有好心的朋友可以帮忙看看我的PS么

When I was little, accounting has always a topic of conservation in my house because my father is an accountant. His passion for the profession inspired me and piqued my interest in pursuing accounting as a career. When I applied to undergraduate programs, I strongly considered my options and decided that my passion indeed lied in accounting. During the first year of study, I realized that accounting is not simply learning how to manage money but also learning how to manage a company.

My journey in accounting has not always been smooth. Interested in learning the intricacies of managing money, I started my first accounting course. Unfortunately, I failed the introductory accounting class. This setback helped me understand that accounting is much more than simple math calculations. Accounting covers all aspects of the company and the methods of accounting change depending on the unique needs of the company. Moreover, accounting is the foundation of management. A good “accountant can lead the company to a better future.
After the first years strive into the accounting program and second-year fortifying my background, I began to narrow my scope of interest to acquire extensive training and experience. In the Tax class, I spent three months learning how to correctly fill out tax returns and analyze ethic tasks. To enhance my tax knowledge, I went to a public tax return organization that offers free tax prep for low-income families. This was the first hands-on experience, which further affirmed my interest in accounting.
My short-term career is to finish my graduate degree and pass the CPA exam. The graduate study would help me learn more about accounting knowledge and help me to prepare the CPA exam. My long-term career goal is to enter a Big Four accounting firm after graduation. I applied for a summer internship at China KPMG and passed the final interview stage. But I gave up this opportunity because I needed to return to the United States to complete a summer course. Even though I missed this opportunity, preparing for the interview helped me learn more about KPMG such as the work environment and promotion system. I am eager to join such an impactful and multi-dimensional work environment in the future.

After careful consideration, I am confident that the {Program Name} at George Washington University represents the next logical step on my career trajectory. I am especially attracted to the overall course curriculum, the structure of which precisely meets my needs. Firstly, its rich course offerings nearly cover all domain knowledge needed for the CPA exam. Secondly, the curriculum strikes a good balance between the breadth and depth of knowledge. Thirdly, the accelerated nature of the course will allow me to fortify my skillset in a short period of time and enter the workforce sooner and emerge as a leader in the accounting field. All in all, my undergraduate experiences have shaped my personal goals and equipped me with the knowledge and competence necessary to succeed in graduate study. I firmly believe that the Master of Accountancy program at George Washington University is an ideal choice in support of my career goal. If admitted, I would bring my strong enthusiasm, unique experiences, and steadfast commitment to George Washington University and contribute to the learning experience of my peers.  

麻叶 建议你用用grammarly 不要钱的查查语法
我看了半天第一句没明白啥意思你是想写conversation吗😂
. .и
感觉用词表达都比较生硬 找一些本土付费修改吧
第一段第二段衔接不好表意重复
不要用fail这种词 用didn’t perform well(

楼主的语法错误还是蛮多的，建议找个国内改文书的老师仔细改下。

问题还是不少的，首先语法，其次句式结构，用词风格和句式都有点口语化，还有一些academic writing上的小问题，比如but这种词不要大写单独起一个句子，还有一些dependent clause前要加标点符号等等

我提一点人感受建议。【 Secondly, the curriculum strikes a good balance between the breadth and depth of knowledge】   how ! 感觉有点空洞， 写在哪一个学校都可以。 【All in all, my undergraduate experiences have shaped my personal goals and equipped me with the knowledge and competence necessary to succeed in graduate study.】  哪些技能，show it。