TPO2独立写作：讲实话是人际关系中最重要的考虑因素

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When I was young, my parents always educate me to be an honest man. That means I should tell the truth under no circumstance. I strongly support the idea that it's very important to tell the truth in any relationship between people.

Some people might refute my point by the example between doctors and patients. Sometimes doctors will tell a 'white lie' to the patients when the patients are diagnosed with very serious disease such as cancer. I admit this will alleviate the stress of patients at that time. However, truth cannot be hiden forever. The patients will be frustrated when they figure out they are  diagnosed with such vital disease. What's more, they might not believe in the doctors anymore. This case suggests that tell the truth is the most important thing even the truth is crucial.

Moreover, always telling the truth is beneficial to the development of friendship. Friends are people who help each other and motivate each other. When I was in elementary school, I lost the book which I borrowed from my friend Jack. At that time I don't know what to do and consulted my teacher for help. My teacher is a nice and helpful lady and she asked me to tell the truth to Jack. I followed her advice and told the truth to Jack. To my surprise, Jack forgave me and said that he already knew I lost the book and he found the book on the floor. Let's suppose that if I didn't tell him the truth. He would definitely regard me as a dishonest man and our friendship will end forever.

So from the above example, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.

我觉得LZ写得挺好哒。除了修改少量的语法错误，可以适当增加些过渡，将一些短句合并（特别是丢书事件）来让文章更紧凑。
还有，两点可能有点少，可以再加上对于与父母，恋人关系里讲实话的分析。{:8_242:}

When I was young, my parents always educate me to be an honest man. That means I should tell the truth under any circumstances.【增加过渡】This lesson in life has given me, almost in all the situations, a clean conscience and a peaceful state of mind. Thus I strongly support the idea that it's very important to tell the truth in any relationship between people.

【增加intro】First let's look into some special relationships in everyday life. Some people might refute my point with the famous example between doctors and patients. Sometimes doctors will tell a 'white lie' to the patients when the patients are diagnosed with very serious disease such as cancer. I admit this will alleviate the stress of patients at that time. However, the truth cannot be hidden forever. The patients will be frustrated when they figure out they are diagnosed with such vital disease. What's more, they might not believe in the doctors anymore. This case suggests that telling the truth is the most important thing even the truth is crucial.

Moreover, always telling the truth is beneficial to the development of friendship. Friends are people who help and motivate each other. When I was in elementary school, I lost the book which I borrowed from my friend Jack. At that time I don't know what to do and consulted my teacher for help. My teacher is a nice and helpful lady and she asked me to tell the truth to Jack. I followed her advice and told the truth to Jack. To my surprise, Jack forgave me and said that he already knew I lost the book and he found the book on the floor. Let's suppose that if I didn't tell him the truth. He would definitely regard me as a dishonest man and our friendship will end forever.
【可以再增加对relationships between Lovers/relatives的分析哈】

So from the above example, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.

JustForR 发表于 2013-9-10 13:39
我觉得LZ写得挺好哒。除了修改少量的语法错误，可以适当增加些过渡，将一些短句合并（特别是丢书事件）来让 ...

谢谢JustForR的修改，我感觉经常写作文没有什么说的，而且词汇也用得比较低级，争取今后把背的那些托福的高级词汇用到作文里面

billpeng 发表于 2013-9-10 16:04
谢谢JustForR的修改，我感觉经常写作文没有什么说的，而且词汇也用得比较低级，争取今后把背的那些托福的 ...

嗯 我也觉得用些高级词汇和句型会有帮助的。比较容易掌握的就是若干短句变从句的手法，建议你可以练一练哈。考试加油~