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[T作文-已改] 独立作文Teachers should assign homework for students every day.

[复制链接] |试试Instant~ |t作文-已改, toefl
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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should assign homework for students every day.
提纲:
disagree
too much pressure
need more extracurricular activities
less time to spend with family

自己检查过一遍,分享一下,顺便求改~时间花了一个小时,严重超支,字数是完全够了。。。

Today human society is full of sever competitions, and both government and parents put a high value on children's education. There is a heated/intense/public debate around whether teachers should assign homework for students every day. Although doing homework holds a lot of benefits such as reinforcing students' knowledge, sharping their mind and making them more educated, it also prevent well-rounded development of these children if not handled appropriately.

To begin with, doing homework on a daily basis, in my opinion, will put too much pressure on student. If this kind of pressure increases due to large amount of homework, they are like to feel tired and begin to hold a negative attitude towards study. In this case, a student's passion on study will be seriously diminished. According to the data from a survey leaded by Education Research Center of Sichuan province, students who are assigned the most homework do get high grades in primary school, but most of them don't perform well after the entrance of high school, and some of them even badly hate books and classes and try to escape from them.

Next, it is necessary for children to take part in extracurricular activities, rather spend time to do lots of school assignments every day. Through various activities, their merit such as sense of cooperation, communication skill and ability to express oneself, can be cultured. "Children need to practice their people skill in real everyday life", said a mother from Beijing, who encouraged her son to join the school's Student Union. Involved in many campus activities, the boy became more active than his classmates and good at communication. These merits also facilitate his study, since he was able to communicate efficiently with his teacher and classmates. On the contrary, heavy study tasks usually eliminate this kind of development, which is important for students.

Finally, heavy study assignments will reduce students' time spent with their families. Study or work is just a small part of a person's life, and family is actually playing an essential role in human society. Going out for a picnic, seeing a movie and doing housework with the whole family can help them realize the value of family and develop a sense of responsibility. On the other hand, a child only doing homework every day can just focus on his or her own work and have less chance to learn how to care for the family.

For these reasons, I strongly object to the opinion of some people that students need more study assignments. Education is not just about study from books. In fact, the most efficient education is to let students learn from every aspect of our life, and learn with a happy heart.

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perlin + 15 多谢参与修改活动

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sicilianee 2013-10-26 21:46:00 | 显示全部楼层
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本帖最后由 sicilianee 于 2013-10-26 21:54 编辑

个人意见,lz参考下就好,不对的就当没说。

Today human societyis full of sever competition(不可数只能积累了), and both government and parents put a high value onchildren's education. There is a heated/intense/publicdebate around whether teachers should assign homework for students every day.(太模板化了,建议楼主看下og的写作指导,我个人很讨厌这样的句子,建议删或者改成个问句 Although doinghomework holds a lot of benefits such as reinforcing students' knowledge,sharping their mind and making them more educated, it also prevents well-rounded development of these children ifnot handled appropriately.
建议楼主直接点,不必说太多套话。个人感觉topic sentence太模糊,表述很婉转。而且对立面说了那么多,自己的观点一句带过,比例不当。又放那么不明显的地方。我比较喜欢paraphrase题目,直接回答题目的问题,至少是切题的。


To begin with, doing homework on a daily basis, in myopinion(
建依删), will put toomuch pressure on students. If this kind ofpressure increases due to a large amount ofhomework, they(指代不明) are likely to feel tired and begin to hold a negativeattitude towards study. In this case, a student's passion on study will be seriouslydiminished. According to the data from a survey leaded by Education ResearchCenter of Sichuan province, students who are assigned the most homework do gethigh grades in primary school, but most of them don't perform well after theentrance of high school. Some of them even badlyhate books and classes and try to escape from them.(感觉这句太长,应该是两句比较自然)

Next, it is necessary for children to take part in extracurricular activities,rather than spend time doinglots of school assignments every day. Through various activities, theirmerit such as sense of cooperation, communication skill and ability to expressoneself, can be cultured. "Children need to practice their people skill? in real everyday life", said amother from Beijing, who encouraged her son to join the  student union of theschool(
感觉这样自然点。). Involved in manycampus activities, the boy became more active than his classmates and good atcommunication. The merit also facilitates hisstudy, since he was able to communicate efficiently with his teacher andclassmates. On the contrary, heavy studytasks usually eliminate this kind ofdevelopment, which is important for students.

Finally, heavy study assignments will reduce students' time spent with theirfamilies. Study or work is just a small part of a person's life, and family isactually playing an essential role in human society. Going out for a picnic,seeing a movie and doing housework with the whole family can help them realizethe value of family and develop a sense of responsibility. On the other hand, achild who dose homework all day long
好像不该用分词,我也不确定 can just focus onhis or her own work and has less chance tolearn how to care for the family.

For these reasons, I strongly object to the opinion of some people that students need more study assignments
题目好像不是这么说的. Education is not just about study from books. In fact,the most efficient education is to let students learn from every aspect of ourlife, and learn with a happy heart.
1.建议楼主focus on 两个观点,把观点更充分地展开。毕竟考试只有半小时。我考了两次都只写了两个观点,一次24,一次28,所以也不是一定要三个观点,关键是每个观点fully developed
2.建议lz注意动词搭配,以及各种是否地道的问题。比如绿色标的出我觉得比较奇怪的词,感觉怪怪的。也可能是我少见多怪,但是“用准确的而不是高级的但不确定的表达”是我对托福作文的观点。




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perlin + 81 回答的很好!

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 楼主| smellycat 2013-10-27 13:55:04 | 显示全部楼层
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sicilianee 发表于 2013-10-26 21:46
个人意见,lz参考下就好,不对的就当没说。
Today human societyis full of sever competition(不可数只能 ...

Today human societies is full of sever competition, and both government and parents put a high value on children's education. But what is the best way to educate students? Some people suggest that by assigning students homework every day, something good may happen. I strongly oppose this idea. Since too much school assignment will take up their time for other activities and stress them out, this recommendation actually prevents well-rounded development of students.

To begin with, doing homework on a daily basis will put too much pressure on students. If this kind of pressure increases due to a large amount of homework, the students are likely to feel tired and begin to hold a negative attitude towards study. In this case, a student's passion on study will be seriously diminished. According to the data from a survey leaded by Education Research Center of Sichuan province, students who are assigned the most homework do get high grades in primary school, but most of them don't perform well after the entrance of high school. Some of them even badly hate books and classes and try to escape from them.

Next, it is necessary for children to take part in extracurricular activities, rather than spend time doing lots of school assignments every day. Through various activities, their merit such as sense of cooperation, communication skills and ability to express oneself, can be cultured. "Children need to practice their people skills in real everyday life", said a mother from Beijing, who encouraged her son to join the student union of the school. Involved in many campus activities, the boy became more active than his classmates and good at communication. The merit also facilitates his study, since he was able to communicate efficiently with his teacher and classmates. On the contrary, heavy school assignment usually inhibits this kind of development, which is important for students.

Finally, heavy study assignments will reduce students' time spent with their families. Study or work is just a small part of a person's life, and family is actually playing an essential role in human society. Going out for a picnic, seeing a movie and doing housework with the whole family can help them realize the value of family and develop a sense of responsibility. On the other hand, a child who dose homework every day can just focus on his or her own work and has less chance to learn how to care for the family.

For these reasons, I strongly object to the opinion of some people that homework should be assigned to students on a daily basis. Education is not just about studying from books. In fact, the most efficient education is to let students learn from every aspect of our life, and learn with a happy heart.

非常谢谢你,很有用的建议。我把修改后的版本也贴上。
people skills是我在看范文时积累的单词,之前少加了一个s,这个是正确的用法。
On the other hand, a child who dose homework all day long can just focus on his or her own work and has less chance to learn how to care for the family. 这个是参照新航道参考书上的一个句型写的,但感觉读起来不连贯,也说不清什么原因。后来修改成who does homework every day, 好像要好些。
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 楼主| smellycat 2013-11-22 18:09:26 | 显示全部楼层
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Today both government and parents put a high value on children's education. But what is the best way to educate students? Some people suggest that by assigning students homework every day, some good results will come out. I strongly oppose this idea. Since too much school assignment will take up their time for other activities and stress them out, this recommendation actually prevents well-rounded development of students.

First, doing homework on a daily basis will put too much pressure on students. So a large amount of homework usually makes students feel tired and begin to hold a negative attitude towards study, rather than increase their study performance. In this case, a student's passion on study will be seriously diminished. According to the data from a survey leaded by Education Research Center of Sichuan province, students who are assigned the most homework do get high grades in primary school, but most of them don't perform well after their entrance to high schools. Some of them said that they were tired homework and study, and didn’t want to spend more time on them.

Furthermore, it is necessary for children to take part in extracurricular activities. Through various activities, their merits such as sense of cooperation, communication skills and ability to express oneself, can be cultured. "Children need to take part in extracurricular activities", said a mother from Beijing, who encouraged her son to join the student union of the school. By doing many campus activities, the boy became more active than his classmates and better at communication. These merits also facilitate his study, since he was able to communicate efficiently with his teachers and classmates. However, heavy school assignment usually inhibits this kind of development, which is important for students.

Finally, heavy study assignments will deprive students of time spent with their families. Study is just a small part of children’s life, and family plays a more essential role. Going out for a picnic, seeing a movie and doing housework with the whole family can help them realize the value of family and develop a sense of responsibility. On the other hand, a child who dose homework every day can only focus on his or her own work and has less chance to learn how to care for the family.

For these reasons, I think that homework shouldn’t be assigned to students on a daily basis. Education is not just about studying from books. In fact, the most efficient education is to let students learn from every aspect of our life, and learn with a happy heart.
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