T求改

电视节目的目的是否应该是教育而非娱乐？
Recently, government has restricted the freedom of entertainment on television across the country. To some extent, the freedom of entertainment is abused and efforts attempting to change this situation have received a warm welcome. People have expected more educational programs.
       
Television technology enables people know about the history, present and future in different settings. Hardly anyone can enjoy sitting in front of the TV for the monotonous and predictable entertainment program for more than a few hours, simply for the reason that they are easy to catch and have no surprising. However, programs, including documentary, feature programs, nature science, provide a great amount of educational information and have appealed a growing number of people. Whenever they spend their time watching the TV, people can occasionally know about history events, interests under certain situation after watching a documentary and thus have a new complete understanding after a documentary. Feature programs have never failed to appeal to many people.     They can learn how to cook different kinds of food while listening to the main steps of food-making.


More over, people get used to pay attention to the daily news and commenting on TV. By watching the details of an event, analyzing various kinds of perspectives and comments, people can learn the depth of how the world operates, what regulates the complex market. For example, during the great American economic deception, in order to inspire spirits of millions people, the United States presidents gave millions of talks on TV, radios, which did stimulate all the people.

Esthetically speaking, TV conveys much civilized comforts as a form of art. People commit to each other emotionally, and they trust and provide help whoever needs it. All of these TV programs base on culture aiming at help people get rid from the daily grind of lives and learn a different life style.

Considering all the benefit we get from the TV above, I firmly believe that TV should be an additional education form for all the views. ”

以后麻烦把原题贴上

Recently, government has restricted the freedom of entertainment on television across the country. To some extent, the freedom of entertainment is abused 这句的表述有些让人费解，“娱乐节目泛滥”不是这么说的 and efforts attempting to change this situation have received a warm welcome你是想说“广受好评”嘛？a warm welcome感觉好像是用来描述招待客人之类的. People have expected 这里为什么用现在完成时? more educational programs.
        
Television technology enables people to know about the history, present and future in different settings. Hardly anyone can enjoy sitting in front of the TV for the monotonous and predictable entertainment programs 对于可数名词XXX而言，一般情况下，不是a XXX就是XXXs，一般不会是单独的XXX for more than a few hours, simply for the reason that they are easyeasier to catch and have no surprising词性错误. However, programs, including documentary, feature programs, nature science, provide a great amount of educational information and have appealed a growing number of people. Whenever they spend their time watching the TV, people can occasionally know about history events, interests under certain situation after watching a documentary and thus have a new complete understanding after a documentary. Feature programs have never failed to appeal to many people.     They can learn how to cook different kinds of food while listening to the main steps of food-making. 这段例子举得还算不错，但是还是可以写得更detailed一点，比方说“people can occasionally know about history events”这句换做自己会这么写“By watching National Geographic, students might learn knowledge about the splendid Mayan culture”再来两个类似的句子构成排比


More overMoreover, people get used to paying attention to the daily news and commentingcommentation on TV. By watching the details of an event, analyzing various kinds of perspectives and comments, people can learn the depth of how the world operates, what regulates the complex market. For example, during the great American economic deception 改成Great Depression, in order to inspire spirits of millions people, the United States presidents gave millions of talks on TV, radios, which did stimulate all the people.

Esthetically speaking, TV conveys much civilized comforts as a form of art. People commit to each other emotionally, and they trust and provide help whoever needs it. All of these TV programs base on culture aiming at help people get rid from the daily grind of lives and learn a different life style.

Considering all the benefits we get from the TV mentioned above, I firmly believe that TV should be an additional education form for all the views. ”
同学和之前几篇比用词有很大的进步哦~但是在练习阶段，最好养成下笔前勤查字典的习惯，写英文句子不是把脑中的中文句子逐词翻译得到的，而要尊重并使用英语国家的人的表达习惯。
另外，托福想拿高分的话，作文不应当出现任何的语法错误，TOEFL是一群受良好教育的人在比拼更高层次的英文水平，而不像四六级，有很多大专三本的人还停留在为了语法而挣扎的阶段。