winner比loser赢在哪？【中英文】

二楼有中文
Via http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/dweck

Believe you can change

Carol Dweck was obsessed with failure. You know how some people just seem to succeed at everything they do, while others seem helpless, doomed to a life of constant failure? Dweck noticed that too — and she was determined to figure out why. So she began watching kids, trying to see if she could spot the difference between the two groups.

In a 1978 study with Carol Diener, she gave kids various puzzles and recorded what they said as they tried to solve them. Very quickly, the helpless kids started blaming themselves: “I’m getting confused,” one said; “I never did have a good rememory,” another explained.

But the puzzles kept coming — and they kept getting harder. “This isn’t fun anymore,” the kids cried. But still, there were more puzzles.

The kids couldn’t take it anymore. “I give up,” they insisted. They started talking about other things, trying to take their mind off the onslaught of tricky puzzles. “There is a talent show this weekend, and I am going to be Shirley Temple,” one girl said. Dweck just gave them even harder puzzles.

Now the kids started getting silly, almost as if they could hide their failure by making it clear they weren’t trying in the first place. Despite repeatedly being told it was incorrect, one boy just kept choosing brown as his answer, saying “Chocolate cake, chocolate cake.”1

Maybe these results aren’t surprising. If you’ve ever tried to play a board game with kids, you’ve probably seen them say all these things and more (Dweck appears to be missing the part where they pick up the game board and throw all the pieces on the floor, then run away screaming).

But what shocked her — and changed the course of her career — was the behavior of the successful kids. “Everyone has a role model, someone who pointed the way at a critical moment in their lives,” she later wrote. “These children were my role models. They obviously knew something I didn’t and I was determined to figure it out.”2

Dweck, like many adults, had learned to hide her frustration and anger, to politely say “I’m not sure I want to play this anymore” instead of knocking over the board. She figured the successful kids would be the same — they’d have tactics for coping with failure instead of getting beaten down by it.

But what she found was radically different. The successful kids didn’t just live with failure, they loved it! When the going got tough, they didn’t start blaming themselves; they licked their lips and said “I love a challenge.” They’d say stuff like “The harder it gets the harder I need to try.”

Instead of complaining it wasn’t fun when the puzzles got harder, they’d psych themselves up, saying “I’ve almost got it now” or “I did it before, I can do it again.” One kid, upon being a given a really hard puzzle, one that was supposed to be obviously impossible to solve, just looked up at the experimenter with a smile and said, “You know, I was hoping this would be informative.”3

What was wrong with them?

The difference, Dweck discovered, was one of mindset. Dweck had always thought “human qualities were carved in stone. You were smart or you weren’t, and failure meant you weren’t.” That was why the helpless kids couldn’t take it when they started failing. It just reminded them they sucked (they easily got confused, they had “a bad rememory”). Of course it wasn’t fun anymore — why would it be fun to get constantly reminded you’re a failure? No wonder they tried to change the subject. Dweck called this the “fixed mindset” — the belief that your abilities are fixed and that the world is just a series of tests that show you how good you are.

The successful kids believed precisely the opposite: that everything came through effort and that the world was full of interesting challenges that could help you learn and grow. (Dweck called this the “growth mindset.”) That’s why they were so thrilled by the harder puzzles — the easier ones weren’t any sort of challenge, there was nothing you could learn from them. But the really tough ones? Those were fascinating — a new skill to develop, a new problem to conquer. In later experiments, kids even asked to take puzzles home so they could work on them some more.4

It took a seventh-grader to explain it to her: “I think intelligence is something you have to work for…it isn’t just given to you… Most kids, if they’re not sure of an answer, will not raise their hand… But what I usually do is raise my hand, because if I’m wrong, then my mistake will be corrected. Or I will raise my hand and say… ‘I don’t get this. Can you help me?’ Just by doing that I’m increasing my intelligence.”5

In the fixed mindset, success comes from proving how great you are. Effort is a bad thing — if you have to try hard and ask questions, you obviously can’t be very good. When you find something you can do well, you want to do it over and over, to show how good you are at it.

In the growth mindset, success comes from growing. Effort is what it’s all about — it’s what makes you grow. When you get good at something, you put it aside and look for something harder so that you can keep growing.

Fixed-mindset people feel smart when they don’t make mistakes, growth-mindset people feel smart when they struggle with something for a long time and then finally figure it out. Fixies try to blame the world when things go bad, growthers look to see what they can change about themselves. Fixies are afraid to try hard — because if they fail, it means they’re a failure. Growthers are afraid of not trying.

As Dweck continued her research, she kept finding this difference in all sorts of places. In relationships, growth-mindset people looked for partners who would push them to be better, fixies just wanted someone who would put them on a pedestal (and got into terrible fights when they hit problems). Growther CEOs keep looking for new products and ways to improve, fixies cut research and tried to squeeze profits from old successes. Even in sports, growther athletes got better and better through constant practice, while fixies blamed their atrophying skills on everyone around them.

But Dweck applied a growth mindset to the question of mindset — and discovered that your mindset could itself be changed. Even small interventions — like telling students they were doing well because they tried hard, rather than because they were smart — had huge effects. With more work, she could change totally fixed-mindset people into fervent growth-mindset ones.

She herself changed, converting from a fervent fixed-mindsetter, always looking for excuses to prove how smart she was, to a growther, looking for new challenges. It was hard: “since I was taking more risks, I might look back over the day and see all the mistakes and setbacks. And feel miserable. [You feel like a zero]… you want to rush right out and rack up some high numbers.” But she resisted the urge — and became a leading psychologist instead.6

The first step to getting better is believing you can get better. In her book, Mindset, Dweck explains how to start talking back to your fixed mindset. The fixed mindset says, “What if you fail? You’ll be a failure.” The growth mindset replies, “Most successful people had failures along the way.”7

Now when I first heard about this work, I just thought: that’s nice, but I already do all this. I believe fervently that intelligence can change and that talents can be learned. Indeed, I’d say I’m almost pathologically growth mindset. But even I began to notice there are some things I have a fixed mindset about.

For example, I used to think I was introverted. Everyone had always told me that you were either an extroverted person or an introverted person. From a young age, I was quite shy and bookish, so it seemed obvious: I was an introvert.

But as I’ve grown, I’ve found that’s hardly the end of the story. I’ve started to get good at leading a conversation or cracking people up with a joke. I like telling stories at a party a story or buzzing about a room saying ‘hi’ to people. I get a rush from it! Sure, I’m still not the most party-oriented person I know, but I no longer think we fit into any neat introversion/extroversion buckets.

Growth mindset has become a kind of safe word for my partner and I. Whenever we feel the other person getting defensive or refusing to try something because “I’m not any good at it”, we say “Growth mindset!” and try to approach the problem as a chance to grow, rather than a test of our abilities. It’s no longer scary, it’s just another project to work on.

Just like life itself.

2楼的中文是36氪发的，楼主表明转载 附上链接吧
http://www.36kr.com/p/147356.html

Carol Dweck非常痴迷于对“失败”的研究。你知道的，有些人好像生来就是winner，做什么事都很顺利都很成功，而另外一些人则一直很无助，好像这辈子注定是个loser。 Dweck也发现了这一点，而且，她还下定决心要找到其中的原因。于是，她开始观察小孩子，并企图从两组不同的小朋友中找到他们之间的差异，以及问题的答案。

1978年，Dweck跟Carol Diener一起做了一项研究。她给小朋友出了不同难度的智力拼图，并记录了他们在解题过程中的话语。

很快地，那些无助的小朋友便开始责备自己，其中一个说道：“我觉得自己越来越迷惑了。”另外一个孩子则为自己辩解道：“我的记性一直不好。”但是，智力拼图还是被源源不断地抛给了这些小朋友，而且越变越难。“现在一点也不好玩了。”有些孩子叫嚷道。但是他们的抗议没用，Dweck还是不断地向他们抛出难题。最后，这些孩子终于受不了了，他们坚持说：“我放弃了。”接着，他们就开始讨论起别的话题，想借此将自己的注意力从刚才猛烈的智力拼图轰炸中解救出来。“这个周末有一个才艺展示，我会扮演秀兰邓波儿。”其中一个女孩说道。但即便是这样，Dweck还是不肯罢手，她给他们抛出了更难的题目。这个时候，你猜发生了什么？这些孩子开始犯傻了，他们表现得好像自己一开始就没有努力答题一样，以企图掩盖自己的失败。在一个案例中，有一个小男孩已经被多次告知自己的答案——棕色，是错误的，但他还总是要选这个错误的答案，而且嘴里还振振有词：“巧克力蛋糕，巧克力蛋糕。”

这样的结果也许并不令人吃惊。假如你曾经试过跟一群小孩玩过一局游戏，你可能就看过他们做这样的傻事，而且还有过之而无不及（直接将拼图扔到地上）。

但是，真正让Dweck震惊的——并由此改变了她的整个职业生涯的，是那些成功的小朋友的做法。她甚至在后来这样写道：“每一个人都有自己的榜样，这些榜样在你人生的关键时刻为你指明了方向。”“这些孩子就是我的榜样。他们显然知道一些连我都不知道的东西，但我下定决心要弄明白。”

Dweck为什么要这么说呢？因为，正如很多成年人一样，假如Dweck自己碰到了上面的情形，她会学着把自己的沮丧和愤怒隐藏起来，然后礼貌地答道：“我不太确定自己是不是还要玩下去。”而不是像上面的孩子一样，开始翻脸不认人。她以为，那些成功的孩子会跟她表现得一样——他们有处理失败的方法，而不是直接被它打败。

但是，事实跟她想得非常不一样。那些成功的孩子不仅仅能够接受失败，而且他们还非常喜欢失败。当智力拼图变得越来越困难的时候，他们并没有开始责难自己；他们会舔舔自己的嘴唇，然后说道：“我喜欢接受挑战。”“题目变得越难，我就应该越努力地尝试。”

当题目变得越来越难的时候，这些孩子们并没有抱怨游戏变得不好玩，相反地，他们还会给自己非常积极的心理暗示，说：“差一点点我就能做出来了。”或者“我之前就成功做出来了，我还可以再成功一次。”还有一个孩子，当他被给到一个非常非常难，几乎就不可能解出来的题目时，他也只是抬起头看看实验者，然后说道：“你知道的，我还想着你能给我点线索呢。”

这到底是怎么一回事呢?

Dweck发现，这些孩子们之间的差异在于思维模式。Dweck先前一直以为：“一个人的素质是一成不变的。你要么聪明，要么就不聪明。假如你失败了，那就说明你不聪明。”这也是为什么，当那些无助的孩子开始失败的时候，他们就无法接受现实了——因为失败刚好提醒了他们，他们弱爆了（自己是那么容易就困惑，自己的记性是如此不好）。在这种情况下，游戏当然也就变得不好玩了——谁会愿意被时时提醒自己是一个loser呢？也难怪他们会开始转移话题。Dweck将这种想法，即认为你的能力是一成不变的，而整个世界就是由一个个为了考察你能力所在的测试组成的想法，称为“固定型思维模式”（“fixed mindset”）。

而那些成功孩子的观念恰恰相反，他们会认为：所有的事情都离不开个人努力，而这个世界上也充满了那些帮助你去学习，去成长的有趣的挑战。Dweck将其称为“成长型思维模式”（“growth mindset.”）。这也就是为什么他们在碰到更难的智力拼图时会那么兴奋——因为那些简单的题目不具有挑战性，他们从中也学不到任何东西。但是那些难题就不一样了。这些题简直太棒了——可以让他们发展一个新的技能，或者征服一个新的问题。而在后面的一些实验中，甚至有一些孩子要求将题目带回家，因为这样他们就可以花更多的时间研究答案。

然后，一个七年级的孩子还这样跟她解释道：

“我觉得智力这东西需要你自己去争取…而不是你坐享其成的…假如不能确定答案，大部分的孩子都不会举手，但是我会经常举手。因为，假如我的答案错了，我的错误就可以被纠正过来。或者，我还会举手问道：‘这事我不明白，你能帮帮我吗？’这样的话，我的智力就能不断提高。”

在那些有固定型思维模式的人看来，成功来源于证明你自己有多棒。努力是一个不好的预兆——假如你需要努力尝试，还要不断地问问题，那显然说明你不够优秀。而当这些人找到了自己能够做好的事情时，他们就会想着重复它，以显示自己对这东西有多么在行。而在那些有成长型思维模式的人看来，成功来源于成长，而这当中的精髓就是努力——因为只有努力你才会成长。当你对某件事情已经非常擅长的时候，你就会把它放在一边，并继续找那些更有挑战性的事情，因为这样你才能持续成长。

具有固定型思维模式的人会在自己不犯错误的时候觉得自己很聪明，而有成长型思维模式的人会在自己为某件事苦苦挣扎，并最终找到解决方案时觉得自己很聪明。当事情不顺利的时候，前者会埋怨整个世界，而后者会想着改变自己。前者会害怕非常努力地去尝试，因为一旦他们失败了，就说明他们是一个loser，而后者永远不会惧怕尝试。

而且，随着Dweck对研究的持续展开，她还在各个领域发现了上面的这种差异。在人际关系中，有成长型思维的人会寻找那些让他们变得更好的伴侣，而固定型思维的人则只愿意找那些允许自己停滞不前的人（而一旦双方之间有什么冲突，就会演变成非常可怕的争斗）。具有成长型思维模式的CEO会不断地寻找新的产品，并不断地寻找优化的方法，而具有固定型思维模式的CEO就会缩减研发经费，然后希望从旧有的成功产品中挤出新的利润。即便是在运动领域，那些具有成长型思维的运动员都会通过不断地训练让自己越变越好，而具有固定型思维模式的运动员则会将自己不断萎缩的技能归罪于周围所有的人。

不仅如此，Dweck还发现，一个人的思维模式是可以改变的。即便是一些很小的干预——比如说告诉学生做得很好，而且，不是因为他们很聪明，而是因为他们在很努力地尝试，诸如此类的做法影响非常大。而随着投入的加大，她还发现自己可以将那些原本有固定型思维模式的人改变成积极的，具有成长型思维模式的人。

而她自己也改变了——从一个总是寻找各种各样的借口，以证明自己有多么聪明的思维定势者变成了一个寻找新的挑战的有成长型思维模式的人。这很困难：“因为我开始承担更多的风险了。有的时候，我会回头看看，看看自己犯下的所有错误，遇到的所有挫折，然后，我会觉得非常痛苦（就感觉自己一无是处）。这时候你真想一头从这种状态中冲出去，然后往自己的脸上贴一层金。”但是，她最终抵挡住了这个诱惑，并成为了一名业内领先的心理学家。

via http://www.36kr.com/p/147356.html

感觉说的挺像的。。。中枪

之前看过一篇renren，叫做，教你如何在大学里失败。

原来如此。。我受教了。。

恩恩！！表示自己以前是彻底的固定式思维。。。最大的爱好就是做自己擅长的事情。。。
不过自从选择出国之后，慢慢地变得积极起来，学会承认失败，学会做选择，学会面对未知，学会追逐新事物。。
并且越来越不喜欢以前的一些爱好了，以前以为会喜欢一辈子的东西，现在觉得好无聊，木有意思，木有新意，总是一成不变的，姐都已经熟悉你们了，为毛还要再浪费时间？
反而更喜欢去接触新的事物。。
转变的过程。。。确实很痛苦啊。。。。掉层皮的感觉。。。自我怀疑的过程。。。。
哈哈哈，是不是说明自己的思维正在改变啊？
恩恩，虽然现在还木有完全进化完毕，但是已经开始进化了！！！！
恩恩~要加油~~
这文真好啊~~~^^~~