下周就考试了，求各路大神帮忙改下作文。

选择 university with good jobs 还是university with good professors


1. 我本人逻辑不强，所以害怕作文也会没有什么逻辑。
2. 不知道作文是不是废话太多了，是不是应该多举些例子，求指点。
3. 十分感谢！

Education has been playing an increasingly important role in present-day society and it is not surprising to see that the majority of students choose to seek a higher education after high school. However, when it comes to the issue of which kind of university to go to, students’ opinions vary from person to person. Personally, I think a university with good job opportunities is a more desirable option for students because not only will they receive the first-rate education at school, but also they will shine in the competitive job market in the future.  94

Some people may argue that professors are an essential ingredient of higher education and as a consequence of which students will benefit more from universities with a great many distinguished professors. This appears to be true. But on second thoughts, we will realize that they are just being simplistic by equating excellent professor resources with high quality education that students will receive. It is reported that more than 90 percent of preeminent professors in universities do not participate in teaching and other educational activities. Sadly, this significant fact is often overlooked by many students. When they enter a university dreaming of having classes taught by the famous professors, these students only find it is even extremely difficult to see the professors in person. 123

Different from universities that possess good professors but do not necessarily afford high level education, universities with promising job prospects will make it a point that students get the best education since having a good command of knowledge and skills in their fields is the prerequisite for a decent job.  For instance, for computer science students who want to find jobs in IT companies, they are supposed to be adept in algorithm design and code writing which constitutes the integral part of their college curriculum, because their first task during an interview is to write codes on a blackboard. On no account will they get the job if they perform badly on this very first question.  116

. Waral dи,Apart from a wealth of knowledge students will acquire, students will obtain many valuable skills and resources from universities offering good employment opportunities. First, these universities usually put a premium on enhancing students’ interpersonal skills given the fact that they are greatly valued by companies which, Obviously, this will be of great help for students in their career as well as their daily communication with others. Further, students will also improve their time management ability.  Aside from finishing their courses, most students will do an internship in companies in their free time. Facing the limited time and many deadlines, they have to learn how to prioritize tasks and arrange their time effectively.  112

Taking into account of all these factors, we can reach the conclusion that universities with good employment chances are superior to those with remarkable professors. Actually, I contend that for the sake of their future, high school students should be well-advised to attend universities with good job opportunities. 48

sorry， 刚刚发现忘记写题目了。
应该是 选择有好教授的大学 还是就业好的大学
谢谢

Education has been playing an increasingly important role in present-day society and it is not surprising to see that the majority of students now choose to seek a higher education after high school. However, when it comes to the issue of which kind of university to go to, opinions vary from person to person. Personally, I think a university with good job opportunities is a more desirable option for students because not only will they receive first-rate teaching(避重复), in the future(future是前面的shine的时态，写在一起更自然并更连贯) they will also shine in the competitive job market in the future.

Some people may argue that professors are an essential ingredient of higher education, (这里是两个不同但联系着的point，应分成两小节写) and as a consequence of which(不需要) students will benefit more from universities that have an abundance of (原句略通俗) distinguished professors. On the surface this appears to be true. But on second thoughts, we will realize that this proposition is(原句的they指的到底是谁已被甩得老远了，这里用起来有点莫名其妙。把它改成proposition有相似的意思并可解决问题) just being simplistic by equating the fame of the faculty with the quality of classes(避重复) students will receive. It is reported that more than 90 percent of preeminent professors in universities do not participate in teaching and other educational activities. Sadly, this significant fact is often overlooked by many students. When they enter a university dreaming of having classes taught by the famous professors, the students only find it is even extremely difficult even to see those professors in person.

In contrast to universities that possess prominent professors but do not necessarily provide the same quality of teaching content, universities with promising job prospects make a point that students get the best education by having a good command of knowledge and skills in their fields that are prerequisites for a decent job.  For instance, computer science students who want to find jobs in IT companies must be competent in algorithm design and code writing, and nurturing these abilities(明了地写出来到底什么constitutes an integral...) constitutes an integral part of their college curriculum. This is because their first task during an interview is to write program codes on a blackboard. On no account will they get the job if they perform badly on this very first obstacle(question没问题，可是建议用obstacle更抽象一点并可以显一下词汇).

Apart from the wealth of knowledge students will acquire(这跟后面的students obtain是一个意思，不需写两次), students will(will必须指现在还没发生的将来，这跟中文里的“会”不是完全一样的意思) obtain many valuable skills and resources from universities offering good employment opportunities. First, these universities usually put a premium on developing students’ interpersonal skills given the fact that they would be greatly valued by any future employers, since obviously those skills(要明确写出主语是什么) will be of great help for the students' careers as well as their daily communication with others.(原句略太复杂，把用词改一下即可把小节简化) Further, students have the opportunity to improve their time management ability. Aside from finishing their courses, most students will take part in an industrial internship in companies in their free time. Facing the limited time and many deadlines, they have to learn how to prioritize tasks and arrange their resources effectively.

Taking into account of all these factors, we can reach the conclusion that universities with good employment chances are superior to those with only distinguished professors. Actually, I contend that for the sake of their future, high school students would be well-advised to attend universities with promising career prospects(good job opportunities实在用的太多了。最后收场可以变化一下).

红字为修改，红底黑子为删除

总体来讲LZ写的非常好，我改的大多也只是语法上的小问题。觉得LZ在形容和选词方面还略有点简单、重复，愿LZ多背点同义词典以增加词汇的丰富性！

putout 发表于 2013-8-26 16:40
Education has been playing an increasingly important role in present-day society and it is not surpr ...

看到大牛修改，顿时泪流满面。
我也注意到自己用词比较缺乏。写的时候就觉得好尴尬，good professor 和good job 用好多次。。。。
背了一些词汇，但是写的时候总是想不到。
而且感觉好多语法错误，自己盯半天也看不出来有啥错误。
anyway,十分感谢！