第一次发作文，知道很水（求狠批，狠虐）

Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?

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I approve that university professors should spend more time educating students.
First of all, university is a school for students to study. The vital thing of university is the education. All advices, equipment, and professors are to help students' study. Although nowadays many famous universities cooperate with many companies to do research or business, the fundamental motive is to afford more opportunities for students to practice by using their knowledge from school. And professor, as a teacher, the first thing to do is to try his best effort to give the best education to his students. It's a responsibility. Students' education is the most important things in university. Like Harvard University and some illustrious universities, they are famous for their students' accomplishments in society.

Addition, though there's no doubt that professor should spend time doing research, I think the ratio between doing research and education is 40% to 60% .Research is a part of education too, and educating student well can make positive impact to research. As everyone knows that research can't be accomplished by just one person, research need team work. So professor should spend time educating students for how to do research. And also, many news and evidences prove that some great ideas and methods in researches are created or propose by students. Professor in a research, as a leader, should guide students how to use their knowledge to deal with problems during research. In a team, a leader's responsibility is to edify each teammate's potential capacity and let them use their knowledge effectively. The more professors educate students, the more positive feedback and good idea would reflect in research and finally make a great accomplishment.

As above, research and education aren't in a contrary way. Spending more time educating students can help doing better research. It can probably make research complete faster and more effective. Most importantly, it can improve students' capability and knowledge.

求狠批，难道我水到不值得一批？？？

建议如下:
1.文章最大的问题在于论点缺乏论据支撑。例如第一段 全部在说对于一个学校教育是最重要的，教授应该尽力教好学生。但是为什么要这样做？这样做的好处是什么？作者没有用具体的事例和论据来支撑自己的观点，仅仅在最后用哈佛的例子一句话带过，因而显得苍白乏力。此外 作者将论点反反复复的作表述，显得冗余。
2.第二段结构不通。感觉这一段想要说 如果能够教育好学生，学生也能够做出好的research，从而给学校带来提高。可是该段第一句话是说作者认为科研和教学应当分配的比例。这跟后面是无法衔接的。通常一个段落的第一句话需要清晰的表述出文章的中心思想。
3.句法句式需要修改。仍以第一段为例子，用了大量短句。而这些短句间，既没有严格的逻辑关系，也没有连接词来衔接。这样显得思路没有flow smoothly.
4.基本语法错误如第一段  All advices, equipment, and professors。 为什么equipment不加s?

可能有的话说的比较苛刻，但完全是对文不对人啊。 祝楼主取得进步 考出好成绩

blowblowwind 发表于 2013-10-4 09:54
建议如下:
1.文章最大的问题在于论点缺乏论据支撑。例如第一段 全部在说对于一个学校教育是最重要的，教授 ...

多谢提点，受教了

Like Harvard University and some illustrious universities, they are famous for their students' accomplishments in society."Like" 不能做连词哦，友情提醒下