很不爽同组的男生，很长的树洞

因为这个事情不爽了两天了，于是想在匿名版发一下听听大家的意见
事情是这样的，我们组有一位印度女生a, 和我同年入学，人挺好的，还喊过我出去滑雪，然后有一个本科从印度来我们组交流的印度男生b, b教过我一些很有用的engineering skills，人也很热心，a和b 最近在合作一个project，这是背景。然后我搬到了和a同一个公寓，上下楼，我就想喊a来我家吃饭吧，也叫上b，感谢他之前的帮忙。
奇怪的事情一点点发生了
b说他要比a提前一点过来，帮我准备，我说好。然后我说我再邀请同一个楼的中国师兄吧，因为这位师兄人也很nice。b“I'm more comfortable without him. But if you're considering inviting him, go ahead:upside_down_face:”（原话）那我就好吧，因为我平时和这个师兄还有其他中国朋友经常出去玩，也不差这一次，我就没坚持。
b来了后，我给他开门，他一进屋就走到我床前，要往床上坐，吓得我一下拉住了他胳膊，我说不行，然后他就开始各种胡搅蛮缠，当时太尴尬太紧张我已经记不太清了。我要收拾桌子，他一定要按他的想法布置，我拒绝了他（因为我嫌麻烦）他就开始用身体挡住不让我走，我不想和他有身体接触左转右转突破不了就在原地不动了，虽然他还是嘻嘻哈哈的态度但是我已经不太高兴了，我就说If you keep doing so，there won't be the seconde invitation.他说他不在乎。后来又一些事，a带了一些她自己做的点心来了，a在的时候他就恢复正常了一些，我们就开始吃饭，吃完a走了，b说不走，坐在椅子上要聊天，我直接换好衣服把门打开，他才换鞋拿包和我出去。然后我想把他送到公交车站，车站旁有一个hiking的小径入口，b说要去走路，我不同意说太晚了，b就开始拽我的胳膊，我拉住了路边杆子，跟他说他在这样路过的人可能会打911，他才松手。
以下是第二天我们的聊天记录，超级长，主要是b说话
b: "Why the fuck are you ignoring me?I am bothered right now. And I want to talk. RIGHT NOW"
我：“Why the fuck are you calling me? To be honest, yesterday I tried really hard to control my temper when you did some not decent and not polite behaviour. I don’t want to elaborate it but you know what you did. After xxxx(a的名字) came, you became normal and kind suddenly. I don’t know why you insisted on making me awkward and uncomfortable when there were only two of us. I planned to ignore these feelings and keep our relationship as a friend. But today I changed my mind. Because it is really difficult to chat with you as usual without thinking about what happened yesterday. It is better that make our relationship from friends back to ordinary schoolmates.”
b:"Wtf. Wait a sec. What did I do before xxxx came?
Neither I did anything. Infact at one moment you impulsively withdrew your arm when we were sitting on your PC. At that moment I knew you were uncomfortable hence I offered to maintain some space. And I abided by that until Xxxx was there
5:55
If you want decent and polite behavior, you should've stopped talking to me long long back
5:56
And if you're uncomfortable, you should speak up (我说了他根本没听进去啊，为什么反过来怪我)
5:56
In fact it is always me who have to keep this in mind that XXX(我的名字) doesn't speak up
5:57
I understood you don't want any physical touch when I was standing next to your kitchen sink and I was avoiding you to put something. You bumped into me and said don't touch me. It wasn't even my fault(我试图突破他的阻挡时碰到了他，就说了don't touch me，为什么让他说的好像我在勾引他)
5:57
But I understood that you don't want that
. 5:58
If you are uncomfortable, it's your responsibility to communicate well
5:59
You cannot just come next day saying - oh you were indecent yesterday
5:59
I don't take any blame because you cannot stand up for you
6:00
Body language reveals a lot. And I have to keep an eye on your body language because I know you are polite and you won't say what you like
6:01
And I do this because I care for your feelings, what you want to do
6:02
And tbh, most of the time you don't even know what you want. You and your body say stuff differently.
6:04
Remain as much angry as you want
6:04
But remember - it was you not me
6:05
I took a step back whenever you indicated
6:06
Do whatever you want to do
6:06
I don't give a fuck
6:07
We don't have to even be "ordinary schoolmates"
6:07
I'll just ignore you in all the lab meetings and you do the same
6:08
I won't be fucking pretending like I'm friends with you when I'm not
我看完很生气，这个话术也太会了吧，我恨自己嘴笨英语差说不过他，只能发了这个“I told you. I repeated more than once. But you didn’t take that seriously. If you insisted that it is all my fault, I’m ok with that. I dislike arguing with people. Do whatever you want and end this conversation here”
b:
. 1point3acres.com Do you even know why I kept making fun of you the whole time? Because I knew you were enjoying that. Our brain is a shitty organ. It does not know what it wants. But your body eventually reveals what you want. I knew you were enjoying that (even if you don't know that yourself). Your open hands, dilated eyes, all I need to do is look into your eyes once and I know how you feel. (看完这段我要气疯了！！也是我要来论坛发泄的原因，你的大脑is shitty不代表人人大脑跟你一样，但是我不知道怎么用英语跟他吵，气死我了气死我了)
That being said, you were saying no to me for everything. And it was me who has to make you happy while not crossing any boundaries. I knew that your bed is a strict boundary because when I acted to jump on it, you crossed your hands, which is the human equivalent of soothing yourself. Once I knew, I never crossed that boundary but imitated a few times. Your sly smile made it worth the effort. (只有cross the boundary和没有cross两种，imitate不知道是什么,我猜他想说试探，去吃shit吧你！)
There is a big difference between saying something to a person and notifying something to a person. In the future, if a guy makes you uncomfortable, please do a favor for the entire universe and tell him that "IT IS MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE."(我已经这么说了，你听了吗！！)
I don't get to spend much time with you. That's why the small moments with you feels like infinity. Perhaps God planned only small infinities for me. And I am grateful for those small infinities. And I want you to feel the same.
7:00
Right now also, you are not standing up for yourself. It's important for you to do that. And I would love to see you doing that.
7:01
But while you learn, I am willing to take a part of the burden off your head
7:01
Sometimes I will make mistake
7:01
We are not the same person. I have to infer on my own if you're not saying things explicitly. (edited)
7:02
But I spent time to understand you, your culture, your background, what you like, what you dislike
7:03
For some reason, I still fucking remember that you like bread （我不喜欢，不知道为什么突然来这一句，他是不是有幻想症）
7:04
For some reason, I keep a mental tab of how you pronounce words. So in future, we can have easier communication （他当着别人的面和我的面也说过我英语口语不好，口音重，我？？我清楚我英语烂，也请练好你自己的咖喱口音，没有歧视的意思，就针对他这个人）
7:06
Didn't you notice that now we can talk with you just repeating some words? It's because I put efforts into understanding your pronunciation
7:06
Let's not just end the conversation here
7:07
Let's also block each other in Slack （我支持，请问slack有这个功能吗）
7:07
And delete any photo I have with you （反正我手机里没有）
7:07
And pull down all your memories from my album
7:07
So after 10 years when we look back to our XXX(我们学校的名字) days, we don't have a memory of each other
7:08
It would remind me that I had many great friends at XXX（学校）. But XXX(我的名字) was not among them （我觉得挺好的）
看完这一堆话我真的气得要骂街，为什么他说的自己这么委屈，我好像很坏一样，我搬来后请同学，男生女生都有，来我家吃饭，大家都玩的很开心啊，上周我和a还有另外2个外国男生一起去hiking, 也很开心，为什么到他就会发生这种事！！而且更让我生气的是，我还英语不好，不知道怎么和他吵，跟同学用英语也讲不清那天发生的事情，明天开组会还要和他在zoom见，我准备无视他，后天实验室有online party，我就不去了，气死我了，为什么要因为他失去和别的同学玩耍的机会！愿意这么长看下来的能不能教我几句英语让我能解释清楚事情，我好失败……

这妥妥性骚扰啊。。。中间那段“你说不要其实我知道你很享受”完全足够坐实性骚扰了。赶紧把短信作为证据给hr或者给老师吧，遇到这种事千万不要回避，这会让对方得寸进尺甚至反咬一口！！！

这位哥可能还以为自己在印度呢

楼主，我建议你直接联系导师，如果是在公司做项目，直接联系HR。在美国，任何让对方觉得受到侵犯的事，注意，是觉得，特别是女性，都可以直接当作性骚扰处理。不要被国内的传统思想所封闭。直接上报校方，比如导师，留学生办公室，或者公司HR，都会进行非常严肃的处理。你留下的这些短信都是强有力的证据。前段时间论坛里就有个人说只是发了一条暧昧消息给下属，被举报直接laid off。所以，建议楼主，如果在感觉极其不舒适的情况下，尽快联系学校或者公司HR。
一方面是保护自己，另一方面是防止对方对你进一步的进行骚扰。

b显然在性骚扰你啊，为了lz的人身安全还是赶紧拉黑吧。下次如果狭路相逢，能录音就录音能录像就录像，随时准备举报HR送他回国  2333

小姐姐是phd学生，这个人是访问的吗？怕他个锤子啊，给老板一五一十的说清楚吧，虽然不是当事人站着说话不腰疼，但是为什么要你去避免所有的接触，想点办法让他fukoff吧

这是性骚扰吧，我觉得可以和老板或者学校联系。他今天骚扰你发现好欺负，明天就可能变本加厉地骚扰其他女生。

你截屏了吗？是公司的手机/电脑吗？除了公事不要和这厮再扯了，每次他写点啥过来截屏留证。免得最后他反过来咬你骚扰他。

不是性骚扰也10000%是骚扰了！小姐姐注意留好你们对话的记录，然后也不要再单独和他见面了。可以的话身边带个防狼喷雾（亚麻网站有卖）。
虽然可以报给你老板或者上级去处理，但是保不住这样极端的人能做出什么来。请保护好自己。

现在的印度人这么自信的吗？