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[T作文-已改] 鸡精作文求修改,谢谢啦

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本帖最后由 q198800287 于 2013-8-21 17:57 编辑

题目:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as certain entertainment and athletes, are more important for younger people than older people.

正文:
In this explosive information era, people are exposed to a plethora of messages and remarks that transmitted by various media. Among these views from other people, the opinions of public figures are especially appealing to us because celebrities tend to be regarded as our example models that can be learned from. Then, do the views of celebrities attach different significance to younger people and older people? My answer would be no, but not that simple.

As for the positive views of celebrities that convey the correct values to the public, both younger and older people are supposed to set considerable store by the opinions. With better access to the social network and more open-minded attitudes towards new concepts, the youth are naturally more willing to be influenced by famous people's opinions. There are numerous examples showing that younger people are encouraged and inspired by their idols' remarks. By following the celebrities' steps, many young people make their own success. Such is a desirable influence that we would like to see, which is also suitable for the seniors. Take my mother for example. "Sports make me feel younger”, the comment twittered by Li Na (the most famous tennis player in China) has motivated my mother to quit being a sedentary women but to work out at the court. My mother would not be in such a good fit now if she did not bear in mind what Li Na had said. This is a case in point that the opinions of famous people are important for older people as well as younger people.  

On the other hand, people, whatever your age, should by no means accept the comments made by celebrities unconditionally. Celebrities are no exceptionally human beings like we are. They sometimes make mistakes as everybody else does. So it is irrational to agree with celebrities absolutely when the opinions are controversial or even obviously contradict to the universal values. What's more, the opinions of celebrities are not always what they mean, but just are driven by financial interests. This point is best illustrated with the example of advertisement. Using the same product suggested by the celebrity in an advertisement would not always come out in the same way. Younger people, especially children and teenagers should be more mindful of this illusion because they are less equipped with the ability to distinguish the truth compared with older and experienced people.

In conclusion, the importance of the opinions of celebrities should not be varied according to different ages. Old and young alike should cherish the positive values conveyed by celebrities while be cautious to the biased opinions.

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Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? The opinions of celebrities, such as certain entertainment andathletes, are more important for younger people than older people.
In this explosive information era, peopleare exposed to a plethora of messages and remarks that transmitted by variousmedia. Among these views from other people, opinions of public figures areespecially appealing to us because celebrities tend to be regarded as ourexample models who we can learn from(Use the positive and passive alternately).Then, do the views of celebrities attach different significance to youngerpeople and older people? My answer would be no, but not that simple.
As for the positive views of celebritiesthat convey the correct values to the public, both younger and older people aresupposed to set considerable store by the opinions. With a better access to thesocial network and more open-minded attitudes towards new concepts, the youthare naturally more willing to be influenced by famous people's opinions. Thereare numerous examples showing that younger people are encouraged and inspiredby their idols' remarks. By following the celebrities' steps, many young peoplemake their own success. Such is a desirable influence that we would like tosee, which is also suitable for the seniors. Take my mother as an example."Sports make me feel younger”, the comment twittered by Li Na (the mostfamous tennis player in China) has motivated my mother to quit being asedentary women but to work out at the court. My mother would not be in such agood fit now if she did not bear in mind what Li Na had said. This is a case inpoint that the opinions of famous people are important for older people as wellas for younger people.
On the other hand, people, whatever yourage, should by no means accept the comments made by celebritiesunconditionally. Celebrities are no exceptionally human beings as we are. Theysometimes make mistakes as anyone else does. So it is irrational to agree withcelebrities absolutely when the opinions are controversial or even obviouslycontradict to the universal values. What's more, the opinions of celebritiesare not always what they mean, but just are driven by financial interests. Thispoint is best illustrated with the example of advertisement. Using the sameproduct suggested by the celebrity in an advertisement would not always comeout in the same way. Younger people, especially children and teenagers shouldbe more mindful of this illusion as less equipped with the ability todistinguish the truth compared with older and experienced people.
In conclusion, the importance of celebrities’opinions (two continuous "of" seems strange)should not be varied according to different ages. Old and young alikeshould cherish the positive values conveyed by celebrities while be cautious tothe biased opinions.

整体很不错,高级词汇用了不少
我要向LZ多学习~~
hdchina2010
2013-08-13


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参与人数 2大米 +43 收起 理由
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woolongtea + 3 很仔细帮我扣细节问题啊

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 楼主| woolongtea 2013-8-14 12:52:09 | 显示全部楼层
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hdchina2010 发表于 2013-8-13 17:09
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? The opinions of celebrities, such as certain e ...

谢谢修改啊,我这文章都不算限时写的,写好后自己修改过了

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满意就个分给批改人 加分 自己不扣分的  发表于 2013-8-14 12:54
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