SOP求鉴定求指教

Statementof Purpose for the Statistics PhD program at XXX University

ABCD (Application ID: xxxxx)

December29, 2015

As a top studentmajoring Mathematics at the XXX University—one ofthe top universities in China, I wouldlike to pursue higher intellectual level by undertaking advanced studies andresearches in your PhD program in Statistics,[url=#_ftn1][/url] especially the track of Time SeriesAnalysis and Financial Mathematics.I took Finance as a minor in which I met my teacher who suggested me to learnStatistics as it had very important applications. After I understand more aboutStatistics, I find it useful not only in Finance but many other fields as well,so I decided to take Statistics in my PhD study.

Upon enteringuniversity, I wasn’t quite sure what I was interested. In consider ofMathematics would be helpful in many fields, I chose Mathematics as my major. Inthe past three years, I have taken substantial coursework in MathematicalAnalysis, Advanced Algebra, Real Analysis and Probability Theory, and alwaysranked top in my major. As a reward to my excellent academic performance, I was twice awardedChinese National Scholarship, which is the highest honor for undergraduates inChina, respectively in 2014 and 2015, and university awards for several times.

I’m now takingpart in the Outstanding Undergraduate Exchange Program sponsored by China ScholarshipCouncil, at University of XXX in France since this September. Duringmy participation at XXX, I’m expected to take graduate level courses likeAdvanced Statistics, Markov Chain, Regression Model and Linear Optimization,which will make up for my lack of training in Statistics. I’ll also learn many softwaresand coding languages which are more than important in Statistics Analysis, suchas SAS, R, C++ and Linux. In the SAS and R projects, my teammates and Iconducted exploratory analyses, created informative visualizations, andpresented our findings. I found great pleasure in exploring data and exchangingideas with my peers. Next semester, I will have the chance to conduct researchunder the teachers’ instruction. Though learning in French is a challenge, butthe days makes me know how interesting it is to try new things, how exciting itis to bravely face challenges, and how happy is to make achievements you’venever thought of.

I have always been passionate about applying what Ilearned to solving real-life problems, and it is during these experiences thatI gradually find my research interest. When I was in sophomore, I participated first time inthe 7th Central China Mathematical Modeling Contest. My team used polynomial fittingmethod to eliminate trend of error in numerical acceleration integrating, and wewere awarded second prize. Encouraged by the previous success, I took part inthe 2015 Interdisciplinary Contest of Modeling held by COMAP. The problem wasto find a proper model to evaluate the sustainability level, and to givesuggestions according to the ranking. We first searched time series data on theInternet. Using entropy, PCA and AHP methods together, we developed andoptimized our model, finding our result fitting well with the official rankingreleased by World Bank. Then we selected an object and worked out themain factors limiting its development, then gave some suggestions that willgreatly help. Fortunately, we were awarded with Meritorious Winner, which meansour work was the top 8-15% among the competitors world while. In the three-daycontest I gained more than the prize, but more pricelessly the experience to doresearch work independently, to get familiar with a new problem and solve it ina limited time, and to cooperate with teammates against difficulties. Throughthese competitions, I also improved my skills in using softwares such as MATLABand Lingo. I believe my rich experience in modeling could benefit a lot in myfuture quantitative research.

Besides striving for academic excellence, I’m alsoactive in extra-curriculum activities, in which I gained improvements inleadership and communication skills. I was elected as study commissary and vice-monitor insophomore and junior respectively. I also served as the co-editor from 2014 in XXX—the academic journal of my school, reviewing professional papersand editing with LaTeX. During the summer vacation in 2013, I joined the XXX VolunteersGroup to XXX and served as a volunteer teacher for children in the rural schools.

I believe my sound Mathematical background, richmodeling experience, excellent academic performance and ability in programminglanguages give me the confidence that I am able to thrive in your esteemedprogram. I am keen to conduct academic research in xxx, and the strength of yourdepartment in these areas is a primary factor attracting me your PhD program. Thebroad and modern curriculum will provide me with a fundamental background in Probabilityand Statistical theory and also opportunities to conduct interdisciplinaryresearch. WhenI graduate from your school, I plan to pursue a position as a data analyst in companies.

I hope you couldconsider my application favorably. Thanks for your precious time.

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PhD现在有点晚了吧……

coding languages --> programming languages/coding skills; 感觉没必要写课外活动了，如果申phd的话，实际上我感觉master也没有太多必要，在简历上写上就好，如果表现leadership最好在和专业有关的项目中插入；同时也觉得楼主应该多加些科研以及项目经验在PS中；第二段写到“刚入学不知道选什么专业合适，看到数学能对很多学科有用就选了这个”，感觉这句话没什么用，PS中每句话每个词都不应该浪费，可以换个更加正面的表达，比如“因为看到数学的基础性作用，选择了数学”。

补充内容 (2015-12-31 20:55):
另外，PS中有部分用来写上了哪些课程的，感觉也没有必要，成绩单上有，或者写在简历上，不应该浪费PS的空间，除非楼主加入些对于对于这些的深刻理解以及收获，而不仅仅是获得了top的成绩~

补充内容 (2015-12-31 20:58):
感觉楼主的PS还是有点模板的痕迹，是中介写的？

先不说内容 op的语法错误太多了 还需要修改一下