求赐教，请大家帮我指出弱点吧，自己是在改不下去了

首先说，这里可能有些语法错误，我是想先在内容上下功夫，然后再从语言上弄，我后期会找机构改语言，但是内容上不知道改怎么推进了，麻烦各位赐教。
Even though polymers have simple structures, through composing of different atoms and combining of atoms in different sequence, hundreds of thousands of polymers could be created, showing distinct properties and being a part of our daily life. This was my first meet with polymer in my chemistry course when I was in high school. I was surprised by the magic power in the “polymer world”. I started to imagine what could be created in this miraculous world. Therefore, I decided to make a difference in the “polymer world”.

I started my academic journey at Xi’an Jiaotong University. Even though I studied various materials, especially metal, in my undergraduate study, I was still most interested in polymer. Driven by the strong interest, I did in-depth thinking about what I learned in the courses about polymer and carried out my ideas. When I first learned the Q-e scheme of Alfred and Price in Polymer Chemistry course, I noticed that this scheme failed to consider steric effect of substituent groups, so the calculated reactivity ratios showed considerable inaccuracy. This imperfection excited my interest in revising the scheme to get a more reliable one. To obtain my goal, I scanned all my knowledge to find the relationship of crucial factors. Finally, I added a new parameter, presenting the steric effect of substituent groups, into the original scheme. The values of new parameters were calculated through data fitting, based on the data of reactivity ratios in publications. The revised Q-e scheme had been proven more reliable.

In order to share my fruit and put it into a practical application, I developed a software program based on the revised scheme with the help of other students. Our work won the first prizes in the “Challenge Cup” Scientific and Technological Contest at Xi’an Jiaotong University and in Shannxi Province respectively and the third prize in the national final contest. This experience strengthened my passion for polymer, but most importantly, I had developed a critical thinking process that, together with my scientific curiosity, has prepared me for success in every research endeavor I have met since.

In my senior year, I got a postgraduate recommendation to study at Institute of Polymer and Science at Tsinghua University, which gave me a real chance to learn and research polymer. My first research at Tsinghua University was my senior thesis. I synthesized poly(ethylene oxide) end-capped with terpyridine Eu(III) complexes and studied the fluorescence property of this polymer-metal complex, which had been proven an effective energy sensitizer. Through my senior thesis I learned about a new research area, supramolecular chemistry, which challenged my basic understanding of polymer. At the first time, I realized that the interactions, atoms, structures of polymer were far more various than what I learned and understood before. My enthusiastic curiosity drove me to know more about this research area. I read a lot of publications, including a book, Modern Terpyridine Chemistry, and I even took a course, Supramolecular Chemistry. The study and research in supramolecular chemistry not only enlarged my horizon but also gave me a deeper understanding of polymer.

The accumulation of knowledge is the fountain of novel thoughts and inspirations. I am eager to extend my knowledge and touch new areas. Even though some knowledge seems not related with my current work, I believe it would benefit me some day. At the same time, it is also the process that I become better prepared for the more difficult research.

Now my current postgraduate research focuses on the self-assembly of the multiblock fluorinated polyurethane, which has trained me to be a qualified researcher. To get target polymers, I designed and improved the synthesis strategies. In this process I obtained enough experience to be ready for more difficult synthesis in the future. Through charactering the self-assembled nanostructure of the multiblock fluorinated polyurethane, I have become familiar with several tools, including TEM, SEM, AFM, DLS and others. Besides those necessary skills, I also have got some valuable qualities, carefulness, patience and persistence, for a researcher. To invest the inner structure of the nanoparticles, I took total 2300 electron microscope photos, and through the careful observation I found the nanoparticles were multicore. I have combined a broad range of knowledge and rigorous logic thinking to reach conclusive explanation on the mechanism of the self-assembly on microscopic view. I think it is important for a researcher to be able to find microscopic reasons for macroscopical phenomena. In my post-graduate research life, I gradually grew up to an independent researcher. The first paper about my work has been under review at Journal of Polymer Science Part A: Polymer Chemistry.

In the last year of my postgraduate study, I need to think about how to step further and reflect what I really want. All my previous work is more like basic scientific research. Although those researchers have prepared me for the future study, I am more interested in practical application. Now I am facing a chance to change. I have faced many transitions in my life. When I graduated from Xi’an Jiaotong University, I transited from an undergraduate student who specialized in metals to research polymer. Now I hope I could transit from basic science to applied science. However, in each transition, I go back to origin, being closer to my dream in high school.

In the high school I just dreamed that one day I could make a fantasying material for the world. After six years of study, my dream has become more and more detailed. Materials are always the bottlenecks in aerospace, automobile and defense industries, which obstruct the fast development of technique. I am passionate about advanced engineering materials, crucial for the success of modern industrialization. Polymer composite is a good approach to addressing the issue. Polymer composite has excellent mechanical properties combined with multifunction, such as electrical conductivity and thermal conductivity. Moreover, I am especially interested in polymer nanocomposites reinforced with graphene and carbon nanotubes, both of whom are potential nanofillers that can dramatically improve the properties of polymer-based composites. Even though polymer nanocomposite has been researched for decades, I feel there is still much space for the improvement. Many technical barriers involving structure control, dispersion of fillers in the polymer matrix, interfacial interaction between components are still crucial challenges for wide applications of polymer nanocomposite. However, it is the challenges that make it worthy for me to pursue a Ph.D. degree in this area.

My interests are an excellent fit for xxx, and the mission of xxx places an emphasis on the research training of students. I would like to be an expert in industry to make changes in the manufacture of polymer in the future. The research projects of xxx, sponsored by industrial collaborations, offer me an opportunity to know more about the needs and the development in industry and train me to resolve the practical issues, a top priority for me. For these reasons, I am eager about the possibility of continuing my research and education at xxx.
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半天了也没见人提意见，估计我的太长了吧，我总结一下吧，我写了三段研究经历，第一段本科生的挑战杯，写了当初怎么想做这个东西的，然后写了具体的工作，后来写了结果，最后强调了一下在这个过程中，加深了自己的兴趣，也锻炼出了思考问题的思路。
第二段经历，是本科毕设，写了研究了什么，然后通过这个研究认识到了新的领域，然后学习了这个领域的知识，最后强调了，这些东西扩充了自己的思路，让自己对大领域有了更深的认识，后来又加了一段过渡的话，就是喜欢学新的知识，因为能够提供思路和灵感。
第三段，就是研究生经历，主要强调收到了训练变成一个researcher，写作结构就是：工作-训练收获，工作-训练收获。。。。。
最后写了兴趣和目的，因为我之前的研究和未来的申请方向不是完全一样的，只是大领域都是polymer，但是具体方向不match的，所以就加了些过渡的话。

我写了八百字，已经觉得够多了，你这比我多多了- -

我也是800字多一点，楼主请专业改ps的改一下吧

太长。。。

从看ps的人角度，你这么长的ps我觉得一看到就想往后缩啦~~由此看来，ps还得短些啊~~~
我自己写的时候也没觉得，然后不知不觉就写长了。。。

太长啦。。。。我看到都害怕。。。

目测跟我的一样长，求高人现身

楼主加我扣扣吧。我们一个学校的。。184667805