[个人经验&部分转载]关于伯克利personal history statement 怎么写的指导贴

楼主在蛋疼的写这个文书ing。。。。。网上搜到感觉说的挺对的
ME马上就deadline，希望对别的还有时间准备文书的同学有帮助~
权当攒人品吧！
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一些UC系统的学校，比如UC Berkeley以及University of Michigan在申请材料要求方面
除了要一份传统意义上的以motivation为主旨的PS(个人陈述: Personal Statement)或
者SOP(目的陈述: Statement of Purpose)之外，还需要一份个人经历陈述 (Personal
History Statement)。按照Berkeley的话说就是：

Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to
pursue a graduate degree. Please include information on how you have
.--overcome barriers to access higher education, evidence of how you have come
to understand the barriers faced by others, evidence of your academic
service to advance equitable access to higher education for women, racial
minorities, and individuals from other groups that have been historically
underrepresented in higher education, evidence of your research focusing on
underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of
your leadership among such groups.



由于相关的经验比较少，很多人把这个statement又写成了一份传统意义上的PS，或是把
原先一个大的ps分拆成两个部分，其实这样做不是特别符合学校的原意。

美国大学的主旨和目的之一就是要引领社会的价值观，其中很重要的就是: Diversity
and Broader Impact。

Diversity：美国很强调平等的观念，特别是机会平等的观念，而受教育机会的公平是机
会平等的关键。试想如果奥巴马童鞋没有受过一流的教育，是没有成为美国总统的机会
的。同时美国又是一个移民国家，特别在加州等地区，少数族裔(比如亚裔，西班牙裔)
等人数众多，但是由于历史和社会的原因，部分种群的受教育机会相对来说少一些，所
以他们对于Under-represented background的学生会有所倾斜。这里所说的Under-repre
sented,在美国这边不只是代表经济上或者政治上的弱势，也有性别,种族, 宗教...等等
，也有人去验DNA，说自己的是xxx的后裔，人数很少云云。。。总之只要是校园内的少
数都可以讲，当然,国际学生也是under- represented的，但是千万不要说自己是中国人
或者亚裔为基本点来论述(去了加州你就知道这里中国人是那么的多了。。。)，也不要
觉得中国是发展中国家，然后想当然的说自己来自遥远偏僻的农村，小时候生活多么艰
苦，一路奋斗上来为出发点，因为你永远都不知道你的竞争对手背景有多惨，有人可能
是卢旺达种族屠杀的难民；有人可能是从朝鲜出来的；更多的人可能是从墨西哥爬墙来
美国的西班牙裔后代。。。如果没有特别惨(当然你可以说，我是汶川大地震的幸存者，
然后这样的人有多么少，我是如何努力的，我今后来受教育是为了其他的幸存者。。。)
。

大多数人diversity这个内容都不大好写(因为中国人来美国留学的已经很多很多了，即
使在Berkeley都很多)，那么就想办法把 diversity引入到 Broader Impact上来。美国
的教育理念最重要的一条就是培养学生成为一个合格的公民(Elementary School就有公
民课)。不仅仅是读书好就行(美国人用一个略带贬义的词：geek来称呼这些人)，不仅仅
是很聪明就ok，合格的学生应该还具有一定的价值观，一定的责任感等等。

在这个部分，最重要就是说明自己希望或者能够在读书期间对于学校以周边同学/社区带
来点什么，更重要的是说明毕业后有什么规划，将发挥怎么样的影响力。美国的一些顶
尖大学，大多数是私立的，然后去读书还不收一部分学生的钱，甚至倒贴钱(全额奖学金
)，主要的资金来源是捐赠。只有相当一部分学生能够在社会发挥重要的影响力，才能不
断扩大学校的知名度，也才有捐赠资金继续办学。于是这里大家就可以发挥了。有人说
，我没有什么特别的经历呀，只是去过敬老 院做过一段时间义工能不能写？当然能。但
是最终是否决定把这个经历写到申请的文书里头，需要多方面考量。首先是这个经历需
要跟撰写这篇文书的目的(“给我 offer吧”)相一致，而是否给offer的最重要的标准是
“Match”。比如如果申请的是social work(社会工作)专业，那么这个经历就是非常Mat
ch了，如果再有出彩的表现和相关的想法并带上对于个人未来所走到路的选择和规划，
. check 1point3acres for more.再加上一封合适的推荐信映衬，那简直就是一个成功的在我推销案例；有同学说，那么
我是学商科的呢？如果一定要写这个实例，那么可以写：我在去敬老院干活的过程发现
，老年人对于理财的需求是什么样子的，我们社会的养老保险和理财方面有哪些不足，
如何通过一些金融和商业的创新(于是结合说我为什么去读MSF/MFE专业呀。。blabla)，
引入商业的力量来让老年人的晚年在财务上更加省心；如果是学机械工程(ME)的，可以
写我去敬老院修了很多老年人的轮椅，发现轮椅哪些地方有不足，哪些领域的突破能改
变这种状况(找个领域跟自己申请相关的)，我要来读书是为了实现这些技术，从而今后
为老年人制造更好的轮椅云云。话说回来，吃饭吃了这么多年了，总归经历很丰富(觉得
不丰富的童鞋，是因为你没有好好挖掘自己？)，到底这里写哪个经历能够更好的让这篇
文书为自己申请加分，是需要仔细考虑的地方。往往写的好的文章，都是将几个部分(我
有什么经历，经历体现我什么背景/素质/能力，这些能力对于我今后来读书。。。我读
书之后的 success是guaranteed，而我的success不仅是我个人的，而是我促进了我们的
community向着更加平等，自由的方向发展)结合的好的，让人读了泪流满面的那种，就
好象卢旺达难民在叙述他们的diversity时让人内牛满面一样。

同样地，美国文化也格外注重leadership。这些需要强调的是，美国人的leadership不
是“做官”，而是需要一个人有vision，有 commitment来推动实现这个vision，并懂得
与他人合作，让人感受到你既可以领导众人又可以分工合作。有不少中国学生写的ps都
说自己有 leadership，理由是，我是班长，我是某学校社团老大，我获得过上海市优秀
学生干部的奖励等等，于是想当然的就以为美国人看了就会觉得自己有 leadership，其
实这里面还有蛮多误差。

为什么这些学校还需要这样一个文书作为必须的申请材料呢？我想，问diversity,
leadership以及broader impact等等的目的，应该是学校希望看到你是一个怎么样的"人
"，你希望成为怎么样的人，而这些是其他材料所不能或者不能完全反映的。 当然有人
说，这个材料不重要，所以写个文章应付一下就好，呵呵，这个就见仁见智了。

总而言之，就是要强调你可以增加diversity，有想法，有leadership，让读这篇文章的
教授们个个看了热血沸腾，把你直接放到must admit list里面最好，呵呵。不过或许在
撰写和修改这篇文书的过程中，你对为什么去读graduate school，为什么去美国留学等
等都会有一些更加深入的思考。

祝大家申请一切顺利
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鉴于楼下有人说这帖子已经在地里发过了。。。。汗一个。。。。。
我决定继续把我找到的有关PHS的东西贴上来

前一阵在人人上看到的，也给了我很多思考，可是悲剧的是我觉得我能写的这孩子都写了我不能写的她也写了。。。。
Oxford的同学，看原帖背景称是个横扫物理帝
这是LZ转的！！！！！转自校内！！！！！！不要回复我Cong啊神马的。。。。这不是我。。。。我要是有这么牛逼就好了。。。
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我何德何能，收了一堆本以为拿不到的OFFERS，到头来纠结不已。想这半年来跟家里打电话常出现的场景就是，我对着摄像头一把鼻涕一把眼泪地说，“妈妈……爸爸……如果这七个学校一个都不要我，我怎么办啊……我不想去华盛顿州立大学读书……但我不想在女校再待一年了……我讨厌死这里了.....呜呜呜呜呜呜……”

我的硬件条件差得很。GPA低空飞过，三年毕业的人，实习经历和研究必然做不了多少，不少日子还旅游旅游就过去了。也许是我无意中掌握了套磁的诀窍，抑或我CHINGLISH的个人简述把个个教授看地内牛满面。录取结果，实在是令人诧异。

不用自己出钱的

Fellowship: 普林斯顿

Research assistantship: 康奈尔， 华盛顿州立

Master stipend + GSI: 伯克利

要自己出钱的

Carnegie Mellon (Master: 1/6 of tuition + living expenses)

GaTech (一分钱都木有啊啊啊啊）

还在等

Columbia

UC Davis

啊对了，没有拒信。

现在还在等DAVIS和哥伦比亚的结果。俩学校非常淡定地快到四月一号了还一声不吭。今天又得知，我用了两年的手提被我几滴水泼坏了，需要重新购置一部，我所有的数据和作业和文章都还在里面，十分杯具。本来想着如果电脑修好了，要好好用中文写一篇长文唠叨一下临近毕业的心情， 无奈手提弃我而去。 于是决定发发申请文书，搏校内上好友一笑，积攒些人品。我所有的申请文章大概架构都是这样了，其中各种吹水各种扯淡，大家心照， HIE HIE HIE。

希望接下来一个月的毕业论文和再接下来的毕业典礼和毕业旅行，不要再这样不顺利了。

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第一篇是哥伦比亚的个人陈述。

The tap water I drank for two years in England holds a hint of chlorine, nevertheless, drinkable; its Swiss counterpart, crystal-clear and tastes divine. I have inhaled voraciously the air in Pullman, Washington, along with its scent of ripening wheat and temperate forests. I have swum into the Mediterranean Sea straight from the Barcelonata beach ten minutes away from downtown Barcelona. All the while travelling and studying aboard, I think about my home, China, about how none of these things can be done there. And the thought pains me.

Becoming an Environmental Engineer is not a mere whim resulted from my concerns for China’s pollution – it became a determination, when I spent a fruitful summer at Washington State University as a research student in Laboratory for Atmospheric Research. Under the guidance of Professor Serena Chung, Professor Brian Lamb and a doctoral student Rodrigo Gonzalez-Abraham, I conducted an analysis on the effect of wildfire atmospheric emissions on regional air quality, using the current and future year simulations output by the WRF-SMOKE-CMAQ modeling framework. I discovered that wildfires account mainly for the particulate matters in the air, and that the increase in the precipitation in the future is likely to be responsible for a 60%-80% decrease in particulate matter’s concentrations. Not only have I improved my programming skill, data processing skill and the ability to approach a task through my project, but also gained knowledge in the field of air monitoring and control through a series of “crash courses” equivalent to classes that an Environmental Engineering undergraduate would take. I become enticed by the complexity and the interdisciplinarity of environmental modeling, and reaffirmed Environmental Engineering as my career path. At the time when several faculty members from the department were leaving for Tianjin, China for a project, and joked about the possibility of their accurate measuring equipments malfunctioning when operating in the megacity plagued by pollution, my heart sank, and instantly I knew that my best career option is to help converting the terrible situation.

As a Physics major and a Math minor, I make more efforts than a summer research to edge my way into Environmental Engineering. For senior year, I am taking a course entitled Water Quality and another one on Environmental Systems at Swarthmore College. In the former, I will work on a group project that aims to improve the pollution model of a local creek, developed by Professor Authur McGarity using Storm Water Management Model. If my schedule allows, the summer after my graduation will include taking basic engineering summer courses in preparation for graduate school. In addition, I will be spending my fall break this year working at California Air Resources Board and learning how research results influence public policy making. In my one-month winter break, I will intern in the Bio-fuel research sector at the ENN Company, a Chinese energy company that plays a leading role in the development of oil extraction from algae cultures.

It took me a while to figure out that I want to use my specialty in the real world as an engineer. This is mainly because I am also fascinated with theories and abstract concepts that Physics and Mathematics offer. Immersed in the atmosphere of a liberal arts college, I embrace the idea that a kid should study what fascinates him/her the most in college. Armed with enthusiasm, I did a month-long Theoretical Physics research during the summer of freshman year, on the question of whether our universe has a “preferred” handedness and whether it is detectable in the large-angle anisotropy of Cosmic Background Radiation. As it turns out, it takes more than a month for a freshman to tackle Theoretical Physics, for I spent most of the time teaching myself General Relativity through a thick textbook written by John Wheeler, instead of doing anything remotely original. While I enjoy leaving the research with a mindful of abstract ideas about the origin of the universe, I settled with myself on the contention of whether to pursue pure theories throughout my life.

The decision is no. As a result, my second research in Physics, the one started in the fall of 2009 and evolves into my senior project, differs significantly from the first one. The project in the Non-linear Physics Lab at Haverford College looks at the behaviors of swimming microorganisms in a quasi-2D fluid. The project was especially challenging at the beginning, because of the universally known fact that you cannot let a Physicist take care of living organisms. I had to figure out a systematic procedure to culture algae cells, to keep them motile, to add fluorescent tracers without disturbing their normal metabolism, and to take accurate measurements. Looking back at those days, I realized that the most valuable lesson I have learned is neither the lab procedures nor the modeling skill, but an effective approach to a new project and the step-by-step elimination of experimental difficulties. This was also a time during which I encountered frustrations and joys down the path of an objective research, and tried to handle them professionally. They say doing research is about how you do it, not what you do. And I hope to incorporate my Physics research experiences and perspectives into the future research in Environmental Engineering.

As my transcript indicates, I intend to finish my undergraduate in three years. Although Bryn Mawr and Haverford equip me with a broad spectrum of knowledge in Math, Physics, Economics and Art History, the absence of an Engineering department results in my eagerness to move on to a comprehensive university with more Engineering resources and peers, a university like Columbia.

It is impossible not to be impressed by the Carbon Sequestration research going on in Columbia for someone like me who reads every issue of Scientific American. Although I may lack the knowledge in Engineering Design, I am confident to enter this new field under the guidance of Professor Klaus Lackner; more importantly, I have already developed a strong passion for Carbon Sequestration through reading various literatures. Also, Professor Upmanu Lall’s specialty appeals to me because of his projects related to hydro-climate modeling and policy-making tools. Having visited SEAS and the department twice, I fell in love with the department’s friendly atmosphere and its “international flavor”. I would like to believe that I will be an asset to the department in return. My education background spans from China, Oxford to Philadelphia; from fifty kids per classroom in middle school, ten teenagers from five different countries per classroom in high school, to twenty brilliant young women and no men per classroom in college (see resume). I find equally great pleasure in two seemingly contrary activities: scientific research and philanthropy. It is my career goal to become a world citizen who, on one hand, savors the withdrawal of research, and on the other hand, advocates for a better environment when not at the desk. I am to be an Environmental Engineer, for my own pleasure, for the sake of my homeland, and for the sake of this globe we are all living in. And Columbia holds the same belief.

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第二篇是申请加州大学好像都要写的个人历史。我BERKELEY的那篇比DAVIS的要好很多， 但它在旧电脑里， 一时半会儿取不出来了。

Never Resort to Stereotypes

As I look back on the point of applying to graduate schools, I realize that I have always been
brave to break through the imposed stereotypes.

I refuse to be defined by the "Chinese stereotype". I cannot recount the times people are
surprised by my major, Physics, instead of Economics or Finance -- "Don’t the Chinese
undergraduates in the States study something profitable?" Nor can I recount the times my
friends reasoned similarly for my palate for Mexican foods and habit of trying out intense
sports. Stereotyping is often harmless, but I have seen it lead to forced conformation. One
recent trend is that many Chinese oversea regard getting a Ph.D. the sign of incompetence in
the job market, a side-effect of the rapid economic growth. This particularly upsets me as I
value the degree an honorable recognition of one’s pursuit of knowledge.

I am lucky to have acknowledged the "Chinese stereotype" at an early age. In the international
high school in Oxford, UK, I stood firmly on what I thought was good in every group project,
not afraid to argue fiercely in my accented English. I remember after a long argument with a
Russian Physics classmate, he receded: "Wow, she is not your average Chinese girl." The fight
against the "Chinese stereotype" continues onto college, where I learned so much by reaching
out. I do not regret for a single moment that my path derailed from the "Chinese stereotype"
long ago.

I refuse to seek refuge in the stereotypes for women. I am not weak or risk-adverse, and I
live by my ability, not feminine charm. In the elite boarding school, the girls around me
spent hours on dressing, and hang out in fancy shops and restaurants. I was deeply
disorientated, coming to Oxford only on scholarships. Two years I tried to be a charming lady,
until I arrived at Bryn Mawr where the pursuit of knowledge and the social justice activities
are the center stage. The brilliant young women dress to make a statement, not to please;

they work to achieve, not to get a salary to spend on handbags. I am now one of them. To me,

the false assumptions about women are not something I would quote if I fail to perform

-- I strive to prove that the stereotypes for women are incomplete.

I refuse to be put into "boxes" according to my primary academic field, because I and my
future are much more than just a Physics student. While I dedicate hours to my Physics
research and the difficult problem sets every day, I also try to balance the work within my
major and broader interests. In fact, this is what led me to applying to Environmental
Engineering, the very first of such transition in the history of Physics Department at
Haverford. It is not an easy transition, but I have followed where my ambition leads me, by
doing relevant research, internships, coursework and contacting faculty, and maintaining good
performance in my major. The courage to learn outside the "box" is important in the
interdisciplinary research collaboration. So far I have demonstrated my potential to work in
different scientific disciplines.

I refuse to let stereotyping diminish the future of potential scientists. During my science
teaching internship at a public high school, seeing some bright kids distracted in a chaotic
science classroom, I tried to lure them into thinking about Newton’s First Law through the
experiments, and we ended up having a great conversation on why Physics is fun.

Yet these kids may end their day by watching their new-born babies, or earning cash from

part-time jobs. I feel regretful that I got away by fighting against stereotypes, and they did not.

It has also recently dawned on me, by joining the Earth Science Women’s Network, that subjective
stereotyping still has not fully exited the academia. As I advance in my career, I will keep
encouraging myself and others to break the boundaries, no matter how strong convention
resists.

好文章。。但是貌似两篇PHS是不同人写的吧。一个drink U.K water，另一个read physics in the State.

好文章，确实是这样。。。
我的PS可能还是有些侧重只讲过去了。。木有层次啊

工科院系的prof也有很大比例是华人和印度人，对米国文化也没深刻体会

我觉得对phd申请还是好好show research

本科生和ms负责学校的diversity和leadership

表示lz这帖子在地里已经有了。。。
http://www.1point3acres.com/bbs/thread-8707-1-1.html

present1117 发表于 2012-12-4 19:38
表示lz这帖子在地里已经有了。。。
http://www.1point3acres.com/bbs/thread-8707-1-1.html

表示我刚刚看到。。。。。。我是该删帖的节奏？
最终。。。。。。。。。。我决定加入一些内容~~

这个Warald已经回复了，，，diversity跟leadership对研究生都没用。。。俺非常赞同。。。

感谢内容，很有用。

多谢分享