求狠批 Successful people try new things and take risks

题目：Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well
tpo 20 的作文
套了个模板，然后发觉实际上凑不出这么多东西。。。这点真是Orz
如果都没法细改的话说一下大的问题。

当时想的是这样：
A：支持尝试和冒险的人：
1.没有创新坐吃山空
2.成功人都靠新发现/想法脱颖而出
3.畏惧冒险会导致失败（似乎重复了）

B:不支持：已知的东西是基础

个人想法：有A无B有机会，有B无A没机会。所以A重要

求批改

Before rendering my opinion, it's necessary to take a glance of both sides. Those who hold the view that trial for new thing and risks contribute more to success than doing conventional things should hold at least one, if not all, of the following opinion.

One of the reason why people support this idea is that following what they have known is just repeating the past, unlikely to lead to a success. Even though some people inherit much wealth from past generation and seem to be successful, these achievements should be ascribed to the ancestors. If the present generation just do what know how to do well without any new creation, the advent of the decline in the accumulation will be unavoidable.

In addition, the company of new inventions or discoveries with success should be another reason for the statement. In modern society, most of the businessmen or scientists obtain their great success by their new technology or idea. In order to defeat other competitors and achieve success, knowing how to do well is not enough to break through the present situation. They need some new ideas and have some trials to realize them, indicating the importance of creation and imagination.

Thirdly, much of the failure is arisen from the fear for risks. Creations has an assumption that this field has never been exploited before and it is possible that all the efforts would be in vain in the end. However, with no one taking any risk or trying something new, this will be no improvement any more, let alone success.

For those who disagree with this statement, the familiar things are the basic of success. These things can help somehow evaluate the risks and provide some improvement for the new invention.

As far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement that the trial for new things and risks play an important role of success. As are mentioned above, the familiar things really make some preparation for the success, but the ways to success is built up by the trials and risks. It’s possible for a person with great creation but not familiar enough with this field to succeed while those who never step into a new world is unlikely to have the chance. To sum up. For those successful persons it is more important to try new things and take some risk than only focus on what they have known.

ps：其实写完才发觉反过来好像例子更好举一点。

Before rendering my opinion, it's necessary to take a glance of both sides. （赶脚是典型GRE作文的写法。。托福的话，你选一个你觉得更好的就行，就像你说的，虽然有点小瑕疵但是你还是认为这样这样更好，就行了）Those who hold the view that trial for new thing and risks contribute more to success than doing conventional things should hold at least one, if not all, of the following opinion.（感觉第一段木有啥信息量啊。。）

One of the reasons why people support this idea is that following what they have known is just repeating the past, unlikely to lead to a success. （为什么这样就不会成功？给个例子呗~比如说近100年的科技发展超过了以往所有，而这些成果都来自于创新。正是这些成果给社会带来了变革，给创新的人带来了成功。巴拉巴拉的。。）Even though some people inherit much wealth from past generation and seem to be successful, these achievements should be ascribed to the ancestors. If the present generation just do what know how to do well without any new creation, the advent of the decline in the accumulation will be unavoidable.（这里可以掰一个更具体的例子。说网络刚刚普及的时候，什么什么店拒绝变化，最后被率先搞网络的竞争对手搞垮了什么的。。）

In addition, the company of new inventions or discoveries with success should be another reason for the statement. In modern society, most of the businessmen or scientists obtain their great success by their new technology or idea. In order to defeat other competitors and achieve success, knowing how to do well is not enough to break through the present situation. They need some new ideas and have some trials to realize them, indicating the importance of creation and imagination.（感觉说到底跟前面还是一回事的赶脚。。也许可以说创新才会发现新的商机，而这个新领域几乎没有对手，所以才会容易成功。少了中间的原因的话，就跟前一段很像而且逻辑没有说服力了。。）

Thirdly, much of the failure is arisen from the fear for risks. Creations has an assumption that this field has never been exploited before and it is possible that all the efforts would be in vain in the end. However, with no one taking any risk or trying something new, this will be no improvement any more, let alone success.（个人观点是缺点带过就好，没必要那么着重讲，毕竟是托福不是GRE。。个人观点哈。。仔细看起来，这段其实可以和上一段合体什么的。。冏）

For those who disagree with this statement, the familiar things are the basic of success. These things can help somehow evaluate the risks and provide some improvement for the new invention. （读晕了。。）

As far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement that the trial for new things and risks play an important role of success. As are mentioned above, the familiar things really make some preparation for the success, but the ways to success is built up by the trials and risks. It’s possible for a person with great creation but not familiar enough with this field to succeed while those who never step into a new world is unlikely to have the chance. To sum up. For those successful persons it is more important to try new things and take some risk than only focus on what they have known. （赶脚familiar的风头盖过creation。。结尾其实写得挺好的哈~）

qingshan412 发表于 2013-12-1 23:11
Before rendering my opinion, it's necessary to take a glance of both sides. （赶脚是典型GRE作文的写法 ...

9月份的帖子。。话说当时还是穷农民一个。。
谢谢，不过可能帖主都考过了，我们还是focus on新发的帖子吧~