政府首要职责是维持社会安定。
.google  и
2，经济促进科技，科技为环境问题带来好处，减少开支消费。

3，让步段，人的健康确实受环境影响，但是没有经济发展保障，社会不稳定。

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When watching TV or reading newspaper, you will never failto be shocked by the various news about extremely serious environmentalproblems. Some people, thus, maintain that our government should put theenvironment protection on the first place instead of economic development.Whereas form my point of view, it's more of significance for government tofocus its budgets on the economic development.

Some people hold the view that the poor environment ismainly caused by the rapid increase of economy, such as the more and morefactories. These people only see the bad face of the economic growth while ignorethe benefits brought by the high developed economy. Honestly speaking, if ourgovernment doesn't put enough money on the economic development, we are unableto enjoy a range of shops, markets, tall buildings and so on in the cities. What'smore, our salaries will also decrease because of the undeveloped economy, whichmay even force the poor fail to make a living and lead to an increase in crime.As we know, it's government's responsibility to ensure the social stability andhelp people survive, so no wonder should government focus its budgets more oneconomic development.

Another reason is that high developed economy brings withthe development in science and technology, which makes a important contributionto the protection of environment. In other words, science and technology playsa crucial role in saving the money spent on the environment improvement. Forinstance, according to a recent survey, every year it costs China governmentmillions of yuans to solve the water pollution problem. It's still a hugenumber compared with what spent on the economy. Later a new technique isapplied and as is said in this report, 30 percent of the money is saved throughthe new way. This example is only a typical one while it is widely acknowledgedthat new science and technology brought by economic increase can reduce themoney used in solving environmental problems.

Admittedly, we should not ignore the fact that people's healthis threatened by the harsh environment all the time. It is very necessary forour government put some money on this issue. However, if a city is full ofpeople who can't afford a meal while crimes happen frequently, obviously thegovernment should firstly solve the economic problems and then environmental.Thereby, more money should be used in economic growth.


In conclusion, economic development is more essential thanenvironment protection. Only by focusing its budgets more on the former, cangovernment take its responsibility for leading its people to a wonderful life.

Governments should focus its budgets moreon environmental protection than on economic development.

In the era of information explosion, newspapers,you will never fail to be shocked by the various news, transmitted by television,newspapers, etc., about extremely serious environmental problems. Some people,thus, maintain that our government should put environment protection in thefirst place instead of economic development. Whereas form my point of view,it's of more significance for government to focus its budgets on the economicdevelopment.

Some people hold the view that the poorenvironment is mainly caused by the rapid increase of economy, such as the moreand more factories. These people only see the negative side of the economicgrowth while ignore the bright benefits brought by high developing economy.Honestly speaking, if our government doesn't put enough money on the economicdevelopment, we are not able to enjoy a range of convenience services, such as shops,markets, tall buildings in cities. What's more, our salaries will not be sohigh because of the undeveloped economy, which may even force the poor fail tomake a living and lead to an increase in social crime. As we know, it'sgovernment's responsibility to ensure the social stability and help peoplesurvive, only with better developed economic can the government realize thesethings.

Another reason is that high developedeconomy brings about the development in science and technology, which makes greatcontributions to the  environment protection.In other words, science and technology plays a crucial role in saving the moneyspent on the environment improvement. For instance, according to a recentsurvey, every year it costs China government millions of yuans to solve thewater pollution problem. The cost we spent on environmental protection is muchmore than which we spent on economic growth. With the help of new techniquessaid in this report, 30 percent of the cost is saved. This example is only atypical one while it is widely acknowledged that science and new technologybrought about economic increase which can reduce the money spent in solvingenvironmental problems.

Admittedly, we should not ignore the factthat people's health is greatly affected by the environment all the time. It isvery necessary for our government put some money on this issue. However, if acity full of people who can't afford themselves while crimes happen frequently,obviously the government should firstly solve the economic problems rather thanthe environment. Thereby, more money should be spent in economic growth.

In conclusion, economic development is moreessential than environment protection. Only by focusing its budgets more on theformer, can governments take their responsibility for leading people to awonderful life.

整天还不错
. From 1point 3acres bbs鉴于LZ近期快考T了 改完语法、词汇错误后
又花了接近一个小时给文章从头到尾润了一下 希望能对LZ及大家有所帮助 预祝LZ顺利~
欢迎大家指正


1、When watching TV or reading newspaper, you will never failto be shocked by the various news about extremely serious environmentalproblems.
In the era of information explosion,  you will never fail to be shocked by the various news, transmitted by television, newspapers, etc., about extremely serious environmental problems.
2、put environment protection in the first place instead of economic development
把……放在首位，不是put sth on the first place
3、it's more of significance for government tofocus its budgets on the economic development.
it's of more significance for government to focus its budgets on the economic development.
be of significance……有意义
4、These people only see the bad face of the economic growth while ignorethe benefits brought by the high developed economy.
These people only see the negative side of the economic growth while ignore the bright benefits brought by high developing economy.
后面应该是developing，强调正在进行的过程，如果已经是结果了，文章再来讨论如何选择已经没有必要了……
5、we are unableto enjoy a range of shops, markets, tall buildings and so on in the cities.
we are not able to enjoy a range of convenience services, such as shops, markets, tall buildings in cities.
enjoy 享受的应该是服务……
6、What'smore, our salaries will also decrease because of the undeveloped economy, whichmay even force the poor fail to make a living and lead to an increase in crime.
What's more, our salaries will not be so high because of the undeveloped economy, which may even force the poor fail to make a living and lead to an increase in social crime.
工资不是降低，而是不如现在这么高（我觉得细细体会下还是有区别的……）
7、As we know, it's government's responsibility to ensure the social stability and help people survive, so no wonder should government focus its budgets more oneconomic development.
As we know, it's government's responsibility to ensure the social stability and help people survive, only with better developed economic can the government realize these things.
. Waral dи,8、Another reason is that high developed economy brings withthe development in science and technology, which makes a important contributionto the protection of environment.
Another reason is that high developed economy brings about the development in science and technology, which makes great contributions to the  environment protection.
9、It's still a hugenumber compared with what spent on the economy. Later a new technique isapplied and as is said in this report, 30 percent of the money is saved throughthe new way. This example is only a typical one while it is widely acknowledgedthat new science and technology brought by economic increase can reduce themoney used in solving environmental problems.
The cost we spent on environmental protection is much more than which we spent on economic growth. With the help of new techniques said in this report, 30 percent of the cost is saved. This example is only a typical one while it is widely acknowledged that science and new technology brought about economic increase which can reduce the money spent in solving environmental problems.
10、Admittedly, we should not ignore the fact that people's healthis threatened by the harsh environment all the time.
Admittedly, we should not ignore the fact that people's health is greatly affected by the environment all the time.
11、However, if a city is full ofpeople who can't afford a meal while crimes happen frequently, obviously thegovernment should firstly solve the economic problems and then environmental.Thereby, more money should be used in economic growth.
However, if a city full of people who can't afford themselves and crimes happen frequently, obviously the government should firstly solve the economic problems rather than the environment. Thereby, more money should be spent in economic growth.
afford themselves 负担自己，养活自己
rather than 而不是
12、Only by focusing its budgets more on the former, cangovernment take its responsibility for leading its people to a wonderful life.
Only by focusing its budgets more on the former, can governments take their responsibility for leading people to a wonderful life.

hchina2010
2013-08-19

hdchina2010 发表于 2013-8-19 20:04
Governments should focus its budgets moreon environmental protection than on economic development.
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先给好评！再仔细学习！
这么认真的修改和润色~~~真是太感动了~ ^.^ hd真是大好人一个！！
再次感谢！！