一亩三分地

 找回密码 注册账号

扫描二维码登录本站

BBS
指尖新闻
Offer多多
Salarytics
Learn
Who's Hiring?
疫情动态
Instant
客户端
微信公众号
扫码关注公众号
留学申请公众号
扫码关注留学申请公众号
Youtube频道
留学博客
关于我们
查看: 976|回复: 1
收起左侧

[T作文-已改] 【综合】TPO5 massive building

[复制链接] |试试Instant~ |t作文-已改, toefl
我的人缘0

分享帖子到朋友圈
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   100% (7)
 
 
0% (0)    👎

注册一亩三分地论坛,查看更多干货!

您需要 登录 才可以下载或查看,没有帐号?注册账号

x
本帖最后由 巴斯光年2013 于 2013-11-10 16:28 编辑

请大家从时态和语言上斧正
字数298
The lecturer we heard in the listening material support none of the possible explanation raised in the reading material, and he thought all of them to be unconvincing.
First, he thought the idea that the house had residential use to be unsupportive. Even though he agrees that the surface of the house looked like apartment buildings, he pointed out that the inside of the house doesn’t support this theory. He claimed that if there were people who lived in the mansion, there should be enough fire places to support their regular living. However, the number of fireplaces found is far from the being enough to support this purpose. For example, there is a house with cooking places to support around 10 families, and with the total room, however, enough to support 100 families. So the claim that the house could be used for living is unconvincing.
As to the maize storage theory, the lecturer thought it couldn’t be true, either. And he said that the storage of grain maize would leave traces, traces of maize or big containers used to store maize. As a matter of fact, however, no such kind of trace had been found. So the lecturer was not convinced by this theory either.
Still, the lecturer suspected the third theory about ceremonial purpose. He raised his suspicion with an example about another structure found which used to have the function of ceremonial centers. In this structure, more remains of building material had been found such as sands, stone, constructive materials. The remains of the pots were not enough to convince him. What’s more, the pieces of pot could be regular trash rather than used by people attending ceremonies.
In conclusion, the lecturer didn’t agree any of the possible explanations, and figured out their flaws with certain evidence.

评分

参与人数 1大米 +20 收起 理由
EroicaCMCS + 20

查看全部评分


上一篇:超详细托福加试原文+原题目!
下一篇:跪求!考托福还来得及吗?
我的人缘0
oliviahuang 2014-2-19 18:00:41 | 显示全部楼层
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   100% (32)
 
 
0% (0)    👎
The lecture we heard in the listening material supports none of the possible explanations raised in the reading material, and he consider all of them to be unconvincing.
First, he thought the idea that the house had residential use to be ungrounded. Even though he agreed that the house looked like an apartment building, he pointed out that the inside of the house did not indicate that it was one. He claimed that if there were people who lived in the mansion, there should be enough fire places to support their regular living. However, the number of fireplaces found is far from enough to serve this purpose. For example, there is a house with cooking places to support approximately 10 families, and with the total room, however, enough to support 100 families. So the possibility that the house could be used for living is slim.
Furthermore, the lecturer thought the maize storage theory could not be true, neither. And he said that the storage of grain maize would leave traces, traces of maize or big containers used to store maize. As a matter of fact,no such trace had been found. So the lecturer was not convinced by this theory either.
In addition, the lecturer also has doubts about the third theory about ceremonial purpose. He raised his suspicion with another evidence: a structure that used to function as ceremonial centers was found. In this structure, more remains of building material had been found such as sands, stone, constructive materials. The remains of the pots were not enough to convince him. What is more likely is that the pieces of pot were just regular trash rather than used by people attending ceremonies.
In conclusion, the lecturer did not agree with any of the possible explanations, and figured out their flaws with certain evidence.

楼主的观点总结的不错,证据条理比较清晰,但是语言还有很大改进的空间。
首先的一个小问题是我记得好像T和G的写作最好都不用缩写;
还有楼主可能要扩展一下单词量,几个常用的如support, unconvincing..这种意群完全可以在韦氏里查近义词然后代替一下。
小的语发错误,还有表达的Chinglish还是要考多读原版文段,多培养语感。


个人的一点小看法,楼主加油!

评分

参与人数 1大米 +100 收起 理由
FractionatedEye + 100

查看全部评分

回复

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册账号

本版积分规则

隐私提醒:
■为防止被骚扰甚至人肉,不要公开留微信等联系方式,请以论坛私信方式发送。
■特定版块可以超级匿名:https://pay.1point3acres.com/tools/thread
■其他版块匿名方法:http://www.1point3acres.com/bbs/thread-405991-1-1.html

手机版|||一亩三分地

GMT+8, 2020-7-11 19:54

Powered by Discuz! X3

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc. Design By HUXTeam

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表