CS master PS第一版求狠拍

终于把PS第一版搞完了。。写的头晕脑涨的，请各位狠拍！

       
During my first two years at XXX University, I did not find my own interested area. I just took required course like others and simply pursued high grades. Because I was in Information Science School, even though my major was not computer science, I was required to take programming courses. I studied hard on programming and obtained good grades on programming courses, but I did not think that I would be a programmer or computer science researcher then.
        Things changed at my fifth semester. I was enrolled as an exchange student in Technical University of Munich, one of the best university in Germany. I took a course named Computational Intelligence, it is this course that inspired my interest on computer science. In this course, we were required to implement back-propagation neural network, Dijkstra's Algorithm and solve traveling salesman problem on the online judgement website. I was addicted to programming because I could see the improvement of my code on the website. It was just like playing video games: I worked hard, became stronger and stronger, and finally defeated the boss. That was the first time I found that programming is so interesting.
        After I came back to XXX University, I decided to study more about computer science and find my interested research area. I tried a lot of areas, such as computer vision, java programming and intrusion detection. Finally, I found that I am good at processing various kinds of data.
In my last year at XXX University, the topic of my graduation thesis is traffic state estimation. This is an important topic in Intelligent Transportation Systems, and there are a lot of traditional method such as Kalman Filter to deal with this problem. However, I want to solve this problem using a different way, a “computer science” way. I transformed this problem into a classification problem and constructed two distributions to describe traffic state. This idea is inspired by the famous algorithm LDA in nature language process. The two distributions which describes traffic state are similar with topic distribution and word distribution in LDA algorithm. This was my first attempt to implement algorithms in natural language processing in transportation systems. Fortunately, my algorithm worked very well. The success of my idea motivated me to dig deeper about traffic data. Hence, I went a step further: I combined traffic state distribution derived by history traffic data and back-propagation neural network to predict short-term traffic flow. This method also achieved a better result than traditional method. Finally, my thesis got a very good grade(93/100) and the related conference paper was accepted and represented at ITSC 2016, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Through my graduation thesis, I realized the value of data and data mining algorithms: data can provide us with a large number of information, but not all information is easy to access or obtain, that is why we need data mining algorithms. My experience about graduation thesis also motivated me to pursue a career about data science.
        After I graduated, I found a job at Department of Information Systems, XXX University as a research assistant. I focus on medical data analysis and medicine interaction prediction. I get my job for only three month, but I have achieved some results on my research. I processed medicine interaction data and transformed those data to a medicine network for visualization. What’s more, I studied two state-of-art algorithms for predicting interaction between Western medicines, implemented one in our system. Those achievements has been accepted as a conference paper at ICSH 2016. Currently, I am working on two areas. The first one is interaction prediction between Chinese medicines using the prediction result of Western medicine and Chinese medicine component data; the second is applying state-of-art machine learning or data mining approaches such as deep learning to improve the accuracy of medicine interaction prediction.
        My ultimate goal is to achieve a great career in data science. That is why I pursue a master degree in computer science or related areas. Your program is one of the best programs in the United State. I believe your program can provide me with an excellent environment for further exploration in my interest area and a great opportunity to start my career. So I resolve to apply your program to get closer to my goal.

现在ds是不是很火呀 看到好多cs-ds了

我感觉写的蛮好   同自动化转cs  受教了。。

经历讲的很清楚，语言感觉也不错，点个赞。
然后不知道是不是应该再写具体点，目标规划啥的
当然，各学校匹配得后续补上

LDA是聚类算法，不是分类算法。所以前面的transformed this problem into a classification problem最好改成transformed this problem into a clustering problem。把computer vision, java programming和intrusion detection并列也是不妥的。

one of the best universit［ies］... 不管内容怎么样不要出现语法错误呀