查看: 1317|回复: 4
收起左侧

[T作文-已改] 8.25机经独立——工作比社交更影响幸福

|只看干货
xzb88 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   99% (128)
 
 
0% (1)    👎

注册一亩三分地论坛,查看更多干货!

您需要 登录 才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?注册账号

x
本帖最后由 xzb88 于 2013-8-20 23:39 编辑

Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

Outline: disagree
Family, take care of parents, bring up children
Help from friends
Earn to live, stress from boss, coworker, worried about unemployment

正文
1)Is it generally correct for everybody that one feels happier when he or she is performing well in jobs than gathering in the social life? Though some people do devote themselves and spend most of their time in working, I tend to believe that the majority of people live happier lives when staying with their families or friends rather than doing a job. When sharing their experience with their family members or friends, people gain emotional support and mental power to overcome difficulty in life, which makes the lives brighter and more hopeful. For more detail, let me list my arguments as follows.

2)Most people will not deny that families are the most essential part of their life, and their main goal of life is sharing happiness with their family members. Before being adults, people grow up peacefully thanks to the protection of their parents. It is the gratefulness of the breeding of their parents that make people take good care of their parents, either by buying them comfortable house or by offering them the medical care. Additionally, people also feel cheerful to teach their child since children are in some sense the future of their life. As the main part of the social life of people, the harmonious relationship between the people and their parents and children offers them endless happiness.

3)Besides, people gain much help from their friends, which also play an inevitable role in social relationship, and have a sense of joyfulness and confidence when staying with them. When studying in schools or colleges, people discuss academic questions, do sports and overcome the difficulties together. All of these activities help develop a deep relationship of the classmates and friends. Nobody can live a life without the assistance of friends, from whom one may obtain different perspectives of ideas and a large amount of sustention when they are facing problems in life. In this case, friends is an inalienable part of the people's social life and once deprived of them, people would definitely feel agonized.

4)Finally, I deem it reasonable that the purpose of getting a job is to offer a more financial sustention for the social life of people. Working is the foundation of life, but this does not mean working give people happiness. In fact, sometimes people's jobs are complicated, insipid and boring. Also, it is quite common that many people suffer heavy pressure from their boss or coworkers, which means they may face unemployment problem if not working hard. Happiness seems rare for many people when they are working, much less than that when they are staying together with their families or friends.

5)All in all, I do not agree with the statement that job gives people more happiness than people's social life. It is the inalienability and significance of social relationship with other people that help people live a happy and colorful life.


words:474,无计时。
需要回批的请留下地址,谢谢版友。


评分

参与人数 1大米 +20 收起 理由
vincent11 + 20

查看全部评分


上一篇:我整理的8.25鸡精17篇独立写作提纲(吐血更新中),如果考到了也好有个准备~
下一篇:top 10 writing 2求改
smellycat 2013-8-19 11:58:24 | 显示全部楼层
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   91% (433)
 
 
8% (38)    👎
我觉得我和lz理解的social life不一样,lz理解的是家人和朋友,而我理解的是所有和自己有联系的人,包括同事,上司之类的。我个人感觉,lz应该把social life的内容看的宽泛一些,不只是家人和朋友。
其他感觉都还不错,一些语句上的修改在文中标出来了,lz觉得不妥的地方可以提出来再讨论哈。

1)Is it generally correct for everybody that one feels happier when he or she is performing well in jobs than gathering in the social life? Though some people do devote themselves and spend most of their time on work, I tend to believe that the majority of people live happier lives when staying with their families or friends rather than doing a job. When sharing their experience with their family members or friends, people gain emotional support and mental power to overcome difficulty in life, which makes the lives brighter and more hopeful. For more detail, let me list my arguments as follows.

2)Most people will not deny that families are the most essential part of their life, and their main goal of life is sharing happiness with their family members. Before being adults, people grow up peacefully thanks to the protection of their parents. They are very grateful to their parents and always willing to take good care of them, either by buying them comfortable house or by offering them the medical care. Additionally, people also feel cheerful to teach their children since they care about their welfare instinctively, and in some sense children’s healthy growth benefits their future life. As the main part of the social life of people, the harmonious relationship between parents and children offers them endless happiness. (这段都在说父母和孩子,忽然出现the people and their parents and children感觉不妥,我直接改成了parents and children)
3)Besides, people gain much help from their friends, which also play an inevitable role in social relationship, and have a sense of joyfulness and confidence when staying with them. When studying in schools or colleges, people discuss academic questions, do sports and overcome the difficulties together. All of these activities help develop a firm relationship of the classmates and friends. Nobody can live a life without the assistance of friends, from whom one may obtain different perspectives of ideas and a large amount of sustention when they are facing problems in life. In this case, friendship is an inalienable part of the people's social life and once deprived, people would definitely feel agonized.
4)Finally, I deem it reasonable that the purpose of getting a job is to obtain a more stable financial sustention for the social life of people. Working is the foundation of life, but this does not mean working give people happiness. In fact, sometimes people's jobs are complicated, insipid and boring. Also, it is quite common that many people suffer heavy pressure from their boss or coworkers, which means they may face unemployment problem if not working hard. Happiness seems rare for many people when they are working, much less than that when they are staying together with their families or friends.
5)All in all, I do not agree with the statement that job gives people more happiness than people's social life. It is the inalienability and significance of social relationship with other people that help people live a happy and colorful life.



另外这是我的同题练习,lz有空的话可以帮忙看看,3q啦
http://www.1point3acres.com/bbs/thread-70356-1-1.html

评分

参与人数 1大米 +30 收起 理由
vincent11 + 30

查看全部评分

回复

使用道具 举报

smellycat 2013-8-19 12:01:20 | 显示全部楼层
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   91% (433)
 
 
8% (38)    👎
Happiness seems rare for many people when they are working, at least much less than that when they are staying together with their families or friends.
你看这个句子这样改会不会好些
另外lz可以试着在论证中举一些事例来支撑观点
回复

使用道具 举报

 楼主| xzb88 2013-8-19 16:11:37 | 显示全部楼层
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   99% (128)
 
 
0% (1)    👎
smellycat 发表于 2013-8-19 12:01
Happiness seems rare for many people when they are working, at least much less than that when they a ...

已回批。  这些生活话题的例子应该要怎么准备呢?
回复

使用道具 举报

smellycat 2013-8-19 17:29:33 | 显示全部楼层
本楼: 👍   0% (0)
 
 
0% (0)   👎
全局: 👍   91% (433)
 
 
8% (38)    👎
xzb88 发表于 2013-8-19 16:11
已回批。  这些生活话题的例子应该要怎么准备呢?

3q。这个要靠平时积累了,比如读别人文章的时候看看别人是怎么把例子用进去的,实在想不出来自己编都可以。我是看到过有人编的是他参加过一个调查,调查内容是balabala,调查结果就可以论证文章观点……
因为我这方面做的也不好,所以也给不了很好的建议,不过确实有例子会使文章增色不少。

评分

参与人数 1大米 +3 收起 理由
xzb88 + 3 好的

查看全部评分

回复

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册账号
隐私提醒:
  • ☑ 禁止发布广告,拉群,贴个人联系方式:找人请去🔗同学同事飞友,拉群请去🔗拉群结伴,广告请去🔗跳蚤市场,和 🔗租房广告|找室友
  • ☑ 论坛内容在发帖 30 分钟内可以编辑,过后则不能删帖。为防止被骚扰甚至人肉,不要公开留微信等联系方式,如有需求请以论坛私信方式发送。
  • ☑ 干货版块可免费使用 🔗超级匿名:面经(美国面经、中国面经、数科面经、PM面经),抖包袱(美国、中国)和录取汇报、定位选校版
  • ☑ 查阅全站 🔗各种匿名方法

本版积分规则

>
快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表